Dating : To The Man Who Murdered My Beautiful Granny

The hardest letter I have ever written

I have always used writing as a way to process my thoughts and feelings. It helps me rationalize situations and look at things from an objective point of view. I also write letters to people; letters that I don’t often give away.

I was recently going through my old journals and came across the letter I had written to the man who had murdered my beautiful grandmother in November 2010.

I tried seeing a psychologist but it just made me more angry. So I wrote. I wrote, and I wrote, and I ran, and I wrote some more. I wrote pieces about my anger, pieces about the questions I had, and I wrote letters to my grandmother. I chose to write a letter to the man who murdered her.

It’s incredible how much has changed over the years. Emotionally, mentally, psychologically; I have come a long way from where I was. That letter was filled with so much hatred, disgust and anger.

Nine years later, reading the letter made me realize how much I have matured. I can’t say that I forgive him, but the emotions I felt towards him have calmed down and you learn to move forward and cope better every day.

When her death anniversary comes around every year, I get sad because I miss her and still wish she was still alive to speak to her and see her amazing smile. But I don’t feel as angry anymore.

One day at a time; and things do get better. Sometimes the healing takes a little longer than I want it to. But you do heal. And when the pain subsides you remember the good times, the laughs, the memories shared. Healing takes time: one day at a time.