Dating : Summer 2k19

I was like a toddler at the beginning of the summer. My best friend grew me from a toddler to a child. I followed everything she did and learned a lot and grew even more until I was as an adult in a way where they taught you everything you need to learn in this crazy way. But adults make bad decisions from what there taught as kids right?

I started fucking with this amazing bitch called mary jane and she made me feel trippy and extraordinary everywhere I went. when she was around it felt like the world had stopped. At one point my friends didn’t even have to tell me to fuck with her. I watched her with all my friends so I said fuck it and tried her out and know I’m addicted and I love her.

I started fucking with evil people. people were like toxins that got inside my skull and rearranged my way of thinking about life and they made me trust them to think they were okay. but when it stops fucking with my mind they leave me and its like withdrawal from drugs and you start to feel lost and crave more of it and you don’t know what to do on your own so now your trapped.

People are a strange type of drugs, some you buy to use and they stay until you stop buying them and stuff for them. Some drugs come to you to make you feel better but then it turns into an addiction and you can’t stop so the drug stops working you need something stronger than that. Now the strong drugs will make you feel the best but so toxic that you will die either way with or without them. When you get off drugs you pretend you don’t want them and you watch all your “friends” do them but if you got the chance you would take them back in an instant.

When you like drugs your family starts to look down on you and frown they act like your, not the same person but deep down inside you’re lost. Everyone has given up on you and in the end. your the elephant in the room and it silently ends everyone is judging you in there heads and they frown and awe in their head.the mindset of a person whos a minus to society thinks about hurting others they love but would never act on it in fear of the consequences. we quietly watch people be fake and think they’re hurting us but we are hurting them even more by being a selfish intolerant human being that feels dead inside and would give the chance of death in an instant.

I quietly watch these people throw there lives away and they block it out by saying ”ftw” (fuck the world)but we all live in the world you can’t block it out. The world is always gonna be a pain in the ass and that’s life and your gonna have to eventually grow up and your gonna notice that you can’t hide from it and pretend it isn’t there because when you step out your gonna get a quick wake up call.

You can’t fight everyone because of there opinion and that’s life everyone is not gonna like you or the way you do things but if you fight when your older and do that shit a jail cell is waiting for you. that’s like fighting Somone because they criticized your work ethics you cant fight your manger right? if you do that means no money for bills, rent, kids, and you cant support yourself or your family. learn to take criticism because its apart of this society so suck it up buttercup.

There more to life then getting high and having sex and fighting and arguing 24/7. Toxic people are not okay if they control the people you talk too, tell you to kill yourself. always put you down. force you into things, or they are just bad in general. I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH CUT THEM THE FUCK OFF ASAP. TOXIC PEOPLE LIKE THIS DONT DESERVE A POINT TO LIVE OR HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE it’s SO DISGUSTING WHEN PEOPLE ARE SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC OR RACIST LIKE STFU AND GO AWAY. ITS SAD IF PEOPLE EXPOSE GIRLS THAT ARE ONLY TRYING TO LEARN AND HAVE FRIENDS LIKE THAT GIRL DOWNGROUNDED HERSELF TO EMPRESS YOU JJUST SO YOU COULD GO A FUCK UP HER SOCIAL LIFE AND YOU HANG IT OVER HER HEAD ALL THE TIME AND YOUR A BITCH TO HER every time YOU SEE HER LIKE WOW THAT’S SO HOT AND HANDSOME TO GIRLS! GIRLS AND GUYS GET HARASSED FOR THAT SHIT WERE IT LEADS TO PEOPLE SELFHARMING AND WANTING TO KILL THEMSELVES IS THAT SOMETHING YOU WANT ON YOUR CONSCIOUS. IF YOU DID MORE THEN 1 THING TO A GIRL ISNT THAT ENOUGH LIKE JEEZ.

Toxic friends need to be cut off. I’m not even gonna go in detail about this but if you let someone change your mind about a person then you’re just as bad as the dude exposing the girl. Don’t love people, boys, and girls, because all people show there true colors around there boy/girlfriend or when they’re drunk or high or angry.

Sex isn’t that great. Sex breaks an emotional connection with a person to the point where it’s like this isn’t even fun anymore. You start to not even care about the bond with the person and when you have sex it’s like ok bye! Or is that because I’m scared to make commitments to people and try to love people? Loving people is hard after so many people have lied and broken a person’s heart? just turned me into a person who doesn’t want a connection just a quickie then ill dip and go on about my business. Love doesn’t last forever because eventually, you’ll get tired of the other person so that’s why you shouldn’t get married. Its something that comes quickly but slowly fades away after time because remember everything dies eventually. I just want someone who doesn’t need a boy or girl. Be independent it’s way better than bullshit heartbreak. Boys are stupid as it is and stupid as it comes and all they do is get in your way of success and will bring you down from your dreams of success into a whole different path but nobody can stop my dream and my plan.

Partying all night with your friends sucks. It’s fun but sucks. Its helps you make memories and it helps you forget the important stuff you have to do but there’s stuff that has to get done but when parting your adrenalin is so high were you say fuck it.then you wake up and remember it all and it’s crazy waking up in someone else’s bed and a bunch of people passed out around you. Walk to the kitchen to get a cup of water from the faucet. walk back to the room sit back on the bed get under the cover. look around at the sleeping people and wonder wtf happened and fall back asleep. Monday comes none of your homework is done but you don’t care because you’re wondering when the next party with your “friends” is your grades start to go down but it’s okay because you only live once right and you not having a care in the world.

I’m only 14 and if you ask me what all have I done I would tell you everything this summer was cray asf, I learned a little, lost a little, and gained a little, but in the end, everyone and everything leaves and comes into your life for a reason. be yourself and do what the fuck you want to do.