POF : Online dating bad for mental health
Disclaimer: I don’t want this to be a pity party.
Exactly what the title says I’m struggling with my mental health and I don’t think the constant failure on dating sites is helping I’ve been on pof for around 7 years and I’m only 24 for the record but in that time I’ve had success once and it lasted around a week since then nothing it really makes me feel down, I don’t talk to anyone about it cause honestly i view it as pathetic.
I’m not going to big myself up I’m a low quality male, I don’t work out, not alot of money, wasn’t blessed in the looks department I’m balding and receding but damn I thought even someone like me would be able to get somewhere.
TLDR: Failure getting me down.
Edit: Added a photo of myself want peoples thoughts on my appearance as I mentioned im balding and receding so have started buzzing my hair but still not convinced…..
https://i.redd.it/nicsmqmi0jd31.jpg
By. DynastyHeroes
Oh, sweetie, you sound so sad. There are good things about you that your profile should acknowledge. Make sure all the negativity stays out of your POF activity and focus on your good qualities. You don’t have to be perfect to date (good thing for everyone).
Dude, first off… Don’t start with the « low quality male » rhetoric. That’s a slippery slope into incel territory. A friend gave me some good advice. She said, « Live. Don’t look for love. Let it find you ». You’re young, my friend. Just relax. Get out and do social things with other people.
You are sexy with decent facial hair. Do cool photos doing activities and you should be good.
There’s nothing wrong with the way you look. It’s all about how you carry yourself. I tried POF for over 2 years with 0 success and rarely a reply. It was terrible for my mental health. I’ve had better interactions with girls in real life.
Firstly, if you feel online dating is hazardous for your mental health, step away from it. Your mental well being is more important than getting a date. You may want to take a break from trying to get women to like you and focus on getting YOU to like you.
As for your looks, from a straight man’s perspective, you’re a normal looking dude. You’re being too hard on yourself! Based on what you’ve shared, your lack of confidence is certainly holding you back more than your appearance.
TALK TO A FRIEND OR RELATIVE ABOUT THIS! It’s not pathetic at all. Lots of people struggle to find dates.
Most importantly: Find peace in yourself. Get some professional help if you can. Focus on friends and family, people who love you unconditionally. Rediscover your best qualities. Try to love yourself more. Then consider putting yourself back out there – the best version of yourself that you can find!
I hope you feel better soon, man.
I’m not sure that my mental health was that great before I started online dating
OLD is OLD. Stop being emotional (easier said than done) about chasing poon.
By using a systematic numbers based approach you will take the emotion out of finding a girl. You can’t have any faith in girls so have faith in the numbers. More contacts will equal more dates. Each no is a step to yes.
You’re average looking so you should have no issues.
Be sure to be happy doing things for and by yourself. Stop being a fucking pussy. It took me too Goddamn long to stop worrying about poon. If you’re happy with you doing what YOU want to do, you will attract the poon. You set the date, time, and location. Do not vary from that formula.
When I get a last-minute cancel I always tell the girl to go fuck herself. And I do not care what the excuse is. Time is an enemy and an ally, make time your ally.
Set standards, adult standards. Don’t settle.
Be a man.
I understand how difficult OLD is. By taking emotion out of it? It becomes easy. It takes time of course.
I never lack for a girlfriend. If I do, I do things by myself, I don’t fucking care. I have dated a few shit-bags, but that’s normal for OLD. There are a lot of shitbags online.
Good luck and may Gawd grant you a blow job from a pretty girl!
Small weekly workouts will make a big difference, you don’t need to be John Cena.
It is what it is, online dating is literally a market for women who get at least ten messages a day from men looking for various things, they are all in high demand, if you are easily discouraged by finding it difficult to connect with someone then this is not something you should tangle with without a really stoic approach.
​
Its not that you are not worth it, its that there are a dozen other men a week who are average trying to talk to every woman in the local area to find someone, its like playing the lottery every week.