Dating : I’m a Christian Who Loves Porn and Masturbation

The Bible says it helps you love others

Some may be surprised to hear that the Bible not only addresses porn, but actually encourages it (I wonder how the larger Christian population feels about that?).

If I had read the sentence above a few years ago, I would have been outraged. “The Bible doesn’t say that!” I would have yelled. But now that I’m more enlightened and more loving, I realize the conservative Christian community has often misinterpreted the relevant biblical passages concerning the all-important subject of sexuality.

I firmly believe that the Bible not only permits but diligently encourages the regular use of pornography. I believe this for four reasons, one of which is philosophical while the other three are biblical. These reasons are the principle of hierarchical morality, the verses of Scripture which command sexual fulfillment, the principle taught in the Bible that we are to love one another, and the principle taught in the Bible that we are to serve one another without reservation and with good hearts.

How does pornography fit in with all of these?

It’s probable that you’ve never heard this term because it’s only really used in the most conservative Christian circles. Basically it means that life is full of many decisions that have moral components, and the action that requires the least amount of immorality or causes the least harm to others is the best and most righteous option.

It’s often said that any sexual conduct outside of heterosexual marriage is sinful (a dirty word to most Christians). In other words, all sexual activity that isn’t a man banging his own wife is a terrible deed. I’ll leave it to you to decide if you believe that or not.

However, even if I grant that only a married man and woman should have sex, the principle of hierarchical morality still demonstrates that pornography is a desirable option under certain circumstances.

Take the following scenario. Some people struggle so violently with the temptation to remain faithful to a significant other or spouse that they literally don’t know how to control the urges. Pornography offers a way to temporarily satisfy their sexual cravings while not betraying the person they love.

Surely it’s better for a person to relieve tension by pornography and preserve their faithful status than to go off and sleep with another person? The Bible tells us to avoid sexual immorality (Colossians 3:5). But if a person is predisposed to having a lack of self-control or feels forced to commit adultery, it is better to watch porn while preserving the relationship with the other person.

In this case, hierarchical morality gives approval to the lesser act (watching pornography) and provides a way to escape the worse act (infidelity).

Keep in mind that this is only for the people believe sex is reserved exclusively for marriage. For the rest of us, the following truths will be sufficient.

The Bible clearly and unashamedly commands everyone to enjoy themselves sexually and find great fulfillment in this area of life:

“Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. A loving deer, a graceful doe — let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever.” (Proverbs 5:18–19, CSB)

Some critics may point out that the verse tells us to take pleasure in the wife of our young age. But we must remember that in its historical context people from that day and time often spoke from a masculine perspective and almost never wrote about sexual activities outside of marriage. We need not interpret this text with strict adherence to its history as long as the central message is communicated.

In other words, the command applies to more than just a husband relating to his wife. The verse clearly speaks to each person today with the message that all people should pursue sexual pleasure.

Let’s look at another piece of Scripture:

“Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that graze among the lilies.” (Song of Solomon 4:5, CSB)

In this quote, the writer is using poetic expression to communicate how he feels about his woman. Keep in mind that there is no indication the woman being talked about here is married to the man. But something it does tell us is the Bible is good with us appreciating the beauty of people, including their naked breasts (or penis if you’re a woman).

“Above all put on love.” (Colossians 3:14, ESV)

This teaching of the sacred Scriptures is often repeated, but seldom understood or practiced. What many fail to realize is that you can’t choose your own way to love someone, but must love them as they are. I used to be one of the Christians who hated gays and condemned the filthy sinners who lusted after porn stars.

But I have since realized that porn actually helps me love others for who they are and appreciate them as they come (the pun may be intended).

Porn offers a perspective that invites everyone to look at people in a vulnerable state and cherish them for what they, in their natural beauty, can bring to the world. Whether it’s delight, pleasure, a new way of viewing sexuality, contentment, happiness, or something else, porn helps us appreciate people better.

When we watch porn, we are a piece of God’s creation admiring and pursuing the full display of another piece of God’s creation. Porn teaches us that we all have basic desires and interests, and that we all are simply humans who want to be loved.

The soft hair, the graceful necks, the beautiful breasts, the shaking legs. They are all parts (equally beautiful on everyone) that make up a great whole: the body of a person who should be loved.

This is perhaps where porn and the Bible agree with each other the most. Listen to what it says:

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others as more significant as yourselves. Let each of you look not only to your interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4, ESV)

I know some are thinking that the porn industry has been a terrible criminal in the abuse of women. I agree in many cases. But that’s not always the case, and I think porn, like other tools and media, can be used for good as well as evil.

For good, porn can show us how to love others and put their needs first. Sex is best when it seeks the good of the other person involved. I affirm that sex and porn are not great when a person only uses them for selfish gain. Selfishness is the opposite of love.

But if we view it from a certain angle, porn can help us meet the sexual needs of others, or at least understand them better. I had an experience with this recently with my own girlfriend (who shall remain unnamed for her own privacy).

She was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with our sex life and I didn’t know what to do about it. I hated that she wasn’t happy, and it took my sexual drive away. As it turns out, we watched a porn video together as a trial to see if it would help us, and she ended up sharing all of the fantasies she had. She was only able to share after watching it on screen and realizing her desires weren’t as insane as she perviously believed.

Porn helped her get to a place where she could share her deep desires with me, and it enabled me to better serve her and put her needs first. Porn was the tool that we used to build a stronger and happier relationship. I’m sure if you give it a chance, you will be able to say the same.

With these things in mind, I encourage you to sit down by yourself or with your significant other, keep the lights dim, put on a good porn video, and learn how to love others better by appreciating their inherent beauty and worth.

Feel free to jerk off when you do it. God won’t be angry with you.