8 signs that my relationship is over
He no longer supports these incessant reproaches but remains anyway. She is tired of him but refuses to leave him. We often talk about the growing number of divorces (one in two couples separate) but rarely about those couples where nothing is going well, but who stay together through thick and thin, for fear of loneliness but also for fear of making a mistake. However, some signs are warning of a couple who better stop the charges. What is the use of enduring boredom and disagreement for years, when we could regain our freedom, and incidentally, our happiness? Here are 8 signs that he won’t come back, which prove that my relationship is over, or that my relationship is bad.
1. You no longer communicate, is your relationship over?
Who has never heard that communication was the glue of the couple? Well it’s true. A couple who talk to each other is a couple who works. Other, how to burst the abscesses that may appear? How to get out of an argument? How do you know if you are always on the same wavelength?
The couples who flounder are very often those who have stopped communicating. Talking also means wanting to move things in the right direction and therefore develop your relationship. Without discussion, the relationship remains at a standstill, unable to move forward.
Avoiding discussion also means stopping confiding, stopping talking about everyday problems, fears and desires. This is lock yourself in a bubble and gradually leave the relationship… By remaining there all the same prisoner (e).
This lack of communication gives rather gloomy scenes of life. A couple in a restaurant who spends more time on your phone than eye to eye, a meal at home where the only words spoken are « can you pass me the wine? « .
If you want to save your marriage from this bad patch, there is no quick fix. It is necessary to make efforts, find moments for two, treat yourself to weekends … Get out of your comfort zone to rediscover yourself once again.
2. You no longer have sex
If you’re wondering how to tell if your relationship is over, look towards the bedroom.
Many say that sex is 50% of good relationship health. In any case, we can agree on one thing: even if sex is not half of a relationship, when he’s not there, something is wrong.
A fulfilling sex life shows good understanding within the couple. Moreover, close lovers intimately speaking, who dare to talk about their fantasies, their desires and who completely abandon themselves to their partner are often happier but also more accomplices.
Find yourself on the pillow, it allows you to form a deep intimacy and to forget all your problems for a while. When, on the contrary, we no longer feel desire for the other, when we no longer want them, we have to ask ourselves questions. Decreases in libido do happen. But it’s not supposed to last 6 months … Is something wrong with your? Or is it that you no longer have feelings for your boyfriend / girlfriend?
If the refusal of naughty moments comes from your partner but you want it, it’s still different and moreover perhaps more frustrating. At this time, iIt is advisable to speak about it with him / her to burst the abscess and perhaps to find an intimacy.
3. You run away from moments together
When we love, we always want to be together. Sometimes we even have to move away a little because we know deep down that being stuck with two 24 hours a day is not necessarily a good thing. We have already told you here, you have to keep your moments to yourself and your garden a secret.
But when the opposite happens, how to react?
Looking for the sign that a couple is breaking up? Would you rather spend time with your friends than be with him / her? Do you avoid romantic evenings? Are you literally running away from the moments when you have to meet eye to eye? Do you go to bed after him / her so you don’t have to argue in bed? Do you even avoid answering your phone when its name is displayed?
Ask yourself these questions, it’s a good test to know if it’s the end of a couple or not. Indeed, if you no longer want to spend time with your boyfriend / girlfriend, there is definitely a problem … If you no longer have fun sharing moments together and that it’s more of a chore than anything, it’s time to go our separate ways.
4. You constantly argue
This situation must probably annoy, dismay and tire you. When we don’t even remember the reason for his last argument because they are so common, there really is a problem. Especially since often in this kind of situation, there is no valid reason that leads to the argument. It is the answer to a whole, to a relationship that is coming to an end and from which we cannot move away for all that. And therefore a relationship that hurts us.
As soon as your boyfriend / girlfriend opens their mouth to speak, as soon as they move, as soon as they make noise, he / she annoys you. It’s physical, you feel like you can’t stand it anymore and inevitably, you continue the arguments tirelessly.
