POF : Not sure what happened
I am a 43 yr old woman back on the dating scene after a 15 year marriage. I joined POF not knowing what I was doing and was very naive. Anyway, a 38 yr. old man msg’d me and we chatted for 2 months before meeting. This was the 2nd guy I talked to from a dating site for an extended period of time. Anyway, I found him very attractive and in his profile it said he was strictly into older women. He lives an hour from me, so distance was a problem. We sent numerous, risque pics to each other. He said he was in love me with even though we had never met. He also said things like I’m all he wants and what he’s been looking for (never married, no kids), that I’m perfect, etc. We talked on a daily basis, and he would msg me in the morning saying things like ‘Morning beautiful, hope you have a great day.’ So we finally met, and it was quick since he needed to get back to work. It was passionate, and in a public place. After he left he said thanks for meeting me and he can’t wait to see me again and that next time we’ll go somewhere for longer. He didn’t mention ‘love’ again after that, but he did say more than once that I’m all he wants and he can’t wait to see me again. Then, one day he just stopped texting me. I have no idea what happened. I’m still devastated from it since I really felt like I loved him. Does anyone have any idea what happened?
By. Clare9596
What does your gut tell you? It is usually right, and we realise too late we have been ignoring it and the red flags because we hope they are wrong. From my experience, when a man abruptly ceases conversation it is because he has found something shiny and new, or he is married and his conscience (or his wife) has caught up with him.
Without knowing exactly what went on between the two of you, or what was discussed, it’s difficult to really know. If it were me (and it has been. You are in no way alone. We are good enough!!!), I would do some digging around. Use google’s reverse image search on his profile pics and any he sent you. Most everyone has social media these days. See what you can find on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and even someone’s YouTube account can tell you something about them. Search for his phone number and email address, too, if you have it.
Search BMD records to see if he was lying about his age or being married.
I hope you find some peace soon. It will take less time to find it than it takes to find an honest man on POF…
My friend, You can’t love anyone so early.
Love is a bond that is built from challenges both you and your partner failed and succeeded. its the appreciation the partner has for you. How they drive you to do better. The way your drive them to push to their limits to meet their goals. To motivate and just to enjoy each others company. Its a subjective topic that has several definitions, but the most consistency all definitions have is the respected bond both you and your partner have for each other.
Its impossible to know whats going through his mind. Whats happening in his life that resulted in this behaviour; however, its clear that something happened at that date. Was he expected something out of you? Maybe there was a change in atmosphere that you can never detect or realized until meeting someone in person. Maybe a little pet peeve was hit. Considering he had to go to work quickly, I would assume that was his « getaway » but it looks like he had a personal test and you may not have been what he was looking for. Its impossible to tell, but based on his behaviour, something at that date changed things.
sounds like he love bombed your pants off and when he got what he wanted he peaced out.
remember the old addage of if its too good to be true, it is. the love bombing was the big one. the passionate first meetup again a red flag. sorry it had to happen you, but trust no one online, even us.
> He said he was in love me with even though we had never met.
There are so many red flags in your story I have alarm bells ringing in my head. You might want to enlist one of your girlfriends as a wing girl to help you avoid more dating disasters. If you told this to a friend, they would tell you « This guy is just telling you what he thinks you want to hear so he can get in your pants. » Be wary of the man that professes his love to you so quickly.
Age old wisdom: Men use love to get sex, and women use sex to get love (and other things.)