5 Tips for Women Who Engage in an Affair with a Married Man
The best advice you can give someone about dating a married man is to never start. But after all, you never know who you’re going to fall in love with… and he might be a married man, observes Kristen Houghton in The Huffington Post.
Houghton reminds women in love with a married man that their own survival is essential, and that there are 5 hard truths they should know:
1. The needs of his family will always be more important than yours.
His family will always come first, and that includes his wife. Just because he says negative things about her doesn’t mean his marital obligations are less important to him. Even though they don’t have children, he and his wife share a network of friends and relationships he feels good in and won’t risk losing.
2. Your relationship is secret and it is doomed to remain so.
He may give you gifts but you will never get him to take you out or introduce you to his friends, acknowledging his love for you. He will never take the risk of revealing your affair.
3. Even if he is a man of heart, you are only a temporary diversion for him.
It’s not an easy thing to admit, and it hurts, but unfortunately it’s the truth. In the beginning, there is romance and passion, and the 5 to 7 focus is exciting and intoxicating, and you can mistake this libido-driven passion for love. But quickly, the dates become a task, something he « has to do ».
4. He will not leave his wife
Less than 5% of married men leave their wives to live with the woman they are having an affair with. Whether it is because of the financial and legal hassles of divorce, religious beliefs, the simple comfort of his family life, or the affection he still has for his wife, he will rarely take the plunge. Make no mistake (or rather, don’t tell yourself a story), whatever he tells you: he still has sex with his wife.
5. Legally, financially and emotionally you have no rights over him
It may be obvious to you that you are nothing legally or financially, but also remember that when this is over between you, no emotional bond or friendship of any kind will remain. Even if he’s been deeply in love with you, and even though he’s a good man, he is able to deal with the end of your relationship by excluding feelings entirely. Men are guided by practicality: they know that clinging to emotions can only harm their families, and they refuse to do so. When it’s over between you, he’ll move on.
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