Dating : Wedding Meets and Us!

Robert Bolt, an English Playwright once said, Good Marriages are Made in Heaven or Some Such Place. In India we can call that place Café Coffee Day. And I would love to ask Mr. Bolt, that if only good are made in heaven, where to go for the best or exemplary?

Pretty much the same, it starts of as a dream for every girl. Unlike guys, girls do start to plan their perfect wedding from the very day they attend the first ever wedding function. From that day onwards, this piece of life stays somewhere in the corner of their minds, time to time triggered by society which usually consists of all the Aunts, some Uncles, Nosy Neighbors, of course spearheaded by Mommy dearest. Mommy dearest’s intention is to get the best possible match for their baby daughter or son and all everyone else’s intention is to solve a fun puzzle, rate the Jodi. Food. Decoration. Possibly, pass an obvious comment — Sharmaji’s daughter would have paired better with him and move on to the next — Asset, Liability combination.

Ahh and the thrust! The very important part of an Indian wedding — Panditji. One of the essential and most influential person of this group. Let me tell you a trick, if you can get Panditji on your side, you can really have your dream wedding. Else, you will keep solving all the doshas (issues) in your kundali, you had no idea you had before and it would feel like you were actually living your life Ram Bharose (By God’s Grace). Fun fact, I am a believer and I appreciate astrology too.

But the whole point of having this marriage, “union of two souls”, “permanent roommate”, “till death do us part” crap is to lead a wonderful life. A mix of — a lot of happy, naughty, joyous and some of sad, challenging, and angry emotions. To have someone at the end of the day, when you are really tired cause the universe has beaten the heck out of you, that one person, whom you look at and you know, then and there, everything is going to be just Fine. Not Bad, Not Wonderful, Just Fine!

But in this whole who suits who, better than the best, perfect partner quest we, maybe unconsciously keep searching for the best trophy to boast. The Shinier The Better. I say unconsciously because I like to believe everyone has some good in them. And arrange marriages, are the worst of it all. Keeping aside the whole Love Marriages Fail (except if it is in your community) brag. Arrange marriages do really suck! Why?

· For starters, people have their bio-data printed as if they are applying for a job, which mentions all the good details and is considered a very strong base for a yes from the girl. And for guys, it’s even worse; they don’t even get the bio-data.

· Point 2 — It is a decision based on an amazingly short meet. Mommies go, wander in 15 different shops to find the perfect saree and come back home without any, but the decision to spend the rest of whatever 50/60 years left with a random dude is a 10 minutes task. The dude will have a random list of conditions, and he will be the final judge in most of the cases. And if you feel, its 21st century and where this all happens? Congratulations, either you are lucky or insanely dumb to have not identified such pahaha.

The flaws and my anger towards some or maybe all the arrangements can go on forever. People may have no idea the kind of pressure it creates for everyone, be it the guy or gal, even so more than the 2014 FIFA world cup where Mario Gotze scored 1 against Argentina in the extra time and Germany celebrated as champions. A flaw in you could break you in ways you never would have thought.

In this entire quandary, the sad part is we forget one thing, how sacred of a bond we are talking about. That it takes time to have the foundation of such, in-place. That time unravels all that is hidden beneath. It takes time to know one, to know if the person would be suitable for your life and not only to your status. If the person could make you laugh till your teardrops touch the ground. If he or she could add that extra spark to the stars in the sky or to your smile by just Being. If someone’s annoying habits could turn cute for you. And to know all this isn’t difficult at all. All you have to do is have a cup of coffee with them. Instead of trying to fit them in the box of your imagination, Listen. And Talk. Try to draw the real picture and see if you like it. Of course it’s your life and you should always seek what your heart ponders, but in the process you shall not miss to see someone who can preserve it till death do you two apart.

Cause in the end, you are gonna get old, and you would want to sit on that porch swing, singing your favorite song, all the memories of your life flashing by. And you would want to remember how hard you laughed with the love of your life!

And there, your marriage will be an exemplary one, the one made in Some Such Place you called Home!