Dating : A 19th Century Lady’s Guide To Casual Courtship With A Gentleman

Because Netflix and Chill is still over 100 years away

Tea and See

Afternoon tea with a gentleman is always watched over by a disapproving auntie on the lookout for any whiff of impropriety. Still, using only expressive eyes, a couple can have an entire conversation while seemingly talking about the weather or the House of Lords.

Compliment Dress and Decompress

Any member of the upper class spends an exorbitant amount of time picking out custom-made garments. Therefore it is not seen as too forward to compliment a gentleman’s cravat or remark on how flattering the cut of his pants are.

As a result you can actually breath a little and not worry about ruining your reputation by insinuating that you’ve noticed a man’s buttocks (and are quite pleased by it).

Dance and Take a Chance

A waltz? Yes please! On the crowded dance floor, while moving too fast for observant elders to clearly see, a gentle squeeze of your partner’s arm, while he holds you a little closer than necessary, is all in good fun. As long as both parties are into it. Otherwise a sharp slap with a fan will put unwanted familiarity in its place.

Fan and Faint

Fans are well known for being used for flirtations. But they can pass more complex codes. Design a signal for your gentleman so he knows to come into your general vicinity. Then, once he is close, act like you are trying to catch your breath, as if your corset is too tight. Who are we fooling? They’re always too tight.

Pretend to succumb to your feminine weakness and faint. Then he can catch you. Feel the thrill as he holds you to his chest for the brief journey to the nearest settee. It’s worth the smelling salts, I promise.

Promenade and Poke

Walking along the socially acceptable public avenues and pathways, you casually stroll beneath your parasol enjoying the lovely day. When you laugh at one of his (hopefully funny) jokes, poke him lightly with the end or your parasol.

But for goodness sake, refrain from using your hand. Should anyone see, you will be asked about wedding bells by dinner. There’s no need to put a label on what you two have yet.

Carriage and Joke about Marriage

Once you know a gentleman well enough you might be allowed to ride in his carriage on Saturdays. Be chill and don’t show how into him you are. Make casual jokes about recently married couples and how terrible you two would be in such a union. But keep the jokes light-hearted. You don’t want to scare him off by being clingy.