Dating : Four Scientific Signs You Might Be With Your Soulmate

h2>Dating : Four Scientific Signs You Might Be With Your Soulmate

Soulmate.

The idea that somewhere in the universe there’s a perfect match for your own soul.

Some religions believe the soul is split in two, and to become one soul you must find your perfect match. Plato, the Greek philosopher, wrote about all souls being one before Zeus split them apart.

In the Bible, as well as other more recent religious texts, the idea of a soulmate centers on a spiritual connection between partners. A deeper, intimate connection, more than just attraction.

The idea has bubbled up for centuries. A romanticized idea of one perfect mate for everyone on this planet. All you need to do is sift through the sand and uncover that one piece of gold, destined for you.

Some of us have done a lot of sifting.

According to YouGov (2020), 56% of all adults in the United States believe in soulmates, while only a quarter think the idea to be foolish.

Whether you count yourself in the believer’s category or not, the idea of a perfect match is sometimes enough to keep you going. But wouldn’t it be nice to know if you’re with your soulmate? Is it possible to determine this? Or is it simply you know when you know?

While quantifying whether you’re with the perfect person for you in the entire world isn’t possible, there are ways to figure out whether the two of you are right for one another, or if your soulmate is still out there, lost, in search of you.

To help light your path, here are a few ways to help determine whether you really are with your soulmate or not.

When you first start dating someone your brain likely goes one of two ways. You either think of them all the time, or you think of them only when they’re brought up in a conversation, they text you, you see their picture, or at random points of the day.

Early on in my college years, I worked at a pita joint. Think Subway but with pitas. The tanning salon next door had an obvious hiring policy: attractive, thin, perky. Maybe that’s the kind of person who applied to work at a college tanning salon, I don’t know. Can’t say I’m fully abreast of the day-to-day operations of tanning bed operators.

Anyway, one of the girls had me smitten. It was more the bubbly personality, laugh, and slight awkwardness more than anything else. For whatever reason, an askew awkwardness, especially upon meeting, is especially attractive. It doesn’t feel glossed over or an act. It’s authentic. Eventually, we started dating. I don’t even understand how I pulled that one-off. There was an older gentleman who would come in, grab a pita, then go over to the tanning salon to flirt with the girls. The day he found out I was dating her he came in, stood there, and just watched me. A way-too-long kind of watch. When I asked what was up he said: I’m trying to figure out how you pulled it off.

No clue.

But she was one of those people I simply couldn’t stop thinking about. Day and night. Night dreams and daydreams. While around and while absent.

Why is all this thinking about someone so important? Because, according to a Stony Brook University study, the very chemical makeup of your brain changes when you’re truly in love with someone. It alters the reactions within the brain. Like your brain has placed billboards of the person you love on every street corner.

It’s election day and the only option is the person you love (wouldn’t that be a dream).

Of course, this needs to go both ways. Your partner needs to think of you at all times much like you do. If both of you do, good things might be coming your way.

Do you love spending time with your partner? Is it to the point where as soon as you leave their presence you can’t wait until your next date? Does time drag on between those dates to the point you absolutely need to call them or talk to them or see their face mere hours later?

If not, you’re in trouble.

Because true love very much is like forming a strong addiction. Just how much of an addiction? According to research conducted by Syracuse University, strong love releases the exact same chemicals in the brain as doing cocaine.

When you see the person your brain releases these chemicals, so you are actually receiving a similar high as if you were taking narcotics. This means you, in the truest sense of the word, are addicted to your partner.

However, the chemical release doesn’t happen with just anyone. You can’t trick yourself into falling in love. Your brain knows when you’re attracted at a physical, mental, and emotional level. It’s also why sex with someone you love feels different than a one night stand. Sex will always release some level of dopamine in the brain, but combine that with the love-addiction chemicals of adrenalin, vasopressin, oxytocin (to name a few).

If you’ve been through a bad breakup before (my hand is raised) it feels more than devastating. As if something in your body actually broke. In many ways, it’s not too different from someone addicted to cocaine going cold turkey. Your body no longer releases the chemicals it’s become accustomed to receiving.

Addiction to your special someone doesn’t automatically mean you’ve met your soulmate, but it’s a feeling that doesn’t come along with many others, so at the very least you’re on the right track.

Has someone ever told you they have the perfect person to match you up with because you’re alike in many ways? It’s happened to me, and it’s a major turnoff. I don’t want someone that’s like me. I’m around me all day. The dogs are around me all day and there are times when I walk into the room they’ll get up and leave.

In other words, there’s enough of me in the room already. But that’s the same for everyone. There really is such a thing as opposites attracting. A Columbia University research study found that couples with similar personalities and who share similar physical traits are less likely to last. So you know that couple from your last dinner party that agreed on every single topic in a rather annoying way? Well, you might have the last laugh because couples who agree on everything are less likely to go the distance because they don’t know how to argue.

There is an art to arguing. Not by trying to get your way, but by understanding how to remain connected with your partner and to not let it boil over. Couples with differences are better equipped to handle this. It’s the princess and the pea situation, only with a relationship. Everything was perfect for the princess, except that one pea under her mattress kept her awake all night. With a mirror image, perfect relationship, everything might seem just right, but that one difference can derail the entire thing.

How many times have you heard the phrase “romance had left the relationship” (or something along those lines)?

There’s more truth to that than you might believe. The University of Pavia conducted a study monitoring brain chemical makeup in the brains of couples, both at the beginning of a relationship and further along in the established relationship. In the study, the researchers found that early on, the brains of couples experience a release of chemicals that causes euphoria. However, over the first year, this chemical eventually fades.

You know that feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you’re going to see someone or having sweaty palms when kissing your partner? All of that is because of the chemical release. The study finds though that after a year (on average) your body no longer releases the chemical. So, when you suddenly realize that butterfly feeling is gone, it’s not because the relationship has changed, it’s that your brain has adjusted. In some ways, that initial “romantic” feeling is no longer present and it’s not likely to come back

This is when many relationships run into problems. It’s also when the committed relationship begins. The romantic, chemically induced relationship is not coming back, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a committed love present.

You might not know whether you’re in a truly committed relationship with your soulmate until after that butterfly effect dies down. But if you’re as tight and connected as ever, it’s a good sign you found your special someone.

Maybe you don’t believe in a soulmate. The idea that there’s the one person who matches you absolutely perfectly. Perhaps you’re now cynical after failed relationships and seeing the downside of human nature in a breakup. Whatever you might believe in, believe in love, because it’s out there. And these scientific signs may be your path to discovering whether you’re with someone who truly makes you happy.

And in the end, maybe that’s enough.

Dating : Four Scientific Signs You Might Be With Your Soulmate

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What do you think?

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