Dating : Secret Sex Trip: Part 1

Secret Sex Trip: Part 1

There she was, with a bright halo around her, waiting to go through security at the airport. Among the tired faces, haggard by the brisk and dark February weather of DC, the gleam in Ginny’s eyes betrayed the seeming daze of her morning face. It gave her a wild glow, like a florescent light flickering brightly when first switched on. She was half asleep, but very much looking forward to whats to come.

This was because her wispy printed canvas tote carry on, which she was languidly kicking forward to the pace of the line, was heavy and filled with new and still stickered sex toys: steel handcuffs, some ropes, a leather riding crop that was on sale, several kinds of paddles and floggers, and a sex bar. All ambitious purchases. Plus one pink leather harness, and dildos: two silicon, medical grade dildos. A splurge. Of course, there were also pieces of stretchy lace and spandex leather attire. Ridiculous. Like a travel sized sex chamber kit. Ginny harbored this secret thrill with quiet glee. My future so bright.

After she put her tote on the conveyor belt, she remembered the advice from Sloan. Just remember, before you go through screening, to let them know you have some sex toys packed. They’ll be discreet. Nothing to it.

Sloan was one of the few that knew of this trip. Queer and non-binary, Sloan looked like a beautiful woman dressed boyish and rugged — with his head shaved everywhere except the top, slicked back, which emphasized and sharpened his facial features. But there were still signs of softness, around his eyes and lips. Sloan identified as a man early in his life. He had a slender turned wiry body from regular weight sessions at the gym. He was also a computer science academic that was always both hip and nerd. So there was this interesting mix of having a womanly understanding when he listened to Ginny, but with this slight overbearing quality that made him very much masculine and an occasional asshole. This was always apparent particularly while gambling, where they met. Ginny was one of the few women involved in her ex boyfriend’s poker group. During games, she was use to other players acting out of turn when involved in a hand with her. But whenever Sloan did this to her, it seemed he was especially cognizant to acknowledge and apologize for overlooking Ginny, the presumption being this was a sexist habit. Ginny thought it was telling of a kind of consideration Sloan had for his former gender, and she tried to respect and relay the same. No worries girl. Shit. I mean no worries.

And as an identified man, Sloan also had a tendency to advice give. In this instance however, while Sloan was familiar with sexual kinks, he never actually traveled for it. And he was certainly pleasantly surprised and intrigued enough for Ginny, so mustered his brain power to come up with that simple and solid advice- just give one of them a heads up. Sloan was however, a definitive expert on wearing a harness and dildo attachment, a regular part of his sex life with his girlfriend. Make sure the packaging says, medical grade silicon for the dildo, boil it for two minutes before and after, and that the lube is water based.

Shoes off and coat-less, Ginny looked over to see several TSA workers, and wondered who to share her secret with. Her eyes settled on this pretty and curvy young black woman. Her name tag read Keonna. She had long glossy straight hair with a streak of dark purple to the side, and, a glam face and body. Her brows shaped, lips rouged, and cheeks contoured all perfectly. Ginny cheerfully speculated that Keonna had her mask on and was ready to survive the day, the drudgery…to attack the night! Bustin’ out of this drab blue uni!?

“Excuse me miss, “ Ginny said, and leaned over towards Keonna before dropping to a whisper, “ I just wanted to let you know that I have some sex toys in my bag.”

“Say what? Sex toys? ” Keonna voiced her confusion loudly. Ginny repeated.

“ So? That’s fine. Why? You got a lot?!” Ginny gave a meek smile and hunched her shoulders upwards, Maybe?

Keonna looked over to the computer screen and saw that the scanned bag looked like it was filled with weirdly shaped contraptions. She looked back at Ginny with big eyes and rolled up lips, surprised, and nodding, maybe impressed.

“I got you girl.” Keonna said and looked one more time at Ginny passing through the body sensor, and thought, Damn girl.

While waiting to board her flight, Ginny went browsing through the nearby bookstore, and got nostalgic looking over the romance book titles. She can’t remember the last time she browsed romance novels, and started to skim some of the back covers, and fanned through some of the pages, curious to see how the sex scenes were detailed. Once Ginny had lost her virginity and became more sexually active, it was difficult to take serious the orgasms the heroines would have from a pinch of a nipple, or just a caress over her softness. Sex scenes aside, the stories also lost their jazz for her. The heroine was usually some beautiful pale face woman with deep blue or green eyes who had such big virtue and attractiveness that the rakish tall brawny or sinewy hero just fell heads over for. Ginny always thought, lovely for them.

