5 Tips for Breaking Up and Ending a Long Distance Relationship
Here is an article I wish I had never written.
But if today you are about to end your long-distance relationship, then it is essential that you do it the right way.
It’s obviously not something easy going, but if it’s the best thing for your couple, here are five steps you can take to break slowly.
1. Make sure this is what you want
Making the decision to break up is not something to be done lightly. You have to think long and hard about it and avoid doing this on a whim.
Are you sure this is what you want?
If you want to know if breaking up is worth it, you can read the article on 10 Signs It’s Time to End Your Long Distance Relationship.
Indeed there are many aspects to take into account before making this decision :
- Why would you want to break?
- Is it a lack of love?
- Are you fed up with the distance?
- What is hurting your happiness now? Is it the separation or your partner?
If you have relationship problems, but that you still feel love, then you can talk about it with your partner and see how to improve your situation.
You will then find that some things can change over time, while others are primarily related to distance.
Eventually you can share your feelings with someone close to you (friend, family or even Love from a distance).
Expressing what you are feeling inside will help clarify your needs, wants, and what is on your mind. Ask the person if the reasons you would have to break up are legitimate or not.
It may be that your judgment is hasty and that an outside look can help you change your mindset about your situation.
If you are still sure of your decision, here is the procedure:
2. If possible, break up face-to-face
The best way to break up a long-distance relationship is todo in the presence of the person concerned.
Obviously, this represents a cost and a test.
But demonstrate once again your respect for what you’ve been through together and being next to your ex while grieving your relationship is priceless.
It can be hard a priori to dedicate a reunion opportunity to the breakup of your relationship.
If you have already scheduled a short visit, then take advantage of it. However, if you were going to go on vacation together for several days or weeks, it won’t be the perfect time.
Indeed, the exceptional situation of this reunion will make the breakup more difficult to initiate.
But if you miss this opportunity once back in a long-distance relationship, frustrations will inevitably resurface.
In addition, if you have the courage to break up during your long reunion, one of you will feel trapped for the remainder of the stay and an unease will be created between you because of the forced proximity.
If you don’t have a reunion scheduled, plan your trip so that it is short and as soon as possible. Of course, do not directly inform your partner of the reason for your visit. Go ahead, that’s all.
In addition, it is better to break up while you are in his city rather than in your own. This will make it easier for your other half to leave.
Avoid crowded public places which only contribute to making this ordeal more dramatic. Choose instead a neutral and uncrowded place, like a public park.
3. Otherwise, break away from a distance
If you don’t have the option to break up in person, do so either by phone or Skype.
Indeed, it is preferable to be able to express your thoughts in the best possible way during this ordeal.
As such, absolutely avoid the use of texting or instant messaging. These means of communication being much less personal, the rupture will appear all the more insulting for your ex.
Likewise, do not mention on your social networks (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) this rupture, so as not to make things harder.
Decide on the time and tool of communication, unless you already have your own communication habit.
Apologize for doing this remotely and explain yourself.
4. Be direct during the breakup
There you are. This is no longer the time to hesitate, we will have to be firm.
Take the lead by telling your partner that “We need to talk”. Tell him that for you the relationship is no longer working and that you want to break up.
Give them reasons you want to end your relationship by being tactful. Don’t look for excuses or compromise. Your break-up shouldn’t look like a negotiation.
Therefore, make your intentions clear from the start and keep your explanation short and simple. The more you stretch out, the harder it will be to get out of it.
Likewise, now is not the time to argue. Don’t blame your other half for anything. Your decision to break up comes from you, not from her.
However, listen to your partner when he / she tells you their side of the story. Be patient and show empathy to make it easier to mourn this relationship.
It won’t necessarily be quick or easy. But it is necessary.
Once you feel like you’ve said it all, it’s time to go.
Return all the things you have to him or tell him that you will send him a package by post as soon as the call is over. That’s the lesser of it.
Wish her the best and go (or hang up).
5. Go ahead
Now is the time to face the crossing of the desert, to cut the bridges and to continue to live his life.
To do this, I strongly recommend that you read the article How to Recover from a Distance Rupture ?.
– Guillaume
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