Dating : Free To Be Human

Several years ago a close friend of mine lost his mother after a year-long battle with cancer. While paying my respects to the family at her funeral, I walked up to her husband and told him how sorry I was for his loss. Before I could finish the sentence, he looked at me with glossy eyes and said,

“She’s in a better place.”

What! She’s in a better place?!

Really? Your wife of 36 years just died and that’s all you have to say?

“Where are the tears?” I thought.

Obviously everyone grieves differently but I couldn’t help but wonder why he held back what was without a doubt a painful moment. After all, it was a funeral. Who there was going to blame him for caving-in to the sadness that her death merited?

I’ve mentioned before in other posts that the gospel message of Jesus helps us wake up to truths hidden within the fabric of our humanness. The revelation of Jesus and the cosmic redemption of his death and resurrection points us to a God who is okay with you and I being human.

An event like the premature passing of a loved one is a tragedy and no doubt worthy of every bit of our lamenting and wailing and grief. It doesn’t matter how hard one might try, no amount of theological bandwidth can squelch the suffering.

In one form or another it will find it’s way out.

Holding back from expressing our pain only keeps us from being the full humans that God intended for all of us to be.

Today, on this Monday evening, may you be free to feel. May you be free to be human. I don’t think God would want it any other way.