Tinder : Story Time – Week of August 19, 2019
Feel free to use this thread to discuss all of your Tinder dates from the past week.
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Feel free to use this thread to discuss all of your Tinder dates from the past week.
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Matched with someone maybe like 2 months ago now (?). Had a bit in common and met up I think 2 or 3 days after matching and clicked pretty easily.
Sometimes I feel too nervous in romantic or sexual situations and it really takes me a while to open up, but I was already teasing him like we had known each other a long time.
First time meeting up and realizing he isn’t a psychopath, I go back to his and we have sex. After, we have one of those deep late-night talks. He asked what I was looking for and I said I’m not into relationships because they make me nervous and I feel trapped. And he said good, cause he wasn’t either and that he had just got out of a LTR.
We hang out multiple times/week (often resulting in me spending the night). And he said he likes to be monogamous even if we aren’t in a relationship. He had originally said he doesn’t care if I sleep with other people though.
I can’t help but catch feelings. But I feel like I’m only catching feelings because I *want* him to have feelings for me and not because I actually have feelings for him. I struggle with relationships and recognizing my own emotions.
I think it would be best to just keep things as they are. I overthink everything though. Even though we declared how things were from the start, I can’t help but feel like it needs further definition. But I’m not going to be the one that brings up that conversation.
Update on Guy 1: A (not so brief) rundown of how this is been going
Matched on July 26th. Talked quite a bit that night and I got drunk while we were texting, which led to sexting. Had a fun night.
That Saturday I messaged him and asked if he wanted to hang out, and he did. We went back and forth a bit but decided he’d pick me up and we’d go back to his place and have some drinks.
I was waiting outside for him, stupid nervous as he was my first tinder meetup ever. He later told me he drove past me to make sure I didn’t look crazy and circled around, lol. I got in the car and was stunned…he’s soooo hot!
We had a blast a his place. Conversation flowed easily, he has great taste in music, and we played some darts. I drank waaaaay to quickly and got drunker than I have in decades. Spent a good hour puking in his beautiful house. Afterwards I sobered up a bit and we had some pretty fun sex. I left around 3am (friend picked me up).
That Tuesday I messaged him to apologize for puking and ask what my chances for a do-over were. He said definitely a 10/10 chance. Sweet! We made plans for that Saturday.
Saturday comes and we’re texting off an on throughout the day about how excited we are. I go to the pool and tell him I’ll be ready at 7. The time for us to meet rolls around and he doesn’t answer. WTF?! He messages me 3hrs later that he’s super sorry and he fell asleep. I’m was pretty disappointed but like to give 3 strikes before telling someone to fuck off. Tell him to message me some other time.
A week goes by and it’s radio silence. It’s Saturday again, around 7 at this point. I randomly message and ask how life is going. He immediately texts back and we talk for a bit before deciding to hang out. Same story, back to his house for drinks and sex. This was the night he got pretty sappy on me but I wasn’t complaining. We were sitting on the couch listening to music, not saying anything, and he kept kissing the top of my head which is super sweet. Then he took my hand and intertwined our fingers and was rubbing his thumb over mine. I could feel myself catching feelings. I slept over and left around 8am, he apologized for getting so drunk (I’m assuming to cover up the sappy behavior)
That Monday he messaged me around 11pm which was shocking because he never really messages me. He again apologized for being so drunk and i said, “if you’re worried about the sappy shit, don’t be. I know you were just being drunk dork” He replied with, “damn dude. I guess.” Not sure what to take from that but oh well. We talked until 4am and it was a lot of fun.
Wednesday comes and same thing. He messaged me around 10pm and we talked for hours, probably until 2am. I asked him to send me some music for my playlist (he really does have great taste) and he sent me all kinds of sappy songs, but in his defense it’s what he listens to. He sent one in particular and asked if I remembered it to which i said I did and that i liked it. He said no, listen to it again and get back to him. I totally missed his hint there but the song was about missing you when you’re gone so I feel like there was hidden meaning there possibly. I’m so bad at picking up on hints.