It became a stretch at a point, when not once did any heroine portray a trait that was so core to Ginny or epidemic to many women she knew. Ethnicity and culture aside, Ginny was so sexually curious and also could not help but fall for smooth talking and good looking guys, for players. One, “hey whats up” from a hot guy who was not overtly and apparently an asshole, and she use to go “oh, man.” No heroine fell for the hot and cold, love’m and leave’m type, no clear player. Their hormones were more selective for who they “tingled”or “palpitated” for. No heroine was as easily flushed as Ginny was for any particular charming dude. Ginny went weak for a good smile and words, a sex leer, and found more people than not attractive. And the heroines always had incredible sex. Just incredible sex. Each time. Clearly years of reading romance novels put her back a bit in gauging sex. The worst of it perhaps was white boy fever, a long lasting infliction.

No titled heroine would have also have gotten suckered into a relationship on the promise of love and being taken care of. Ginny raises her hand in the air, yup, that’s me. They wouldn’t have fell for a sweet talker. She was pulled by Tim being immediately enamored by her. She was almost thirty and filled Tim with all her hopes of lasting love and happy endings. She thought the timing was right. Her friends were partnering up. She was done being alone, with those moments of numbing loneliness. How wrong she was. Ginny winced at how she wrong she was to cling and make something with him.

Maybe it was Ginny’s time now. Maybe a nipple pinch would blow her mind now. She looked around briefly before lightly giving it a try, a small squeeze. She felt a stirring, and this was positive that it just might. Sex in her late teens was just fumbling and new, and in her twenties numbing and blurry. Well, her early thirties have been quietly empty. Well, not no more. Ginny gestured her hand in front of her in a slashing sword move — not no more!

Because now, halfway to forty, Ginny planned on venturing into sex with a new hunger, her way back to some kind of youngness and exuberance, a salve maybe, for all the dormant years prior. And she was going to do it as someone she liked more- herself. She promised she liked herself more. She wasn’t going to let anyone put her off guard or make her feel small. Not men, not family or friends or various people. Especially herself.

She was going to meet Sean, one of the love’m and leave’m men from her past. It’s been ten years since she last seen him. Then, she was fifteen lbs lighter, more slender and unlined and bouncy. Sharper in mind, but also had the dumbness of young bravado. She cared more back then of coming off a certain way. She was more concerned of showing an unsightly part of her profile. She would be unsure to play it cool and indifferent if a guy gave her a tepid response. Now, she just did not think anything else mattered except getting out. Ginny can be now described as — not giving a damn. But the truth was, of course she did still. The years and all the bullets to her psyche had her discover that most things just did not matter much. She was going to try on the role of a dominatrix, femdom. She was going to dominate a former lover, Sean A. Lewis, poster fuckboy. Or was it fucboi? Ginny was getting use to the lingo.

It was time to board.

Slouched against the window at the back of the plane, Ginny attempted to sleep, but her mind wouldn’t shut off. She thought of her late night phone texting spree a few weeks earlier, reaching out to men from her past. She was in that stage of clear attention seeking and basic curiosity. All her texts were boilerplate and annoyingly obvious. Hii! It’s Ginny. Long time. Saw you were still a contact. How are you? Ginny cringed at how annoyingly obvious, but considered it necessary.

Sean responded quickly. Very long time.

The last time they saw each other, Sean wanted to put an empty wine bottle in her. Ginny thought of him with affection.

There was some mundane back and forth texting until Sean finally asked — why are you texting me? Ginny responded- Well, I just got out of a long term relationship. So… I am being a bit typical. And that is most of my nerves. So, bye.

After a pause, Sean replied. Lets talk soon.

Ginny didn’t have it in her to meet new people. To put herself out there. It was a godsend for Sean to come through. Things quickly escalated. Where do you live now? Aspen. Maybe I can come visit. They both knew what it meant. But a day later, Ginny realized that going to see Sean would not satisfy her. She recognized awhile ago that their times were empty.

Sean was a typically good looking white guy that grew up with his psyche free of common life shits, money concerns, broken homes, cross cultural issues, identity crises, you know. So his mind was always plenty free to explore and develop more odd complicated kinks and thoughts early on in life, and includes a sweet obvious entitlement. Guys like him were fun to fuck for this reason. They were freer in their sexual expression. They’ve had more opportunities and education to explore it. Of course that didn’t make them any less questionably dubious in their treatment and view of women,whose lives and interests they were incurious to and found pedestrian. But Ginny never took this personally with Sean, and always happily engaged with him.

