Dating : A Body Haunted

Poetry Sunday

I am a haunted house
well worn and well loved
with thinning skin over curves
from years of passing hands
my neck
a soft oily hand rail
where all my lovers have come
and some gone
over the threadbare carpet
“It has character” they say
“a charming place to settle down”
until the pipes start to leak

I walk through narrow downtown streets
with your specter clung to me
no one saw
how I reached through your chest
to hand $2 to the man with a crooked cigarette
hanging loose between his lips

No one knew
how desperate I felt
to look through your eyes
out into the inner harbor
and watch the trash make tiny islands
in the water

I pace through my childhood home⁣
with a condition I think no one can see⁣
a silent possession
your memory ⁣
I’ve told myself to let it go ⁣
and convinced myself that I had ⁣
until I go to sleep ⁣
and you visit me there
a few times a week
⁣
On those late mornings ⁣
I wake up lost between dreams⁣
because I swear my body was just leaning towards you ⁣
and your jean blue eyes were just undressing me⁣
while the wrinkles at the corner of your smiling mouth said ⁣
that you’ve been trying to find your way back ⁣
and that’s why in my dreams you’re always swimming across the ocean⁣
and you seem happy but unsurprised that I waited for you⁣
treading the midnight colored water at the base of my skull ⁣
⁣
This is where I live ⁣
in the dissonance of a waking life where all traces of you ⁣
are hidden in plain sight ⁣
and a secret world that opens its doors only when I close my eyes ⁣
where every piece of you I hold onto⁣
is preserved in painful detail⁣
⁣
I am a body haunted ⁣
I have a condition I think no one can see ⁣