Dating : Winter – Chapters IV + V

We continued to date, and we really did spend every free second that we had with each other. He even started going to the gym in the mornings so that he would have more free time with me after our classes. I was super stressed with some of my classes, and he was so much help. He would help me study and tutor me with some of my math courses. He was so smart, and I found that incredibly attractive. I loved that we could have intellectual conversations and that he understood the world of business.

We made a lot of fun memories, including him teaching me how to cut his hair (Now that’s trust)! We ate dinner together pretty much every night, we did laundry together, we studied together, we were entirely consumed by each other.

As finals came around, he was so much help. He would pick me up from the library or class if it was late so I didn’t have to walk, help put away my laundry, make me dinner, surprise me with candy, etc. He was so sweet and I felt like we were an unstoppable team. I could seriously feel myself falling for him, and I was so excited.

C’s buddy from high school was getting married the Saturday before I left to go home for Christmas. His reception was that night, and C asked me to go with him as his date. He said that we would be going with his family, and we would meet up with them at their brand-new house and drive up together. I was super excited, but I was also extremely nervous. I spent hours searching for the perfect dress and fixing my makeup. I wanted to look perfect meeting the family of the man of my dreams.

C and I piled into his beat-up Taurus and headed to his parent’s house. As we began getting closer and closer, I started to notice something. Every single house in the area was massive, like next-level huge. When we finally pulled up to his parents’ house I was floored. C wore normal clothes, drove an old car, paid his tuition, etc. He had never mentioned that his parents were wealthy.

We entered the new house and he began to give me a tour. The house had 7 bedrooms, a gym, a movie theater, a sauna, a playroom, an arcade, and was completely customized with everything high end. I did my best to act as if I was unphased, but I was VERY phased. I suddenly thought super highly of C. Even though his parents were so successful, he was humble, down to earth, and kind. He didn’t flaunt it or act like he was entitled like so many other people I knew.

As we were touring the mansion they called a home, we ran into his mother. She was beautiful. She wore a black dress, had her hair curled, and the most stunning brown eyes. When I met her, I was kind of expecting a warm embrace like my mother’s normal greeting. Instead, she simply shook my hand, asked me a few questions about my family and told me she really had to take care of something. She then went off to speak with the contractor.

Ten minutes later, she came back and informed us that the rest of the family was running behind and we should just go without them. If I’m being entirely honest, I was a little relieved. I was beyond intimidated by this whole new world I had gotten myself into. Before we left, C asked his mom to take out photo, and it was the very first picture he ever posted on IG with me.

We arrived at the wedding reception, and C introduced me to a lot of his childhood friends. Everyone told me how lucky I was to be with him and praised him all night. I felt like I had landed quite the catch. This attractive, sweet, humble, smart man was with ME. After the reception, we were still hungry so we stopped at Subway. He called his family to see if they wanted us to pick anything up. They said they did and proceeded to give C the orders for 5 other people. He didn’t write a single thing down though, and I was confused.

When I asked him about it, he told me he’d remember. I kind of laughed skeptically and went in with him eager to see how everything would go down. Well get this, he remembered every single order down to the condiment without an error. I was genuinely impressed. He was able to memorize pretty much anything with such ease and it amazed me. He knew so many random facts and he was easily one of the smartest people I had ever met.

When we got to the house, his Dad greeted me with a huge hug and seemed much more inviting than his mother. He asked me all about my life, major, family, etc and I liked him. I knew C’s older brother from school and he simply gave me an awkward wave. I found it odd that he was acting so distant, but then again it might just be weird for his brother to be dating his friend. Finally, I met his 12-year-old little sister. She was super shy at first, but I participated in a Nerf war and won some cool points pretty quickly.

After an eventful night meeting the family, C took me to the airport and we said goodbye for two weeks. I was pretty sad to leave, but I also was beyond ecstatic to finally see my family again. I kissed him and headed to TSA.

My parents live in South Carolina (where I’m originally from), and I only get to see them 2 or 3 times a year. I was SO excited for Christmas with my fam. My mom always goes all out for Christmas, and we still do pretty much every little tradition from our childhoods.

Because I was catching up with my family and super busy with them, I wasn’t really able to text or call C very much. I was definitely interested in him, but at the time, making memories with my family was my priority. We would exchange a few texts throughout each day, and I called him for about 15 minutes each night.

