Dating : I, THE MANIFESTATION

Well, come in I will show you my world. It’s not glittering as you might expect, it’s all sober in here with reality sweeping through every windows. You may not like what you see inside and I expect you to raise your brows for what you see. I have been in a cryo-sleep inside for long, that I never noticed what my world have turned out to be and vice-versa what it made me to be.

Well, here see this is my world. You see the less ventilation I have put myself in, it has made me suffocate sometime and relax some other time. For what it’s worth, it helped me to seclude from this ever vivid world. I don’t know whether I was trying to create my own world inside or if I was trying to run from the assumptions that linger outside this door. You know, all that is just a blur now. I just know it was just there behind me, reminding me of the trail I left behind or telling me sometimes what I was.

This hall is where I keep my special works, all that I scrape out of the world outside and all that I keep close to my heart. This is the place where I invite the friends, spending time with them, making memories and also where I spend my time alone. sometime wishing for a company to complete the canvas I am missing. This hall has many stories to tell, all that I hide with that door.

This door I tell you, is something I cherish sometime and something I dread other time. It’s probably another assumption of the world outside that I try to shut down with this door, or maybe it’s my own assumptions that I try to hold with this door. This door has hidden things in the hall, from the world that I didn’t want to see it and I have opened it to the world that I duly welcomed other time. As I see it, I think the door has been and remained closed most of the time than I guess it has been opened.

I am opening it for the first time to the world with no faces but just to my imagination. There are many postures and faces that I could feel inside me, who would want to see the hall and things inside. I am giving all of them a happy expression for my own selfish gloat. But I can’t be so assured of what each of you will find inside. And I can’t promise you if each one of you will find the same thing. I guess you will find the things that each one of you wanted to see or each one of you will find the things that your eyes are used with.

Come in, its time I show you the decorations on the wall. Well, some of these will tell you the situations that I have painted in my memories and I know some of these canvases will reflect yourself somewhere in the past, but I assure you it’s just your own fiction trying to relate and trying to find the connections. In some, you will find yourself a part of it and if you are then, you know *smiles*. It is there that’s all I will tell you.

I think I will stop with this hall and enter into my own private space, where I seclude out from everything and go into a slumber rather hibernation and it happen often a while. Sometime which I force onto my self and some time my circumstances forces me too, but in both I guess it’s my own thinking that let me to enter this room. This room, is where I sometime meddle with the special things, that I wished to place in hall. This is where I let loose myself every time and each time it happened I guess there is something beautiful that had happened, not all the time though.

The wall in this room is not decorated nor is it vibrant. It’s sober, it is where I hide my devil and I know if I made the walls vibrant and let the devil catch a glimpse of outer world through it, then it’s going to shake me in and out. I know it’s there and even now I hardly think you would see him. One reason you may not find him is coz you think you don’t have any devil chained back in your own room, that you don’t want to acknowledge him even though you see him or may be it is that I am good in deceiving you all, that you think he is not there.

I know this room is not going to reflect upon you nor is it going to tell you any stories coz it is where I let loose myself. This room is like a vacuum, which clean every of my sins and righteousness and leave me blank as I am when I leave. This room takes whatever I let loose, still I find it half empty when I come back. No words linger in this room more than I intend it to nor does any image which I let loose.

The walls, lights and everything about this room changes with time and I don’t really know how but it happens. The things you see now will not be the things which you will see after a while. This room, this private space of mine will tell you what I am outside that door. But looking inside you won’t see anything now because describing this room is not something I am good at till now. As for me, I think now this sober wall of this room defines me. Sober enough to imbibe everything that comes in and still not show a scratch or speckle of it.

Well, I think it’s about the room and the place I live in. I tell you it’s not for rent nor is it up for sale. Just that once in a while I like to invite some random guests and show them around and invite the suggestions about the room so I could alter the room. Not the shape, size and all but you know decorations, paintings and such.

I guess each one of you live in a space like this maybe there are exceptions and I am looking for that exceptions as well, so I could move in. so, I believe you liked the room and the things you saw and I will be pleased to know that each one of you have taken something from this room to decorate your own living spaces, feel free. And if you think you didn’t like what you saw then I have already showed you the door, but before you walk out I would like you to show the courtesy of telling me what it is. I might give it a thought and you know find the exception or may be to close the door for you.