Dating : Images of her

1. She was my best friend. And my first love.

2. After one month she handed me her keys. In December of our first year, I moved in with her. We had only been together for three months.

3. She threw her socks in front of the bed at night and left her used dishes in the sink.

4. We watched the people on the street below from our little balcony. Once she said, “We’ll never be like them…”

5. On some days she would sit in her studio for hours with her feet on the radiator, staring out the window. When she wrote, I sneaked up behind her and hugged her. I kissed her naked. She smiled without looking at me.

6. Her hair was getting longer and longer. She wanted to cut it short. I asked her not to. She did it anyway.

7. She always gave me books and was annoyed that she could never think of a better present. I read them all. Some drove me to despair. Some made me cry. But I loved every single one of them.

8. In November, it rained from daybreak to midnight. Many days in a row. Then she had her rainy face and hid in her studio. I never got to see the texts she wrote on days like that. Once I asked her about them. She just laughed and said they were not important.

9. She drank lots of coffee. Too much at times. Eventually, I picked up on this habit.

10. I always felt safe with her. No matter what happened, no matter what scared me, she was always there. She held me in her arms and the world went back to being all right.

After five years and twelve days, it was over.
I hardly remember that day.
She left the house in the morning and never came back.

I’m still living in our small apartment, but without her the rooms are drab. I’m going to move out soon. All I take with me are the images of her.