We set up to hang out on Saturday again. Friday rolls around and i work 5mins from his house so he asked me to stop down real quick before his son got home. I’m my own boss so I left, gave him head and went back to work, lol. He asked me to come back when I was done around 11. I did and stayed til about 6am. I told him i wanted him to tell me to stop talking to my other tinder guys. He said he thought i already did. Haha, good shit!We both had to be up at 8 so I wasn’t sure if we’d make it for our meetup the next day since we’d be so tired.
Saturday comes and he picks me up. We drink, play darts, chat, and have sex as usual. We were pretty drunk and messing around and he gets a tinder message from a girl. I was joking around with him about it and then he gets a match. We were both laughing about it and decided to delete tinder, but we were super drunk and just deleted the app instead of our actual accounts. We figured this out when we were sober and i know i deleted my actual account but i can’t guarantee he did but i hope so. I absolutely love the time i spend with him. His dogs are fantastic and his house is gorgeous, like I genuinely enjoy being with him. I left around 8am Sunday but forgot a book I wanted to borrow from him.
We chat off and on Sunday. Nothing much Monday. We keep trying to find time for me to grab the book but our schedules aren’t lining up.
Yesterday he messages me around 9pm and we talk off and on until about 2am. He asks me to come over and I gladly accept. Super quick, back home an hour later because sometimes that’s fun too. We still talked until 4am until I told him I wanted to read some of that book and go to bed. I managed to work up the courage to ask if he wanted to go to a local amusement park for a few hours and just ride some coasters for a few hours then leave and go have drinks. Surprisingly he said he’d love to!
Seriously like this dude a lot. Really having a great summer with him.
So I’ve matched with what appears to be a very attractive lady. Fake boobs, in shape, the whole shabang. Thing is i think she may be trans. Now i dont have anything against this but that isnt for me. Whats the best way to approach this to find out? usually Trans people put it in their bio but she doesn’t have anything.
This is definitely my worst tinder date so far
So I’ve (f38) been on tinder off and on forever and just recently started using it again and have been getting like ten matches a day and it’s hard to keep up and I’ve met five new men in the past two weeks (separate stories). So I match a man (m42) about three weeks ago and reply when I have time which is about every 3 days or so. We switch to text early in the week and text off and on. So Friday he asks if I want to meet for coffee on Saturday and then maybe go out that night too. We agree on 12-1 on Saturday for coffee.
First he starts texting Saturday morning and saying he will be there around 11 I had already told him I was busy until 11:30 so I just told him I would be there soon. I arrive at a place he chose at 11:50 and he barely says hi and informs me he’s going to get the self serve drip. I drove all the way down there I’m getting an espresso darn it. So he goes outside to wait as I stand in line alone to get my drink. I find him outside sitting at a table with wet chairs I say “should I grab some napkins the chairs are wet” it’s been pouring for two days straight this isn’t dew. He pulls the chair out and says “the edges aren’t wet” I think ok I’ll sit my ass on two inches of chair dude. We sit and he tells me the coffee takes too long here that’s why he does self serve. So obviously he has no interest in spending time with me. He then suggests we walk to the market and I say ok. While walking he hardly talks and I try to make conversation but at this point why bother. He then burps very loudly and doesn’t say excuse me. He then has to stop at an atm so I again stand alone twiddling my thumbs.
We get to the market and I ask him if he’s going for something specific and he says “we are going to see my mom”! I almost fell over right there. While walking up to his mom he asked me how to pronounce my name lol. We stood and waited for his mom to be free and then I had a better conversation with her in 5 minutes than I would ever have with him. I then say I have to go and we step out of his mom’s area. He proceeds to invite me out later and suggests I wear “less clothing” later.
I walked back to my car alone cursing the heavens the entire way and wondering what the fuck just happened. About two hours later he texted to tell me I’m “very pretty” and his mom thinks I’m “really nice”. Oh and he also invited me to his pool so he could “see me in a swimming suit”.
TLDR: man invited me on a date, let me stand in line alone for coffee, chose wet seats, burped in my face, introduced me to his mom, and asked me to wear less clothing on our next date
Got an update for you guys on “Mother Nature” girl. Yeaaah that’s going to be her identifier now, sadly. So I decided to go through with hanging out with her regardless of her having her time of the month. I already knew going in this might change the way she looks at me and how our current “casual” arrangement is.