Arguments are often the way to generate a crisis situation which itself would lead to separation. You seek to provoke conflict to escape the fact that your relationship is not the same as it used to be. You should rather take your courage in both hands and face your spouse. Explain yourself once and for all, even if it will lead to a breakup. It will be bad for good.
5. You are bored and look away
At the end of a relationship, you spend time together, go out, take a vacation, but nothing helps, you’re bored. Before, everything made you laugh about him / her, his facial expressions, his jokes, his way of doing things. His passions interested you and even made you crack. Today, you find his jokes heavy, you can no longer listen to him talk about his work, his studies, his life. You find it uninteresting and feel like you no longer have anything in common.
If you want to work things out, hurry and let him know about your boredom before your relationship is in a state of no return. It is important that a relationship goes in both without and that each partner is interested in the other, make efforts to surprise his / her darling.
Because the problem with boredom, beyond wasting away in your own relationship, is that it makes you want to look elsewhere. We find ourselves looking at the other couples, jealous of their complicity, their conversations, their laughter …
And if you start looking at singles then you are facing a real problem. If you want to be somewhere other than where you are now, it’s time to go. Wondering if your relationship is over? Yes. Don’t get stuck in a relationship that isn’t right for you anymore.
6. You don’t trust him anymore
You spend your time stalking your boyfriend / girlfriend on social media : Facebook, Twitter, Instagram? Do you check their phone as soon as their eyes are closed? Do you ask him a thousand questions when he goes out with his friends?
The relationship of trust is broken. Even without proof, you feel like he / she is going to cheat on you. What is this due to? Has your boyfriend / girlfriend ever been unfaithful? If so, your incessant fears are proof that the wound is not closed. And if not, you just lost your trust in him. Maybe he / she does not pay enough attention to you, that he / she does not spend enough time with you … Either way, you suffer from it.
Remember that a relationship must be based on trust in order to work. Without that, I believe your relationship is over.
7. You no longer have the same interests
It happens that over time people develop differently. At the start of your relationship, you had lots of projects in common, an identical vision of the future and above all, you had the same interests in life.
You were in agreement on everything, you were on the same page. But with time, you took different routes. You grew up, the other didn’t. And even if you try to figure out what is wrong, to understand him / her, to take an interest in what pleases him / her, nothing helps.
Initially, different interests can be a benefit: » opposites attract After all, right? But if you liked each other because you looked alike and shared the same desires, it can be very hard to get used to this new life, that new life you didn’t sign up for at the start.
If 5 years ago you dreamed of a small house, a husband, a child and a dog, your dreams may have changed. Now you dream of new dates, new encounters, you thirst for adventure and a new love story … Your story seems well and truly over.
8. You want him / her to change
When you meet someone, their little flaws would almost turn into qualities. They are found to be cute. His impatience, his disorder, his bad morning mood … But the more the years go by, the less bearable these faults are.
Especially that at the start, we pay attention to our reactions, we temper them, we want to be the best of ourselves and show ourselves in our best light. But over time, we no longer want to make concessions. We are as we are, especially as our character tends to assert itself over the years.
At this point, the small flaws at the beginning become unbearable blemishes. And if you ask him / her now to change, he / she will laugh in your face. That is why it is better to talk about it at the start of a relationship, at the risk of taking a slap in a few years …
Our advice: dare to leave
If you have more than one of these signs, your married life must literally turn into a storm or on the contrary, be absolutely platonic. However, despite these disastrous living conditions, you both have resigned yourself and continue on this path.
This is not the solution. When we realize that the relationship has no future, it’s time to leave. Obviously, disengagement is important. The couple has something reassuring, it feeds the emotional need. Losing it brings us back to our loneliness and our fear of abandonment, this feeling that we will never find someone. But it’s wrong. And better to take courage tomorrow than to live a story that makes us suffer.
Antoine Peytavin
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