Looking back though, she saw how little he knew her. How unappealing this was. Sean, I’ve changed my mind. Is it okay when I visit, to have no expectations? I don’t know if I want to do anything.

He took her change of heart easily enough. Sure. They continued to chat online. And of course, things turned to sex and role play. Over several conversations, Ginny extracted Sean’s thoughts on sexual kinks and taboos. She was curious about the depth of his interest in it. What the heights of role playing with him might actually seem like. And along the way, Ginny’s own interest grew.

“Well, women have tried to be dominant with me, but generally, they have lacked the confidence to follow through. This is not surprising. Women tend to be more submissive, and I am on the more dominant side” Sean explained this to Ginny on video chat. He still looked the same. His face still looked the same exasperated. “Ginny, you can’t just take notes. Being dominant is not that easy.”

“Well, I may not have that kind of confidence, but… I don’t really care if I fail. Continue please.”

Sean pondered, “well, I don’t like pain, getting hit. I’m not into that.”

Ginny, studiously notes this as Sean continued, “ I don’t mind humiliation and bondage.”

Ginny asked, “ by humiliation, what do you mean? Calling you fat and stupid? Is that the same with women? In reverse roles?”

“No, I don’t mind that. You can say worse. Generally, you don’t say those things to women.”

“Sean, I’m curious, what is it that attracts you to sexual taboos, or what makes them taboos to you?”

Sean’s face turned thoughtful as he took time to form his thoughts, “there’s something about the taboo that brings it closest to full and whole desire.”

“What about peeing on someone,” I asked seriously. He took cue, and continued, “Piss play is a good example. There may be several specific reasons to desire to pee on someone or to have someone pee on you, but a general reason is because it is taboo attracts me. It is a debasing act — but you and your partner agree to do it and there is something in that agreement, in knowing that one is debasing the other, both fully aware and accepting of it- and that can be incredibly arousing. Now there may be health and germ concerns employing piss, but generally it can be a clean enough fluid if you take care of your diet. These are moving standards.”

The conversation continued with an almost educational and evaluative bent, going through the general categories of pain, humiliation, and bondage. Sean did not care to get hit, he did not mind being humiliated and tied. He wrapped it up.

“ My thought on sexual taboos is like this. Unlike animals, or other animals, humans are more complex, thus more complex systems of arousal. And these systems of arousal generate taboos. We have more ways to signal arousal than other animals. And if you’re in a position to have sex often, you can become more curious and adventurous in exploring the different signals of arousal. There is something very arousing to surrendering and doing things that are against the norm. You are showing this is how aroused you are. Beyond typical indicators. Physical violence, financial domination.” These are all kinds of psychological arousal I suppose. These are all environmental cues — you are seeing yourself break them, and your partner breaking them with you. Everyone’s wired differently in regards to what triggers get them going.”

“But what particularly do you want done? What are you into.” Ginny attempted to probe further, but Sean remained general and vague and at times frustrated. In hindsight, it was understandable. To share these deep desires required a sense of trust and understanding that she never earned.

Sean looked at Ginny, “ It’s not that easy Ginny. There has been a few who have tried with me, and to repeat, none were able to follow through.” He paused, “ There is a certain physicality to it.”

Memories of Sean moving her about during sex, changing positions, changing locations. Once from on his bed to against the staircase. Sean never looked like he had a muscle-y physique, but he was strong. Sometimes it would feel like he was throwing her about.

Ginny asked, “ Did you mean like you how you are physical in bed? Like with me before?” He game a brief nod.

“Maybe we can try.” Ginny said. “ It would be like an extreme icebreaker.” Sean looked bright with life at the idea. And the conversation ended.

She recalled waking up the next morning alert and prepared to read up on being sexually dominant. “Femdom” or “dominatrix” were the general terms. Simple enough — female sexual domination during intercourse. As she delved deeper into the search dive, her notes filled and scenes started to form in her head. She was getting a kick and aroused as hell at the thought of being in charge. That Sean seemed open to it. She felt appreciation for this random opportunity. It wasn’t even a physical arousal at all, which was strange to her. There was just something so novel about doing this. She was always a sexual person, though being in a tumultuous relationship the past few years felt shriveling. She was filling with excitement and purpose as her searches split off into toys and devices.

Ginny sent Sean a quick text, “ Can I hit you a little bit?”

