h2>Dating : Ready, Set, Orgasm…
“If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
I’ve been reading more since the Quarantine/Social Distancing era has begun. I started by reading, The Jordan Rules, by Sam Smith, and currently reading, America’s Mistress (The Life and Times of Eartha Kitt). My wife and I have also been having more and more sex during the pandemic. Some might Romanticize the idea of being quarantined with their lover for months on a tree-lined street in Brooklyn. But honestly I’ve struggled with performing the same moves over and over again at a high level with diminishing results.
So what do you do when your “Between the Legs Double Pump” slam doesn’t exxxcite anymore? My audience of one who I sometimes call, My Favorite Mistress, had begun to wonder if she’d ever experience a “Championship” again. I too began questioning if I had the tools to get the job done. Searching for answers while eating a pint of vegan ice cream, I SCOURED the internet! There were thousands of videos just one click away that could help my situation, but hurt my computer. A few hundred more searches led me to a self-published book by my best friend, Big Cup. I had NO F_ _Kn idea that he had actually written a book. He’d been using the line, “I’m a published author!” to win friends and pick up women for years. But I was unaware that, “Ready, Set, Orgasm; A Man’s Guide To Her Satisfaction”, had existed.
“Amazon Prime! Amazon Prime! Is right on time! Ha hahaha” is what I was rappin’ (in my Curtis Blow voice). I ordered the book without mentioning it to anyone. And on a rainy June day I began reading a “How to” book that would either help me, or embarrass my friend. I ripped open the package and was surprised to find a 300 plus page book about ORGASMS. WTF!!! I thought there would be a step by step 20-25 page guide I could use to help my wife reach the mountain top nightly. But now it seems like I’ll need to take a week off to learn what I thought I already knew. And learn from a guy who is single and lives with his mother. (Where are my barbecue potato chips?) Hmmm… Ready, Set, Orgasm!
(Excerpt of the book below)
Chapter 1: Do you know what an ORGASM is?
“If boys don’t learn, Men won’t know.” — Douglas Wilson
Many men across the globe are alike. We like beer, sports, twinkies, porn sites, and barbecue potato chips. Men lie about their height, how much money they make, and how many women they’ve slept with. There is one other thing that men tend to lie about. And no it’s not the size of their penis. Men often lie about pleasing their woman. On average a woman has fewer orgasms per month than the number of Powerball Winners in the State of New York for an entire year. What are men doing wrong? Their first mistake is that they just don’t care about her needs. Also, they don’t know the secret to making her orgasm in two minutes (I cover that in my second book, TWO MINUTE ORGASMS. Available on amazon for $49.95). Ok ask yourself, “Do you know what an Orgasm is?” For a full definition, call 212–222–7888 to speak to a sexpert (Business hours daily — Noon-8pm (EST).
Wow! This book is AMAZING! An orgasm in two minutes? I need that book now!!!
(To Be Continued)
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