Dating : The Space Between Walls

The walls were paper thin. The windows reinforced. The floors were cold and wooden. A ceiling fan whooshed overhead. It was hard to tell what day it was. Was it morning or afternoon? A scratching along the family room indicated his return. The molding was pulled apart.

Jimmy’s hand pushed through the hole, where the molding used to be. His fingers stretched outward. His palm waited. She placed her hand in his.

“Jimmy, your hand is ice cold. Didn’t they turn the heat on for you?”

“Cassie, the heat hasn’t been on in weeks. There’s no hot water either.”

Cassie lied across the cold, wooden floor. She looked at the wall in front of her. A clear bag of laundry rested against it. A white bag of donations was next to the laundry bag. They were late. Were they coming? She and David were running out of clean clothes to wear.

“Is David awake?”

“I don’t know. He hardly leaves the bedroom, so I can’t tell. He just stares out the window when he is awake.”

“There’s nothing to see out there,” Jimmy said.

“I know.” Cassie glanced at the one window in the family room. “There’s just trees. No life. No roads. Just trees.”

“It’s how they want it.” Jimmy’s grip tightened around hers. “That’s why they brought us here.”

“Jimmy, please don’t start. David and I were struggling, and coming here was supposed to help.”

“Did it?”

Cassie glanced at the wall next to the laundry and donation bags. “Have you eaten,” she asked.

“I haven’t gotten any food.”

“We got a food delivery the day before yesterday.”

“I didn’t,” Jimmy said.

“Hold on.” Cassie let go of his hand, but it took a moment for Jimmy to loosen his grip. She walked into the small kitchen nearby. She opened the bread drawer and pulled out two loaves of bread. She carried them over to the wall, where Jimmy’s hand waited. She placed the bread in his grip, and his hand disappeared back inside. “Better?”

“Thank you,” Jimmy’s muffled voice was heard against the wall. “If only you could hand me a glass of juice.” She could tell now when Jimmy had a smile to his voice. “They’re starving me out.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Cassie, there’s no food. No heat. No laundry. They’re trying to kill me.”

Cassie was about to respond when she heard his wheels across the wooden floor. She froze as the wheels paused by the bathroom. She quickly fixed the molding, pushing it back into place. She was about to stand up when he rolled up beside her.

“Lose another contact lens?”

David’s ugly tone sliced through her. Cassie slowly stood up. She folded her hands in front of her. She avoided eye contact. She waited for him to speak, and he did.

“No breakfast made? What kind of wife are you?”

“A good one.” She flinched at David’s glare. “What do you want to eat? I’ll fix something up.”

“I’m not hungry.” David moved his wheelchair back and rolled away. “Don’t feed the mice.” He glanced over his shoulder at her. “You could do the dishes. We don’t have to live like pigs.” He rolled back into the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Cassie glanced at the wall behind her. She knew Jimmy heard everything. She was tired of defending David to him. David was a good man. Coming here made him change. Not for the better. She hardly recognized him now, and she was grateful for her time alone. She returned to the kitchen, did the dishes, knowing that David was listening to her as well.

Cassie was about to put the last plate on the shelf when the hair rose up on the back of her neck and arms. A soft humming filled the space. The wall by the laundry and donation bags slid open. A gloved hand snatched up the bags, depositing another bag of clean clothes.

“Wait!” Cassie hurried over to the open wall. She stared into the dark space, trying to see who was on the other side. “My neighbor, Jimmy.”

“What about him?” The whisper made her blood run cold.

“He hasn’t gotten any food, and there’s no heat. He needs clean clothes too.”

“Okay.” The whisper again unnerved her.

“So, you’ll help him?”

“Sure.” The wall slid shut.

Cassie knew that no help was coming. Why did they even bother to answer her? She glanced down at the bag of clean clothes. She looked over at the closed bedroom door. She didn’t want to walk in there, but David would make a comment about the clean clothes staying in the bag on the floor. She picked up the bag and walked into the bedroom.

Cassie found David parked beside the bedroom window. He pushed a thin, white shade aside. He stared out at the trees. He ignored her as she put away the clothes. He didn’t say anything. Not one damn word. He waited for her to leave, but she paused by the door.

“David, I think we’re in trouble,” Cassie said.

“The system knows what’s it doing. You just have to trust it.” He still didn’t look at her.

“It’s breaking us. It’s breaking you.” Cassie flinched as David glared at her. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“We can’t exactly leave, Cassie.”

“We could try. The walls are thin, and…”

“And what? What kind of world is left out there for us? We’re better off here.”

“Are we?” Cassie tried to hold David’s glare, but even his eyes cut like glass.

“Told you not to play with the mice.”

“We’re not so different.” Cassie stepped away.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” and Cassie closed the bedroom door behind her.

