h2>Dating : The Worst Type of F-Boy
Ladies, if you’re in a situationship that began around the start of shelter-in-place or Venus retrograde, note any familiarities in the following examples:
Example #1: Emotional Availability.
Emotional availability with Standard Fuckboy looks like:
- Fun, frequent banter including but not limited to use of nicknames and nauseating phrases like, “Wow, you’re so not like other girls. How are you still single?”
- Decrease in communication usually immediately following physical activity, activities which make them feel too close to you too soon, and/or discussions broaching relationship topics.
Emotional availability with COVID-Companion Fuckboy looks like:
- Video chatting for hours and talking about everything under the sun. Him asking questions, listening, and telling you he cares about you.
- Him seeming genuinely interested in getting to know you, yet not offering up the same level of vulnerability or personal stories as you.
Emotional availability is the holy grail of ideal male qualities, yet what seems like a healthy, blossoming emotional connection may just be surface level if the exchange is frequently one-sided. If you’re taking the time to let him in on your personal experiences and stories, he should be doing the same.
Example #2: The ‘Laying It Out On the Table’ Talk.
The ‘Laying It Out On the Table’ Talk with Standard Fuckboy looks like:
You: “Hey [insert cute nickname]! I wanted to let you know I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these last few months. I just want to make it clear I’m looking for my person, so I want to invest my time in relationships with people who are looking for the same. Before we develop stronger feelings for each other, I’d love to know if you want to continue exploring where this could go. If not, no worries, I just wanted you to know how I feel.”
Him: …………………………………………………..
In other words, ghosted.
The ‘Laying It Out On the Table’ Talk with COVID-Companion Fuckboy looks like:
You: “Hey [insert cute nickname]! I wanted to let you know I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these last few months. I just want to make it clear I’m looking for my person, so I want to invest my time in relationships with people who are looking for the same. Before we develop stronger feelings for each other, I’d love to know if you want to continue exploring where this could go. If not, no worries, I just wanted you to know how I feel.”
Him: “Yeah, I really like us and getting to know you, too. I want to see where this could go, I just want to be cautious. Things are a little crazy with not knowing when we’ll be able to see each other again, but this is good.”
Welp, I’m still learning to decipher what Fuckboy 2.0’s response actually means. Ghosting may suck, but at least it doesn’t entail me being compared to ‘danger’. I say: be cautious about running on wet floors and buying run-down boats, not about opening your heart to amazing possibilities with someone you connect with.
Example #3: Boyfriend-like Behavior
Boyfriend-like behavior with Standard Fuckboy looks like:
Boyfriend-like behavior with COVID-Companion Fuckboy looks like:
- Talking about how you’d get along with his mom.
- Reading your articles and providing genuinely great commentary.
- Looking up shops for you to fix your bike and helping you with general ‘life stuff’.
At his core, every fuckboy is just a boy. COVID-Companion Fuckboy is unique in that he thinks he wants a relationship — and probably does someday — but what he really craves is companionship during these strange times.
So if you come across one of these types, just remember to: (1) love them (love-and-light-type love, not love-love), (2) let them go (boy-BYE-type let go), and (3) love yourself as you make space for a man worthy of all you have to give.