Anyways, she thought it was pretty cool of me to still want to hang out and she was excited. We went for some dessert and then afterwards chilled by the lakeshore for a bit. This allowed us to have some more meaningful conversation as the lake sort of set a different tone. We made out here and there in between conversation and she ended up saying to me “wow, we actually have a lot in common.” Cue the “fuck, has this date potentially changed our dynamic now?” As I said in a previous post, I would not be opposed to exploring something more serious with this girl.
Even after the date, for the first time ever, she reached out to me first. This would lead me to believe she’s starting to get more interested in the potential of something other than just casual.
I am completely tampering my expectations, and will continue to see this as a “casual” thing. The worst thing I can do right now is to quickly escalate things. Just have to let it happen naturally.
Oh yeah, we also have tentative plans to go to a fair in the city sometime within the next week.
My most recent match was a married girl who kept that private til we started talking. This app is just as deflating as the bar. At least the drinks are cheaper at my place.
How question for the women, how important is the bio for you? If it’s lame is it a automatic no?
I just got banned from tinder and not sure why. My most recent conversations have been pretty innocuous tbh and I haven’t offended anyone that I know of or broken any rules. Found a thread that says it’s algorithm-based – I’ve been pickier lately, is it really just that I’m swiping left too much? I still actively engage with people.
If I do somehow get my account back will my matches still be there??? I was really hoping to do something this week god damn it
So I’ve been lurking on this sub for some time and finally got some balls and made an account. I do ok on tinder — I get a lot of matches, but rarely do guys actually message me. I have no problem messaging first, especially if they have a good bio, but that also rarely gets a response. I’ve become really sick of the whole dating app thing recently, especially tinder. I just found it exhausting, especially because guys will make plans and then bail on me/ghost so it’s actually rare for me to go on an actual date.
Anyway, so I match with this guy early last week and after briefly talking on the app we add each other on snap. I couldn’t meet up until Saturday night, so the entire week leading up to the date we were more or less snapping and sexting, flirting shamelessly with each other, so there was a lot of anticipation going into it. He wanted to meet up near the place he was staying (he was only here for the summer) so he chose this dive bar. The music was blaring and we could barely hear each other so after spending ten minutes there, he suggested we go back to his place for a glass of wine. So we head over to his place. We were on the couch drinking wine, totally vibing and then he makes a move to kiss me, so we start making out. And then one thing leads to another and it gets hot and heavy real fast and we head to his room.
The sex was pretty good — not the best I’ve had, but it was satisfying. I stayed the night but left early in the morning — and I would have left before he woke up but I couldn’t figure out how to get out of the apartment (it was one of those weird locks and I’m a moron) so I had to wake him up to tell me what to do. I felt bad about it, and texted him as much when I let him know I got home safe and that I was down to meet up before he left town (he was leaving Wednesday, so I offered to meet up the following night). He texted me back and said that he’d let me know if he could meet up. Based off of previous times I’ve gone out on tinder dates, I knew the likelihood he’d actually try to meet up again was slim so I was unsurprised when I didn’t hear from him the rest of that Sunday.
Then, on Monday night, I had an event I had to go to that was near his place, so I reached out that morning and told him that I’d be down to meet up after if he was free. He texted back saying he’d be down but that he would have to check his schedule and let me know. Again, didn’t hear from him the rest of the day so I assumed he wasn’t interested. My event ended very late and I wasn’t rushing to go home and the food at the event was sparse, to say the least, so I went to a bar that I knew was open to grab some much needed nourishment. As I’m sitting there, solo, I see this guy all the way down the bar also eating by himself. He was cute in a nerdy sort of way — exactly my type — and after sitting there for a bit contemplating going over there, I finally plucked up the courage to walk over there. We hit it off immediately — he was so easy to talk to and the conversation just flowed so naturally and there was sparks and chemistry. He was in town for a job interview and was only there that night so he asked me if I wanted to get out of there and go back to his hotel.
