Dating : Making Moves is Tricky — Love is Hard

For me, a love story starts with making moves, either it is love at the first sight, the common getting to know each other for two strangers, or a friend that becomes a lover. If there is no moves made, then most probably there is not a story at all. This step is similar with the beginning of making an investment in something new and unfamiliar. In my opinion, investing wisely is the key in any steps of a relationship.

Like any other investments, when we start thinking about making a new one, we should consider its risks and benefits. First, trust our intuition. Yes, sometimes it disappoints us, but along with the time and experiences, we would be better and better. Second, think about our needs and readiness which are affiliated to various aspects in our lives, including physical, emotional, spiritual, time, financial, and else. The “out of your league” term is real. It is not just intended to discourage us, but in fact, it reminds us to make a wiser decision. Third, decide whether it would be a good investment or not. Good means that our feeling towards him/her AND the person are worth to be fighting for. Fourth, if we have decided to go for it, do tell and show the other person about our feelings. Words are definitely not enough, nevertheless actions only are not convincing. Both are essential to make the statement. The last but not the least, mind the pace and timing for both parties. If we are too in a rush, we will just like diving into it, head first. Besides, that person maybe not ready and leave. On the other hand, being too slow would cost us our chance. Either that person has chosen somebody else, or simply does not feel wanted enough.

Apparently, taking all aspects mentioned above into account would not guarantee the success. We still probably get rejected, disappointed, and hurt. I can say that every thing that involves humans is complicated and relationship does not make it easier. Although failure is more likely taking place on an investment in relationships than any other things, I think that it should not scare us from trying or being in one.

Speaking of love, it is always a risk, but do it anyway because it is so worth it. I really think that it is better to enjoy the happy moments than to scratch our happiness by worrying or thinking too much. Indeed, we do not know what the outcome would be, but isn’t that the interesting part of it? When we focus on our fears of uncertain future, then we will not be able to appreciate the journey; the confidence and nervousness, the ups and downs, also the joy and tears.

One of my good friends said, “We are the best version of ourselves when we stop worrying and enjoy the ride. In fact that version is the one that would attract and engage him/her.”

No, my friend is not an ideal living proof of this advice. She also fights her own demon. After all, we are used to being able to speak objectively with clear heads when we are not the one who is involved. But it does not mean that what we said is incorrect. I personally took that advice seriously.