“He’s not a good man anymore,” Jimmy said as his hand touched the floor beside her. “The man that you knew and loved is gone, Cassie. He’s gone.”

“I don’t understand what happened. Where did it go so wrong?” Cassie sat against the wall. She saw Jimmy turn his hand over. He waited patiently until she slid her hand over his. “How did we get here?”

“We just did,” Jimmy said. “We believed the lie, and now we are mice in a cage.”

“You sound like David.” Cassie wiped her tears aside.

“Cassie, I need you to promise me something.”

“What?” She glanced down at his hand.

“If anything happens to me, to David, get out of here. Try to escape.”

“It’s impossible, Jimmy.”

“Nothing is impossible, Cassie. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out. Do you promise me?” He traced a finger along her skin. His hand was so cold. “Cassie?”

“I promise.” She tightened her grip against his. “What’s the last thing that you remember about being outside?”

“Going to a park with my wife and dog. My wife… She would be jogging around while I played with the dog. I miss them.”

“Your wife or the dog?” She smiled at Jimmy’s laugh. “I was getting ice cream with David. He just finished another physical therapy session, and he wanted ice cream. You would think that he would have been tired, but we sat together and ate vanilla ice cream on a cone. And he made all these jokes. He knew how to make me laugh. God, if only I could laugh like that again. I don’t remember the last time that I laughed like that.”

“Don’t I make you laugh?”

Cassie laughed. “You do, Jimmy, but David really made me laugh. He was so full of life, even after the accident.” Her smile vanished as she looked over at the closed bedroom door.

“They’re killing us, Cassie.” She didn’t answer him. “Cassie?” She looked down at his hand. “Cassie, I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap. I’ll be back soon.” She didn’t let go of his hand. “Cassie?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just thinking.” She let go of Jimmy’s hand.

“About what?” Jimmy didn’t pull his hand back inside.

“Life. What it would be like to live again. To really live again.”

“Maybe, one day, you will know that.” He pulled his hand back inside. “Wait for me?”

“Always do,” and Cassie put the molding back in place.

Cassie knew that she should eat. It felt like the afternoon. She heard a bird singing outside. Even the bird’s song sounded cold, lifeless. The bird was singing of misery. Even out there, the bird was still afraid.

Cassie forced herself to make a tuna fish sandwich. She made one for David too. She brought the food into the bedroom along with a glass of juice. David ignored her as usual, so she left the food and juice on the nightstand. She ate alone in the kitchen.

For the next few hours, she paced around the family room. There was only one chair in the room. It was brown and uncomfortable, but she tired of the pacing. She pushed the chair toward the window, sat down and stared outside, waiting for another bird’s song. There was none.

Cassie woke up in darkness. She glanced up at the ceiling fan overhead. It was still spinning around, circulating the air, but the lights didn’t turn on. That bothered her. She stood up on the chair and reached for the small, bronze cord hanging off the fan. Before she could reach it, the lights suddenly turned on.

“Strange,” Cassie muttered.

Cassie looked over at the molding. It looked like Jimmy was trying to push it away. What happened to scratching along the wall? It was their sign to talk. Why didn’t he wait for her? Did something happen?

Cassie moved the molding away. Jimmy’s hand was near the hole. She reached into the space between walls. She gripped his hand, pulling it toward her. His hand was ice cold.

“Jimmy, your hand is so cold.” Jimmy did not answer her. “I could get some towels and pour hot water over them. Wait here,” and she let go of his hand.

Cassie hurried into the bathroom, which was opposite the kitchen. She took a hand towel out of a drawer and poured hot water underneath it. When the towel was soaked, she turned off the sink. She carried the towel over to the family room, finding Jimmy’s hand lying on the floor.

“Here you go. You must be so cold in there.” Cassie wrapped the towel around Jimmy’s hand. Tears poured down her face. “I’m sorry I can’t do more for you. I wish I could.” She held Jimmy’s hand against her chest and cried harder. “You were… Are such a good friend to me. Thank you, Jimmy.”

Cassie heard the wheels roll across the floor. She didn’t bother to hide Jimmy’s hand or move the molding back into place. She cradled Jimmy’s hand next to her heart. Her tears continued to run. She stared up at David. He looked back at her.

Cassie waited for David to say something. He said nothing. He looked over at the molding. The hole in the wall. Jimmy’s hand. David’s eyes were blank. He rolled away. The bedroom door slammed shut.

“You were right, Jimmy. He’s gone,” Cassie cried. “He’s gone.” She looked over at the wall, where the laundry and donation bags had been. “I’m going to get out of here. I’m going to get out of here, Jimmy. I’m going back outside, whether they want me to or not, and I am going to live, damn it. I am going to live for all of us. I promise,” and Cassie kissed Jimmy’s hand.