We get back to his hotel and he makes his move and even though I was demurring like, “no guarantees we’re having sex” because I was not prepared to meet someone randomly that night (I was not wearing a sexy bra at all lol), we quickly move past making out to clothes coming off and condoms being put on. The sex was mind blowing — by far the best sex of my life. My body is very sensitive so I orgasm pretty easily, but the orgasms this guy was giving me…holy fucking shit. And I could tell that this guy was also really into what I was doing — even having me stop giving him head so he wouldn’t cum so fast. Anyway, his flight was noon the next day so he asked me to stay the night, but I knew I had to get home (I’m a mom of 2 kids and wasn’t expecting to be out the whole night), so he walks me back to my car. As I get settled in my car, he walks away and I try to start it, to no avail — my battery was dead. I ran back after him, asking for his help because I was alone on a deserted city street with a dead car at 3 in the morning. He was a gentleman, so he agreed and as I call my insurance company for some help, he tries to flag down the occasional car that passes to see if they have cables to jumpstart my car. Thirty minutes later, a traffic cop car happens to roll down the street and saved me, jumpstarting my car. The guy from the bar and I had exchanged numbers before I left so when I got home, I texted him thanking him for an amazing night and apologizing for the car fiasco.
That was 5 am this morning and I haven’t heard from him all day. I feel like I fucked it up somehow with the whole car situation. And unlike my tinder date from Saturday night, it actually really bothers me that he is ghosting me because I really like him — like it’s rare for me to be into a guy this much because I’m not looking for a relationship so I’m fine with casual encounters. But I’ve been bummed all day. Like I expect disappointing post-date behavior from a tinder date, but not from a guy I met randomly who I had an amazing night with. It’s not like I want a relationship right now, nor should I be dating anyone seriously, but the connection and chemistry we had was electric and I definitely want to see him again when he’s in town next. But considering he hasn’t texted me back, I’m guessing that will never happen and I’m left thinking what the hell did I do wrong?
Anyway tl;dr: I had a mediocre tinder date one night and then the next night I randomly picked up an amazing guy at the bar and proceeded to have mindblowing sex. But now have been ghosted by both guys.
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So it’s been a while since I’ve matched with someone who has really sparked my interest but I’ve been talking to this guy for over a week now and he seems pretty cool but he lives 45 mins away (not sure why tinder shows me these profiles when I have my distance set to 10 miles smh). He’s not able to meet up for another couple of weeks because we have opposite work schedules and he’s going on a trip at the end of the month. We haven’t planned anything concrete but he often talks about doing things together in the future based off of our mutual interests.
I don’t usually like to wait that long to meet someone especially because we’ve been texting almost every day (and we’re best friends on snap) so what if we meet up and it’s a bust and we have nothing to talk about?
I’m not sure if he’s just bored and wanting a texting buddy and has no intentions of meeting up? I am just wary because I feel like he might be idealizing me a little bit and I’m trying not to do that with him.
I find it humorous when you slam a failed match, then they messafe you back some zinger while unmatching you. I want to read the hate ladies, can’t see your comeback if you unmatch!
21m visiting Montreal for a week. Matched with ~30 people in the first two days on bumble, maybe 10 messaged in time. I’m talking to this one girl who is also visiting from the US just before she goes back to start college. We meet up the same night for some drinks. She’s really cute and I could tell she’s a little nervous but the drinks loosen us up a bit. Turns out we have really similar tastes in music and other interests so conversation is flowing. Her being fairly new to drinking, starts getting drunk pretty fast and can’t stop mentioning how drunk she is (we have maybe 4 drinks). It was kind of cute but I started getting a little worried this might not end up well.
After some drinks we take an Uber back to mine and she insists we smoke weed (something that is also pretty new to her) I decide why not and I pack some joints and we go to a local park. We get to the park and smoke. Then she starts feeling sick. Then she starts throwing up. She says she feels a bit better after she finishes and we sit on the bench a little longer and talk. Suddenly she stops talking, like not even responding to me. Then she looks at me with panicked eyes and starts flailing out to reach me and seems to have a panic attack. I try to console her and get her to take deep breaths and then she just starts dry heaving on me. At this point I call 911 and paramedics put her on the stretcher. She’s sobbing and apologizing and I felt really bad because I should have stopped her from drinking so much earlier. I bid her farewell as she goes in the ambulance but at this point she’s pretty much passed out.
