Dating : 6 Necessities for a Single Man’s Bachelor Pad

I’ve been single for about a year and a half.

After my last relationship, I decided I would focus on improving myself. I decided that I was more interested in creating for my future than inviting someone else along for that journey.

However, I’m still going on dates — not intending to find a partner but to meet new people and share fun experiences.

I’m transparent about my situation, so the girls I date know that I’m not looking for anything serious. And because of that transparency, I’ve been able to have amazing conversations with women about dating that would not be possible had there been anticipation or expectation of a love interest.

In particular, I’ve learned a few things about the simple differentiators between amazing single men from regular boys. These differentiators will help make women feel more comfortable in your space, but they’ll also make you appear professional and put-together, which is an attractive quality.

So, here are six necessities for every single man’s bachelor pad.

There’s an episode of Friends where Ross goes back to a girl’s apartment. Only for his excitement to turn into pure horror as he finds himself sitting on top of old takeout containers and newspapers. The apartment is less of an apartment and more of a garbage dump.

Don’t be like that girl. Keep your apartment clean.

Your apartment should be tidy. It should be inviting. The couch should be clear of clothes, the tables cleared of clutter, and the kitchen counters free of food scraps.

It doesn’t need to be American Psycho clean, but you can’t have anything brown caked to the side of the toilet bowl.

That’s not a good look.

You want to make your guest feel comfortable in your space. They should feel relaxed and cozy. Inviting them into a clean apartment is a simple way to put them at ease.

Commit to keeping your apartment tidy. The easiest way to simplify the cleaning process is not to make a mess — prevention is the best cure. My apartment is consistently a 7/10 on the clean scale, and it rarely dips under that number. Fold your clothes. Put the dishes into the dishwasher. Clean up old plates and cups. Make your bed.

Understandably, the apartment gets out of order sometimes. And you may have a guest on the way. So, if you need to clean your apartment quickly, focus on the things that make the biggest impact on the appearance of a clean space while taking the least amount of time.

Clean the toilet bowl. A crystally white toilet bowl is a definite must. Your guest will use the bathroom at some point, and you need that space looking fresh.

Tidy up the bathroom. Again, your guest will be in the bathroom, so make sure the area is tidy. Wipe up any toothpaste stains in the sink, take a damp piece of toilet paper, wipe down the counters, and Windex the mirror.

Declutter the open areas. I tend to leave little things around my apartment, like chargers, supplements, notebooks, etc. If I need to tidy everything up quickly, I throw everything into my aptly named disaster drawer, which is simply the deepest drawer in my kitchen that remains mostly unused except during tornado-like cleaning situations.

Organize the entrance. First impressions are everything, so make sure the entrance to your apartment looks nice. Shoes should be in the closet. Vacuum any dirt off of the floor. Take some jackets off the coat hanger and hang them in the closet.

Finally, re-clutter strategically. If you’re super pressed for time, and your apartment still looks messy, add strategic clutter. Take a few books, scatter them on the coffee table, throw one on the bed, and put one on the kitchen counter. Put your laptop on the table. Take your favourite hoodie and drape it over the couch. If you can’t clean the mess, at least make the mess look good.

There’s nothing more embarrassing than having to wake up your parents because you started peeing, thinking you were in the bathroom only to wake up from the dream and realize you let loose in the bed.

And there’s nothing more uncomfortable than trying to fall asleep on a scratchy beach-towel-turned-pee-patch because your parents decided that a 2-hour washer and dryer cycle would be too much work at 3:30 in the morning.

Needless to say, an extra set of bedsheets would’ve been nice as a kid.

Now, I don’t drain the pipes in bed anymore, but there are still a lot of things that can make a mess of your bedsheets. And it isn’t just limited to the ensuing liquids of bedroom cardio.

You might order some food and cuddle up on the bed. I can’t remember the number of times I’ve changed the duvet cover after a pizza and movie date… crumbs are a bi**h. Or, picking up a piece of chicken with my chopsticks, only to drop it back into the dish, splattering sweet and sour sauce all over the sheets.

Or, it could be the case of an unanticipated accident.

I won’t get into the details, but essentially, the situation involved some blood stains from mother nature’s monthly check-in.

Now, I can’t imagine how awkward I would feel if something like that happened to me. Yes, it’s a natural thing, and we shouldn’t be making a big deal of it. But farting is natural too, and we’re not lifting and tooting a couple of dates into meeting someone new.

So I stand by my statement. It’s an awkward situation. And it would’ve been even more awkward if there wasn’t a remedy to the problem.

After making sure everything was alright with her, I stripped the bed, threw the sheets in the laundry, grabbed a fresh set from the close, and was finished making the bed and ready to go back to sleep by the time she had gotten her feminine hygiene stuff from her purse and cleaned up in the bathroom.

I firmly believe everyone should have two sets of bedsheets. It’s often an overlooked necessity — until luck would have it, you desperately need an extra set immediately.

I’ve received a lot of compliments about my underwear. And since it’s such a basic piece of clothing, a woman noticing and commenting on my underwear stands out as an opportunity to impress without trying too hard.

Based on my qualitative research and analysis, I’ve identified two key principles for good underwear.

First, the underwear needs to fit the contours of your body. That means no more baggy boxers — you can sleep in boxers, but don’t wear them if you expect to be taking off your pants in front of someone else.

An ideal pair of underwear should be snug around the waist, the thighs, and the butt. Everyone, no matter gender or sexual preference, can appreciate a good butt. So if you have the goods, make sure you wear underwear that accentuates your booty.

