How to deal with doubts at the start of a romantic relationship
The beginnings of a romantic relationship are (almost) always tinged with uncertainty. What could be more normal if you have known each other for a short time? Even more so if your relationship is important to you and if you want to build a solid relationship. So how do you deal with doubts at the start of a relationship?
Take a deep breath, breathe out now, very well: let’s go for a little recap of our advice to manage doubts at the start of a romantic relationship. Relax, everything will be fine!
The beauty of beginnings and of doubt: a horizon of possibilities and beautiful surprises to discover together!
Indeed, the beginnings of a relationship can cause doubts, because they shake up the habits you had, and force you to integrate a lot of new information, to take into account the fact that you are no longer alone. 😵 What could be more exhilarating when you think about it?
This is a new adventure, it pushes you to step out of your comfort zone, to maybe be less self-centered. In addition, you know that your partner / companion is doing the same on his side, creating for you a place in his life little by little. What a sweet thought! 😇
So, before letting the stress of doubt invade you and wanting at all costs to control everything and settle everything or put in place as quickly as possible to relieve you of this burden, remember that this floating space is necessary for movement and essential to move forward and evolve.
Learn to appreciate this space and see it as a set of new possibilities, which you could not experience while being single. Beautiful horizons are now available to you!
Take your time: move slowly but surely!
You were alone, you are no longer: if you take a few seconds to think about it, you will easily see the magnitude of such a change. 🌪 This is a real upheaval.
It is completely normal to have doubts because if you have just met the person with whom you are moving forward now, half of this gigantic upheaval depends on that person., that is to say factors that are very little or not known. Even if you’ve known this person before, as a friend for example, the nature of your relationship is different now, which leaves a lot of the unknown as well.
For this reason, it is important to do things step by step, quietly. This way, you will be able to better adjust to each other. Take the time to discover yourself, get to know yourself and tame yourself.
Unfortunately, not taking your time is one of the most common mistakes at the start of a romantic relationship.
Going fast at the start of a relationship can be very stressful as you are making big changes in your life with so many unknown variables in the equation. Especially if you haven’t had a romantic relationship before. Furthermore, going too fast risks weakening your relationship and creating tensions from the start, generating misunderstandings and frustrations when we realize that what seemed obvious to us may not be that much, that it would have been better to do things differently, or that we ultimately do not agree to About something that seemed to us to be acquired and spontaneous at the time. ⭐️
Savor the effervescence of the beginnings of a romantic relationship, yes! But don’t get lost, and then take the opportunity to make this early magic last. This time is precious because this is where you are going to build the foundation of your relationship, so don’t rush! Taking your time will also allow you to see the changes coming gradually and to get used to your own pace, without panic!
Dare to speak frankly about your doubts
At the start of a relationship, we can tend to keep our doubts to ourselves, so as not to scare our lover (s) in case of a different point of view, so as not to scare this person away. Indeed, maintaining silence helps protect your fantasies (as well as those of your partner), by veiling our face a little. Pushing back the deadline for a discussion about a doubt you have or something that is bothering you is not a long-term solution (and you know it!).
So we take our courage in both hands, and we dare to say what we have in our hearts, what we are afraid of, what we want, what bothers us, what questions us. Communication is the key to a strong relationship. Be honest with each other, but most of all, be honest with yourself.
Go somewhere romantic or nice where you feel good and take the time to talk about what matters to you.
But here again, be careful not to go too fast and not to put the cart before the horse. Do things in order! (Avoid very serious debates on the first names you want to give to your future joint children 😅 after 72 hours of relationship for example).
If you are not yet ready to talk about it, you can listen to other people engaging through podcasts about love or romantic relationship. It will help you find the words, see it differently, and find a fulfilling solution.
Doubting yourself, doubting the other, doubting a future in common
Self-doubt
Take confidence in yourself! Dare to assert yourself and above all, be careful not to make concessions that go against your needs and your deepest desires. Do not bend over backwards for each other, and as a priority, respect yourself! Be careful not to sacrifice your balance for a sentimental relationship, or to tolerate things that disturb you. In these cases, be clear and do not leave room for doubt: impose yourself.
Doubting the other
Do you doubt your lover? Again, this is normal! Above all, trust yourself, and follow your instincts. Listen to your feelings and learn to tell the difference between a « normal » or « healthy » doubt, due to the fact that it is the beginning of a relationship with someone you know little, and a doubt which must ring like an alarm bell. If the doubt you feel indicates danger (whatever it is), to you or your balance, listen to your instincts and make the decisions that are right for you. By learning to make this difference, you will gradually be able to better manage your doubts, because you will be able to recognize a threat of simple uncertainty or questioning.
Doubting a future in common
Here again, time and communication will allow you to gradually discover if you want the same things, if you are comfortable in this relationship, if you are compatible and if it can become a solid and stable relationship.
In any case, that’s what we wish you!
Finally, if you have any doubts, tell yourself that it is probably also the case for your partner, then do not hesitate to reassure him (or him)!
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