He quickly replied, “Yes.”

The game was on. She google searched for nearby sex or adult store from where she was having lunch. Was this fate? There was one across the street.

Happyland was on the second story above a Chinese food joint in Adams Morgan, but sort of off the main street and separated by some closed up shops that were up for lease. It was discreet as it could be from outside Ginny supposed, with velvet window curtains drawn and a flashing neon sign in cursive: Happyland, Adult toy and video store. Ginny quickly glance around before dashing through the door and up the stairs.

The store was small, two rooms filled with so many things. Behind the counter, there was a young trendy looking Asian girl, sitting atop a stool. A bit on the heavy side, she had long and thick black hair with cropped bangs, with black framed glasses atop of impressive cheekbones. She also had standout tits you could see from her revealing top. She didn’t seem older than twenty, and Ginny guessed Korean or Chinese.

Ginny smiled at her and began to browse around. There were plenty of lingerie and costume pieces in one room, and like a hardware section in the next. As she entered, she saw a wall with multiple rows of small products. On closer view, they all seemed to be for the anus. There were also standalone shelves stacked with different kinds of dildos and vibrators on top lining the middle of the room. Ginny turned around to see that the shop girl followed her in.

“Can I help you with anything?” Her voice was soft and light. Ginny smiled brightly.

“Yes, thanks,” before pointing at one particular item. “ may I ask, what is the difference between this and that.” She was comparing a two pronged thing to a three prong thing.

The shop girl looks, “well I think they are for grips.”

“May I ask, do you have any experience with any of these? I’m sorry, I think I’m just really new to…” and her hand waved across the room, “ all of this.” The shop girl smiles, “No problem. Sure.”

Before the girl could answer, Ginny walked to the detachable dildos hanging high on the wall at the far end of the room. They were so high up, it was an odd view, just dangling above her. Some were just shaped simply and of various neon colors, and some were life looking. Different material and sizes. Ginny looked back to gesture at the shop girl to come over.

“Are there any in particular that are more popular than others?”

“ Well, it’s all a preference.”

“I’m going to do some role play soon. And both of us are new. Is this for strap ons?”

The girl laughs.

“May I ask how you use it?”

The girl enthusiastically shared how you wear a holster that you put your legs through, and they usually come with a holder in the middle to insert the strap on. She then showed Ginny a selection and brought out this bright pink leather one. She had Ginny put it over her pants. No giggles. All happy business.

Ginny started to move her hips, trying to imagine. “How do you? I mean should the strap on be pointed upwards or downwards…What size should I get?”

“You can probably discuss it with your partner about this.”

“Well…I was just thinking to do it?”

“Oh no! You should definitely ask him first.”

“But isn’t that what a safe word is for?”

The shop girl’s aghast look turned pondering, “Hmm, that’s true.”

Her name was Amy, and she ended up being a wonder to Ginny. So knowledgeable and more experienced sexually than Ginny was when her age.

“Oh yea, I’ve pegged a guy before. We exchanged favors.”

“What do you mean exchanged favors.”

“He wanted to DP me and I wanted to peg him.”

“What does DP mean?”

“Double penetration.”

“How do you know all this?

“Well, you can find anything online. I watch a lot of porn.”

Maybe it was getting older, or it was all the romance books she read when younger, or the pervasiveness of internet access that was part of daily life now, but Ginny was shocked that she found herself sill harboring a kind of romanticizing of sex that seemed less apparent with Amy. Ginny use to think that she had a pretty interesting sex life in her youth, enough partners to account for it at least. But when she spoke to a young person like she did now, she saw the untruth of it. She was way conservative looking back. Happily, she felt she had some catching up to do. Ginny purchased the strap on and the holster. Then she saw behind the register a black rectangular box with the words “sex bar” in neon script. Everything seemed neon. Amy saw Ginny’s interest and reached for it.

“This has been a recent bestseller.” Amy opened the box and pulled out three foot long metal rods. She connects them to become a long expandable bar. At each end there was a strip of black velcro.

“So you can use this to put their ankles through…and basically it makes it easier to flip your partner in bed, like this,” she demonstrated.

Ginny began to imagine. She quickly did a price check online, and saw that it was comparable. “ I’ll take that too please.” She then sends a picture of it to Sean.

A moment later, Sean texted back, “ ARE YOU GOING TO FLIP ME OVER AND FUCK ME IN THE ASS?”

Pause. She replied.

“ If you want?”

Pause. He replied.

“We can discuss later.”