Dating : Looking through a window

Looking through a window

Of what life has become

Not knowing the truth inside me

Don’t know what is real

Just want to see through my own eyes

Just want to stop living in third person

How do I find myself?

How do I deal with these demons?

This unholy pain?

All I can do

All I can feel

Is the numbness

Is everything all at once

All I know is I’m tired

I’m tired of not seeing things

I’m tired of forgetting

All I can see

Is everything I want to be

Is the hurt

Although I can’t see life through my own eyes

I know where I want to go

But I’m so scared

Scared of failure

Scared of not being good enough

I’m tired

Tired of crying

Tired of not feeling

Tired of all the pain

I know I’m strong

I know I’m me

But sometimes I forget

I forget and feel weak

I forget and feel tired

I’m looking through a mirror

I’m seeing the old me

But I don’t feel like the old me

I can’t stop the hurt

I can’t stop the tears

But I’m trying to learn

Learn who I am

Learn how to be the best me

I know I’m strong

I know I’m beautiful

Beautiful inside and out

I just don’t see it always

I don’t feel it very often

No matter how much I’m told

Told that I am