What is emotional dependence?
Affective dependence is a very painful psychological condition, very difficult to live with, which the subject has great difficulty in recognizing and accepting. He perceives himself constantly and only through the other, which makes it difficult to build his own identity and a healthy relationship.
Affective dependence: an obsession with the other
The first characteristic of a person suffering from affective dependance is to be able to feel that she exists only through the other, which she places on a pedestal. This other, extremely valued, is at the center of a relationship that will not be able to be harmonious unless we take this problem head on: whether it is a romantic or friendly relationship, the emotional addict will always be in. wait and analyze anything that the person on whom they depend can say or do. So even if the relationship is healthy (i.e. the other person really appreciates the addict and shows it to them), the addict will be on the lookout and worry at the slightest sign of the relationship slowing down – yet inevitable without being serious. The addict is therefore often a very jealous person who makes many reproaches and can thus lead himself to the end of the relationship, the other person no longer supporting this behavior. In other cases, when the relationship is unhealthy (for example in an effectively unbalanced romantic relationship) the addict will suffer from the situation without feeling able to end it, convinced that there is still a way to save it.
Emotional dependence: low self-esteem
The emotionally dependent person is therefore a diminished person in his own eyes, because he does not consider himself well enough, not deserving enough of the relationship he has with this person whom he admires so much. It also implies suffering in her connection to herself: she will think that it is because she is not worth enough that the other does not love her as much as she would like. People suffering from affective dependance are therefore vulnerable, insecure and little like each other: only the validation of the other account. In this situation, it becomes very difficult, if not impossible, to build up as an individual: enslaved to his extreme and unbalanced feelings, the emotional addict gives little time for his personal development and is more vulnerable to depression.
Where does emotional dependence come from?
Generally, the affective dependance has its roots in childhood. It is most often the result of a lack of affection at this crucial time in life, from parents for example. The emotionally dependent subject does not feel worthy of the love of the latter since he has not received it. He will therefore always be in observation, in the « measure » of the love that others give him during his relationships … Convinced, even before they really begin, that he will not receive any. enough, because deep down he thinks he doesn’t deserve it. More rarely, emotional dependence can occur in adulthood after abusive relationships.
Don’t forget to share the post !
