h2>Dating : Excuse me? Have you been tested?
Zoom. WebEx. Facetime. Nothing replaces a good, old, face-to-face date. Live & in person. The real thing. But, in this new era, we all have to adapt.
I’ve hosted 1,000s of web meetings & am an expert. Lucky me. Cams on. It’s an art form &, at times, a technical fiasco. That’s code for a “challenge.” So, if you want to succeed, in Zoom dating, here are some of the best tips from a pro.
If you are gonna do it, do it right. & Do it the best.
What does your background look like? Turn around and take a look.
- Is your room a mess?
- Dirty dishes visible in the sink?
- Your roommate running around in the buff? Yes, it’s happened to me. Hello!
If so, clean up in advance. Don’t turn on your cam until everything is in place.
Shuttererstock is offering a set of free virtual backgrounds for your Zoom meetings. 👍🏻
Some of the rooms in our home are so well lit, we could likely perform surgery in them. You don’t always want that on a video call.
Fire up a test meeting 15 minutes in advance & check the lighting. Adjust them as necessary. Turn some on & others off. Check the dimmers. Adjust the drapes.
Top Down! Bottoms Up!
I have top down bottoms up shades (boy, that sounds like the making of a great date right there!) in my office. That means I can raise or lower the shade from the top and/or the bottom. Haha. I’m constantly adjusting them before & even during, a Zoom meeting. Don’t be shy about this. It’s your life. Bring it!
You only have one chance to make a good first impression.
When I was single, in the olden days, there were no dating Apps. I was on 2 sites, though. One of them had the most flattering camera for me. I’ve never been able to replicate it. I used to turn it on & stare at myself & think…damn, I look good! I admit that I was somewhat addicted to the chatroom on that site. I used to get ready to see my boyfriend (yeah…he never got off line, so I stayed online too…that’s another story).
He lived in LA. I used to fly to see him & he’d drive up to see me. Due to traffic, I never really knew his ETA. I’d get ready & then hang out till he’d arrive. I’d put on the cam on that chatroom. People would often say in awe, “You look like that to go out?” I’m like, “Yeah…how do you look when you go out?”
Maybe that’s why I was the one who had a date. So, absolutely. If you want to rock it at Zoom dating, you’ve got to make sure you look good. Guys, too. I know of several guys that have already blown it. The women no longer want to meet them after the first video impression.
No Wrinkles. Shirts, too.
This is so important. Especially, if you are older. They have media Awards in Cinematography for a reason. I adjust my laptop, iPad or iPhone on books. I have these enormous text books from my daughter’s art history & calculous classes…reuse/recycle, who knew? Or boxes. Your date isn’t going to see your crazy configuration. Your camera needs to be at the level of your face, not down on a table, if you want to look foxy.
Don’t start your Zoom date at the top of the hour 🕛. Start your meeting on the ¼ hour ⏰(ie 7:15pm) or ¾ (7:45pm).
Why? Bandwidth. Every knucklehead starts their meeting on the hour. You are competing with half the planet. Want better quality? Start a little off the clock for better results. 😉
I had a few video meetings on Saturday. I also had to meet with an arborist for some mandatory tree work required by the City. Yes, it’s actually legal at this time, although, we did meet using social distancing. So, begrudgingly, I put on all the lighting & did my makeup. Eye liner, the whole 9-yards. I met with the arborist. His mouth dropped. I’m like “What?” He knows me. He’s seen me many times. He’s like, “Wow! You are so pretty. You look so good!” I told him that I had to go do hours of video calls. Which I preceded to do.
It’s just like dating. Don’t overshare. Don’t go on and on (guilty, I know). The good news is that the free version of Zoom has a hard stop after 40 minutes, anyway. Unless you fire up another back-to-back meeting. Say, you have an early meeting. Don’t overplay your hand.
It’s our understanding that more porn is stored on the Zoom platform than any other content. It’s truly a testament to Zoom, due to the quality & ease of use.
Sexting/video sex is fine & great if you know the person IRL & already have a physical sexual relationship. But, if you’ve never met in person, you don’t really know them. You’ve never touched them. You’ve never smelled them.
If you do it — have video sex with someone you’ve never met IRL — in all likelihood, you never will in person.
Remember to smile & have fun. Relax & let your personality shine.
As Dr. Christian Jarrett says in his article “Why meeting another’s gaze is so powerful,” ‘When you look another person in the eye…it is perhaps the closest you will come to ‘touching brains’ — or touching souls…Given this intense intimacy, perhaps it is little wonder that if you dim the lights and hold the gaze…you will find strange things start to happen.’
It’s pretty simple. What do you want? Do you want a date? Do you want a relationship? Or, do you just want the most swipes?
When you take the time to prepare & look & feel good & confident, you can focus on the conversation & have better results.
