Dating : #2: Talking about love

My second post on here yay! I did not expect I can make it this far. Writing whenever my situations allow me is a better idea than whenever I feel in the mood.

Today, let’s talk about an epic topic: Love. It is so large that I better split the writings into a saga. This episode, let’s talk about choosing someone to have a relationship with.

In recent weeks, I have been watching a Korean series with my girls: “The world of the married”, which is a version of a British movie. The movie talks about men cheating on their wives. The content is quite far from my point here, to choose someone to love and be loved. However, it occurs several big thoughts in my mind: How do someone chooses their partner, girlfriend/ boyfriend?

Let’s start from this level first: criteria. A girl may just choose a guy based on her checklist: Rich, handsome, over 6 feet something, Taurus, Ivy league education, countryside upbringing, playing basketball, etc. A guy may just choose a girl based on his mirror of desires: Fit, brunette, nice butt or boobs, wearing stocking, tattoo, etc It is never about who someone is. Another way of choosing a love partner is the family upbringing issue. A girl may choose a guy because he is the reflection of her problematic parent and she wants to fix it. Someone may choose their love with the shade of pity, of having their ego stroked that the other person will see how amazing it is to have them and never being left and valued. There are a ton of other ways people choose their partners.

Love is intense. Love is love, and love is also hatred. Love is about adding extra happiness and getting hurt deeper at the same time. A good relationship can be the double powerful boost to your life quality, of being two is better than one. A bad relationship can be half of your life before it, of draining your energy and losing your happier previous self.

I once read somewhere, it said that as long as a girl is beautiful, whatever her personality is fine for a guy, being friendly, kind, etc is an “also great » not a must. That’s being said, playing game or keeping a cool head is important in dating. I know, how wonderful it is to fall for someone, being high in love without giving a thought about it. However, it is probably like molly, you are high today and so down later. You had sex like crazy with your guy for days then never hear from him later. Women do so to be away from being hurt, used, and having higher quality in relationships. Not being hurt, used, played, fooled, lied to, etc are the basic starting marks. I did not understand why they matter, until I found out that from them, a man will value a woman more. Being honest with her, treating her with respect because he values her. Once a man values you, he gets to know who you are and whatever you need to know and whatever matters to you. When he is surrounded by beautiful models in the bar and still tells them: Sorry I got to see my wife/girlfriend later. A man values you and considers you important will feel guilty making you sad and do things to make you happy with his will.

When I was more little, about 13 14 something, watching movies when a guy cheated on his wife, she figured out and confronted him. I still wondered why she had to confront him then led to uncomfortable conversations and fights and broken. She could just pretend nothing happen and he would leave the other woman when he got bored or realized the wife was more important to continue their marriage. I was wondering what was the point of letting guys know you not stupid and stop lying. Passing lies were fine and it would go okay and there was no need to tell the whole painful truth. How naive and optimistic me 13 years old was. When a guy lies and hides you the truth, he thinks he can fool you, do whatever his dick wants. When you tolerate the truth, pretend nothing happened without making the guy feels guilty, you are letting him know that whatever he does, you are still with him and accept being treated poorly, of not being respected. When a guy does not respect you, treats you poorly, he does things make you feel sad, annoyed, etc without feeling responsible for it.

How guilt makes guys feel? What’s the problem with fucking many beautiful girls and having a wife at home with or without acknowledging he is doing a terrible thing? Coward is the first word pops up in my mind. You cannot live without a woman but unable to commit to her. You don’t feel strong, you feel miserable, you feel you cannot have anything without having that woman in your life, etc Why saying no to other beautiful girls once you had your only one woman is the sign of being a strong and real man and not a coward? I better let men answer that.

Let’s come back to the choosing a partner. You better look for someone to double your already good life, not to complete or fill in. Cookies and cream are good with good cookies and good cream. To build, not to fix. You don’t have to be perfect to be in a relationship, but you have to be happy first. So you know what you want and don’t want. So you you know how you want to be treated, rather than accept being treated poorly and less than you deserve.