Dating : We are expecting a large group of family and friends tonight.

First Love

We are expecting a large group of family and friends tonight. On the table for the food, we have set a white tablecloth — lace finished with cut-out embroidery — made in Spain. We only use it on special occasions. Dinner will be served for our guests, so we have small round dinner tables decorated with bouquets of white and blue hydrangeas. I am wearing a new black dress that makes my young figure look older and womanly. I don’t usually consider myself attractive, but this evening for the first time I’m wearing makeup and high heels. I feel beautiful.

My four-month-old brother is getting baptized today. No one asked him for permission; religion has been imposed on him as it has been imposed on the rest of the family. We feel proud of being faithful to our beliefs. That’s why we are celebrating with a lavish feast with delicious meats and dishes prepared following my grandmother’s recipes. I am looking forward to starting dinner. From the kitchen, small bites are coming along; cheese sticks rolled in a dough called “tequeños”. On a different table, we have various desserts. My favourite is cake soaked in condensed milk. A bar is set up in the garden, where people can go for a smoke and run away from the loud music and dancing.

It is the early 90’s and I am 15 years old, pretending that I’m older than I actually am. I don’t know it yet, but I am vibrant and have a stunning figure that any girl would dream to have. Finally, after all that waiting and mocking from my friends, my period came for the first time a few months ago. I am officially a woman, and I want to know all about it, although inside my mind I still feel like a child.

Every time the bell rings I am enthusiastically running to the door with my big smile to welcome each family member. I love the feeling of hugging everyone, in those moments I still feel like a little child who needs love and attention. Our gatherings are mostly around family events, and only a few friends who are like family attend.

Tonight a stranger is at my door, as the bell rings I open it and there he is. I know I will never forget this moment, or him, I know because it is the first time I feel this way. I am standing right in front of him trying to ask a question, words failing to come out. He is a young man along with the filming crew, holding the lights. He seems curious about me, he is probably 16 years old. The adult next to him makes the introductions, I know his name now. His colleague is asking me all kinds of questions. Since my young hormones are not allowing me to think clearly, I kindly respond, “I’ll get my mom, please wait here,” as my heart beats faster, sweat starts pouring from armpits.

We walk through the house, I am showing them where they could wait, I cannot stop looking at him, he is an introvert and that makes him more interesting for a young hungry girl like me. With a fast-paced clumsy walk through the corridor towards my mother, I am realising these high heels are hard work. She is finishing breastfeeding my brother in the reclining chair. I am practically dragging her out of the bedroom, asking all sorts of questions about these strangers that she has hired, as she walks slowly, constrained by her clothes, carrying her new sleepy bundle of love. My mother is still bulky from her pregnancy. She looks tired — probably thanks to all the effort she makes to keep everyone happy — but still beautiful. It was hard for me to understand why she is so attached to the baby. Over the last few months, it feels that she only has time for my little brother.

We are now approaching them, I know I am driving her crazy with all my questioning, I can see that she is a bit puzzled and curious — particularly about the purpose of this interrogation. Until she sees my Adonis leaning next to the kitchen door, hair falling on his face, with a timid smile. She immediately rolls her eyes at me and with a smirk gives me a look, which I clearly understand as “hold your horses, young lady”. I responded back with a mischievous look, quickly turning my head to meet his gaze with melting eyes.

He is unusually tall for a Venezuelan, he is wearing light classic Pepe jeans with a white shirt, two buttons opened. He has broad shoulders on a thin frame, large hands and neck, small honey eyes that match his glowing hair colour, fleshy pink lips and sun goldened skin. While his colleague is talking to my mother about logistics, the curious girl in me takes the chance to ask him all sorts of questions. My stomach feels jittery, I am not hungry anymore. I’ve never been in love, but I think I am now. Music and dancing starts and simultaneously so too does the filming. The night is magical — in my mother’s family everyone likes to make music, they play instruments and sing with passion, laughter and tears, l love it. My Adonis is there holding the lights for the cameraman, I feel his eyes are following me everywhere I go.

By the end of the night, we smile at each other and exchange telephone numbers. Love might not lead where I think it will, but at this moment — Gustavo is mine.