The DNA of desire: how does physical attraction arise?
On paper it is the / the ideal partner (e) but there you are, you do not feel anything. Conversely, he / she is not at all your style, you do not fully assume the desire you feel for this person, but it is so: a force attracts you irresistibly and physically towards him / her. How is it possible ? Let’s learn about the laws of attraction.
It’s natural: sexual attraction is a matter of biology and chemistry
Here, we are in control of nothing. It is the irrepressible desires that are expressed.
- Pheromones act as messengers between individuals, they partly create physical attraction. Released by skin, sweat, saliva, these hormones would inform human beings within our perimeter of our readiness to reproduce (depending on our compatibility and our fertility).
- Hormones follow, and many areas of the brain activate and secrete dopamine (motivation), endorphin (pleasure, euphoria), serotonin (well-being) and oxytocin (attachment) throughout the body. The latter is a good friend because, as Dr. Paul Zak explains, in addition to explaining physical contact, she also reduces cardiovascular stress and improves our immune system. All this associated with the peaks of release of sex hormones (estrogen and testosterone), and the desire is there.
- The survival side of the species which, as Jean-Pierre Ternaux, neurobiologist at the CNRS, says, escapes reasoning, means that we are more attracted to people with an immune system different from ours. The goal is to promote the complementarity between our genetic capital and that of the other. Clever, but beware: a good parent (a good parent) is not necessarily a good lover (a good mistress), or a good parent!
- The brain area responsible for judgment is on standby the moment we fall in love. This explains that !
- A genetic heritage : our history is written in our genes and programs us in a certain way. This is what would explain the famous phenomenon of « love lasts three years ». Indeed, once reproduction is assured, we have a kind of programming to ensure the development of the child until his autonomy. This period is about 3 years… Then, nothing forces the parents to stay together. Genetics then gives way to the psychic with the construction of the couple and another form of attachment linked to reason.
But then, the plastic would have nothing to do with it? The resemblance to a parent either?
It’s cultural: love is a matter of taste and alchemy
“Analyzing love and desires in terms of brain imaging is again impossible, but yes, we are already starting to observe how the body reacts. However, love is part of the social context, that of emotions, fantasies and miracles, it is all this that maintains the myth ”, concludes Jacques Diezi, professor in the department of pharmacology and toxicology at the University of Lausanne.
Because we are not animals like the others and we put behind the word « love » many other concepts. Thus, it is no longer just a question of erotic desire linked to our primary instincts, we no longer simply express our animality but our humanity. And there is still the great mystery. We love for lots of reasons we don’t know.
There are psychosociological factors (religion, education, parental model), but it is also a question of timing: at a given moment two projections / needs fit together well, and this creates love, the couple.
Sometimes it’s a simple gesture, an attitude, a way of holding or running your hand through your hair, which reminds us of the images that we have associated with desire throughout our life, that of a first love, a vague resemblance to the father or the mother, or simple reminiscences of childish fantasies. He or she represents what we are looking for at a time T, and then desire, a prerequisite for physical love, gives way to feelings, to love itself.
Desire or love? You will find out one day!
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