The front area should be slightly looser to allow the boys some room to relax — but not too loose so that the area sags. In the past few years, men’s underwear has been the subject of massive technological and functional innovation in the realm of frontal comfort. Try looking for underwear with a front pouch or ball hammock. I guarantee this small change to be life-changing.

The second principle of good underwear is colour. There should be a maximum of two colours — a base colour, and black or white. In the context of underwear colour, keeping it simple is always better.

Few men can rock tie-dye underwear, underwear with really bold designs, or underwear with an entire colour palette. More often than not, it comes across as unprofessional or juvenile. No one wants to pull off underwear that could’ve easily been found in a clown’s wardrobe or worn by a teen who spent all of his vacation money at the M&M store buying brightly coloured underwear.

Personally, I prefer boxer briefs with a four to six-inch inseam. I only wear underwear with a solid base colour and no designs, except for a pair of Ralph Lauren’s with the logo pattern. I stick to dark base colours — black, navy, blue, and burgundy.

A few of my favourite brands are…

• Uniqlo: Uniqlo’s AIRism boxer briefs are comfortable and affordable. They’re a solid choice — nothing special about this underwear.
• BN3TH: My favourite underwear by far. They’re a little more expensive, but you definitely get what you pay for in this case. The material feels amazing. The fit is tight around the butt and looser around the front.
• Mack Weldon: Mack Weldon’s AIRKNITx line is right in between Uniqlo and BN3TH. I love the material, and the fit is decent. They’re also slightly more fashionable — there’s a block of text on the right leg that is subtle but adds a technological aesthetic to the underwear.

Whatever brand you choose, remember the two principles of good-looking underwear — make sure they’re fitted and keep it simple.

Most of my guy friends have a bizarre collection of cutlery and dishware. Their cupboards look like they raided a mix-and-match sale at the local flea market.

Some bowls are round, and some are squared with rounded edges. Each plate is a different size making the stack of plates look like the dishware version of Matryoshka nesting dolls. Some cups are clear, and others are coloured — some made of plastic, others made of glass. And the cutlery…yikes.

There’s a psychologist named Frederick Herzberg, who had a theory of workplace motivation. His theory suggested two factors, hygiene factors and motivators. Hygiene factors don’t motivate, but in their absence, they detract from motivation. An example would be safe working conditions. Workplaces are safe and don’t make you more motivated to do work, but it would reduce your motivation if safety were an issue.

On the other hand, motivators are things that employers can offer employees to increase their motivation — things like recognition or promotions.

One of my favourite ideas for a date is to cook together. But it definitely wouldn’t possess the same appeal if my cutlery drawer looked like it belonged in a steampunk museum.

Matching cutlery and dishware is like a hygiene factor. It won’t make you stand out, but it makes you appear less put-together in its absence. A boy would think plastic cups and mismatching plates are acceptable — not a man.

It’s doesn’t require a big investment, either.

For less than $50 and the cost of gas to drive to Ikea, you could be the proud owner of a full set of matching cutlery and dishware.

I would say the only exception to the rule is coffee mugs and beer steins. It’s acceptable to have an assorted collection of mugs and steins if they’re souvenirs from places you’ve travelled, swag from a conference or a course, or just funny gifts from friends.

At some point, you’ll have someone come over and stay the night. Odds are they won’t have their toiletry bag with them.

Here are some benefits of having extra toothbrushes on hand.

1. Like everyone else, I enjoy giving and receiving a little downtown action. However, after said actions have been enjoyed, I prefer to continue through the rest of the evening with a clean mouth. And I prefer it if my partner’s mouth is clean too. So extra toothbrushes are representative of proactively planning for success.
2. Morning breath smells awful.
3. It’s an overlooked consideration that will make you stand out as a great host. The little things count — and this is one of those little things.

I buy the 10-piece pack of bamboo toothbrushes off of Amazon for $10.99. I choose the biodegradable option over typical Colgate or Oral-B stuff because, realistically, toothbrush turnover will be high, and we’re not trying to pollute the ocean with extra plastic.

Be a good host — cover the necessities.

I used to be the type of guy who used rolls of toilet paper instead of tissue and washed my hands with dish soap in the kitchen and body wash in the bathroom sink.

Going back to Herzberg’s theory of motivation, hand soap and 3-ply ultra-soft facial tissues are literal hygiene factors that parallel Herzberg’s hygiene factors. If someone asks you for tissue to blow their nose and you hand them a roll of toilet paper, it’s not a great look.

In my experience, most guys don’t really care about the process if the result is the same. What’s the difference between washing your hands with Old Spice body wash versus antibacterial hand soap? Clean hands are clean hands. Guys aren’t as conscious or concerned about the particulars.

The day I switched to hand soap was the day my hand skin stopped cracking and peeling. And the day I switched to facial tissue was the day the redness around my nose disappeared.

So if you’re a guy who’s still trying to maximize the utility out of every household product, at least change the soap and tissue options.

Even if you’re still using the 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, spare your guests and buy some proper hand soap with aloe vera and soft facial tissue.

Hopefully, you’ve learned something from this article and will apply the tips in your life. Or, at the very least, you enjoyed my weird sense of humour.

But, for those that scroll to the end for the TLDR summary, here it is:

1. A clean apartment (15 min/day)
2. An extra set of bedsheets ($40)
3. Plain, fitted underwear (~$25/pair)
4. Matching cutlery and dishware ($50)
5. Extra toothbrushes ($11)
6. Proper hand soap and facial tissue ($10)