Dating : What Produces Or Destroys Passion In Marriage And Relationships

What really keeps a couple together? In the beginning there is chemistry and attraction. Often proximity is the key, you fall in love with someone close to you in your inner circle.

But what keeps it going, what builds excitement and gives you a charge when you see your spouse, or what takes the passion away? One word, polarity.

As Tony Robbins shares, it is the things you have in common that bring you together, it is the differences that make for passion. More specifically, it is the difference between masculine and feminine energy that creates the most passion. (David Deida’s Way of the Superior Man broke new ground in this study. His work has been expanded on by Eban Pagan and Anthony Robbins.)

Essentially there has to be a dance between masculine and feminine energy for there to be attraction and passion. Let’s define this specifically.

First, this does not mean male and female. We all have masculine and feminine energy. The key is you and your spouse can’t have the same energy at the same time and still have passion. Consider the following.

Maybe you as a woman are in charge at work and you lead your employees with decisiveness. This may be necessary at work, but this is masculine energy.

Masculine energy is focused, goal oriented and driven. If you have this same energy with your husband he will pull away and not feel attraction.

Let’s go the other direction. If you as a man don’t make decisions, if you don’t step up and learn to solve problems, if you have emotional highs and lows, or if you are the proverbial ‘mommas boy’ then your wife will lose attraction because you are operating from feminine energy.

If attraction is gone it is because polarity is gone, period. This is not about cultural roles and traditional definitions of husband and wife. Men can be stay at home dads and women can be the president of the company. What it is about is where you consistently operate from.

Above all women want a man they can trust. Intuitively she trusts a man with masculine energy who can protect her and romantically move her. Men want a woman they are attracted to, i.e. one who is sensual and gives off feminine energy.

A lack of love does not destroy a relationship, a lack of intimacy does. Remember, no polarity, no intimacy.

Does your wife ask you, ‘Which pair of shoes should I wear?’ She is testing your masculinity, your decisiveness. Telling her, ‘You decide’ or ‘Either one, it doesn’t matter’ and you just failed the test. Decide, give her a decision, she wants you to show up and lead.

Here is a simple question. Why are men turned off by a masculine woman? This has nothing to do with heterosexuality. The answer is polarity; there is no feminine energy there, regardless of sexual orientation.

Think about a magnet. The two polarities attract, the same ones repel. Relationships operate in a very similar manner. If you have lost intimacy, you have lost polarity, which means there is no longer any attraction.

The good news is you can change this in a moment. Simply pay attention to where you a are operating from, and make the necessary changes.