Then calamity hit. My ENTIRE family got a stomach bug and we were all puking violently from Christmas Eve until the day after Christmas. We were all miserable, and I was so mad that I was sick while I was actually able to be home with my family and visit old friends. My head was pounding, I was throwing up, and my entire body ached. Because of this, I slept almost the entire 3 days. If I was asleep, I couldn’t throw up, and that was my goal! To be honest, texting a guy I’d been dating for a month was not at the top of my priority list. I was a little more concerned about how quickly I could run from my bedroom to the nearest bathroom.

Once I was starting to feel better, I began texting C more. He began one-word texting me and being pretty distant. I was super confused as to what was going on, so I gave him a call. On the phone, he wasn’t much different. I could tell something was bothering him. I simply asked if we were okay, and he told me we were pretty far from okay. He proceeded to tell me that he was upset with me for not staying in contact with him by texting and calling while I was sick. He said it was just really inconsiderate of me.

Looking back, I know that this was ridiculous. He should have been concerned about how I was doing and asking about my family. He should have known and trusted that even if we weren’t communicating 24/7, we were in a good place in our relationship. I argued with him saying I had been sick and asleep and that I had no way of maintaining contact to the level he was expecting. I was annoyed, and I even expressed this to my mom. But the more I thought about the situation, I realized that I really did care about him, and if I wanted this to work, I would have to put in more effort than I had been. I was super used to just doing life on my own.

I couldn’t help but consider that maybe this was just one of the sacrifices you have to make to create a healthy relationship?

I decided to call him back and apologize for the long gaps I took in responding to him. I told him I had no intention of making him feel like I cared less, and I promised to try to be better at communicating.

After that conversation, things seemed to get better. I always kept my phone by my side, and if he texted me, I made sure to respond promptly. I also made sure to call him for at least 30 mins each day. It wasn’t what I would normally do, but I thought maybe this is what people did in grown-up relationships.

About 5 days later, I got a random text. It was a screenshot of my relationship status on Facebook. I was extremely confused, and I simply sent him a question mark. I got no response for 2 hours, so I decided to give him a call. I asked him what his text meant, and he informed me that he had changed his relationship status to “In a Relationship” and that he thought I should as well. I was floored. We had been dating for only 1 month, wasn’t that a little premature? I also thought changing your relationship status outside or getting engaged or married was just tacky and something people did in middle school to cause drama. I expressed that I didn’t want to do that because I never changed my status, I never had.

I thought he would just laugh and move on, but this pushed him over the edge. He began accusing me of trying to stay “on the market.” His logic was that if I was dating him and only pursuing him, why would I care if everyone knew I was no longer “Single”. Again I expressed that I didn’t think it was necessary and that I felt uncomfortable doing so. This just seemed to make him even more upset. He then told me he had to go, and all I got was radio silence. Why was he being so weird about this? It was just Facebook. Only moms used Facebook, and literally, no one used relationship statuses anymore.

I still hadn’t heard from him for hours, and I was starting to get antsy. He wasn’t answering my texts, and I was scared that everything was going to end. I was going to mess this whole thing up, and all over a social media status. In hindsight, I know that I wasn’t really the one responsible for this unnecessary conflict. He was manipulating me to feel like I had to put a title on our relationship. He wanted everyone else to know that they couldn’t have me.

Even though I had mixed feelings about all of this, I decided the mature thing to do would be to come up with a compromise. That was taking the higher road, right?

So I gave him a call, and I told him that I wasn’t going to change my relationship status yet, but if we were still dating after 4 months, I would change it. I thought that was fair, but he was still pretty upset. He kept accusing me of wanting other guys to still think I was available. He kept coming back to the fact that if I was wanting to date him, I wouldn’t care if people knew I was with him. I held my ground, and he finally agreed to the compromise.

As all of this was going on, I wasn’t informing my family of the situation. All I had done all of the break was sing his praises, and I didn’t want to air out my dirty laundry and leave them with a bad impression of him right off the bat. My parents could tell I was being kind of distant, and they thought it was odd that I was spending so much time on my phone. A trip that I thought was going to be one of the best, ended up being a roller coaster of emotions.

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