Dating : AS MUCH AS I LOVED HIM I KNEW I HAD TO LET HIM GO.

AS MUCH AS I LOVED HIM I KNEW I HAD TO LET HIM GO.

He loved me and i loved him thats all i knew .His confidence and toughness is what drew me to him he didnt care what people thought of him He knew his issues and problems but wasnt going let anybody tell him what he already knew .He wasnt perfect but who was .He was the black sheep of the family and even though people seen him as a fuck up and as much as he was stubborn, i loved him..he showed me a side of him he never showed anyone else..he trusted me and wasnt afraid to let me know the real himI loved The way he made himself vulnerable to me and only me .That feeling of being so special to someonethat muchmeant so much to me .He showed me the person he wanted to be and the person he could beBut in life there are struggles that can stop us from moving forward in lifeAnd as much as we want to change and overcome those obstacles it isnt easy.for him it was drugs and not letting go of his past mistakesfor others it might be the type of lifestyle their used to in order to surviveor a past trauma they cant overcomeor even having a mental disorder they refuse to seek help for…these type of obstacles take soo much will power and determination to overcomeAnd the hardest thing they have to face in order to be able to combat this obstacle is themselfsand sometimes that battle wont happen until they make a lifechanging mistake or they hit rock bottom ..and as much as i loved him i didnt want to see him there because i knew i would be right there with himand as much as i tried to take it one step at a time it was like taking one step forward but then two steps backi knew i was hurting myself and holding myself back. By loving him i wasnt loving myself.and Tell mewhats more wrongnot loving himor not loving myself..and as much as i wanted to keep fighting for us i couldnt fight aloneand had to realize that there was a difference betweennot being able to get me what i wantedto not being able to get me what i needed .And i deserved more than thatand knowing he wasnt going to make it easy because i knew him and i knew myselfi knew the only way i could do this was getting as far away as i couldi knew putting distance would stop me from wanting to come back even if i wanted to .And if i told you after that moment it was easy i would be lying leaving him was one of the hardest things i did for myself. I cried for a long time and the depression i went thru affected me mentality and physicallybut i will never regret the decision i madebecause i knew it was the right oneand i know for a fact if i would of stayedi would of been exactly in the same spot i was years agobut leaving i learned to love myself and to never settle and always want moredont let anyone hold you backAs much as i loved him i knew i had to let him go .