Honestly, I’ve had worse dates.
26 year old Male. Been using tinder and bumble for a month since the breakup. Only had a few dates with 1 girl and a couple that I talk to but both are pretty much platonic. I’ve made the mistake of swiping right all the time cause why not? I’ll get more matches. My friend told me about the ELO score so I’m regretting that. When I use the boost option I get matches but no responses. Feeling kinda down on myself bc of the lack of responses, and I think it might be due to poor timing? As I’m usually in bed by 9ish bc of my work and I usually dont send messages until after the morning, anyone have any speculation or thoughts?
I went on a date on Saturday less than 2 hours after matching we had arranged to get drinks. Tinder said she was 2km away from me so when she asked me to meet her at a local bar I know pretty well I agreed. I figured this beats my plans of sitting in my boxers and watching Mindhunter season 2 on netflix while drinking alone. I headed to the bar and got there about 15 minutes early and ordered myself a drink. She then shows up and I was honestly left stunned. She was way more attractive in person than her pictures. We exchanged a hug upon meeting and she ordered a drink. We hit it off instantly. We talked for a good 6 hours while drinking. The subjects ranged from world politics to our mutual love of the Vancouver Canucks (an NHL team if any of you don’t know)
Everything is going so well and as were leaving she asks me if I want to catch a cab back to her place for another drink. Obviously I agree but then she says she has to tell me something before we head back. She told me that her and her boyfriend had broken up 3 weeks ago and still live together and the odds are he would be home when we got there. At this point I’m wanting to just avoid any kind of confrontation and awkwardness that would have resulted potentially with me going back to her place so I politely said no but that I would like to see her again. At this point she freaked out at me. She began yelling at me about why I didn’t want to come back with her and I explained to her that I didn’t feel comfortable going back to her place with her ex boyfriend that she recently broke up with still being there and that I wasn’t in a rush to sleep together and that I would like to get to know her better. After I said this she accused me of saying she was a slut. Which I denied but there was no reasoning with her drunk train of thought so I told her that I was going to go home now and began walking home. While doing this she was yelling profanities at me and was saying she would take home some other guy instead because I and I quote “Wasn’t man enough to fuck her”
I am taking a break from tinder for a while. I barely get any matches and when I do half the time the dates end up disastrously.
I’m honestly starting to question myself did I do the right thing here? I thought I was being respectful. My minds so messed up over all this and I also had a bad experience on Monday last week that I commented about on last weeks thread. I think I’m just going to take a break from swiping. It’s almost like I have this magnet that attracts unstable people to me or something.
I have a date scheduled for tomorrow, the first one I’m actually exited about since my ex dumped me!
I went on two first dates that were really just me forcing myself to try and get over my ex/trying to hook up that were so uninspired and went nowhere, even got stood up twice, but I’m actually interested in this new girl as a person. She also said she was excited to meet me. We matched on both hinge and tinder, and she seemed interested in my taste in music, which I know is so surface level, but I have odd taste, so it’s super nice to hear.
Kinda all over the place with this post, but it just feels so good to actually be back in the game/a good headspace/feel excited in this way about a date!
The girl that went to Armenia came back but I didn’t end up picking her up from the airport cause she forgot about timezones and came back while I was at work. The next day I met her after work and then she came over for a bit. She’s terrible at texting so I didn’t know if she was actually coming until right when I left work. That Saturday she came with me to an 80s party and it went way better then I thought. She got along with my friends and is really good at getting conversations going with strangers. We were together most of the night but it was nice seeing her be able to socialize on her own and have fun. She ended up sleeping over st my house. We were gonna sleep in and then get breakfast but her brother was worried about her since he’s never met me and my town is a little out of the way so I drove her home around midday. Before getting out my car we made plans to drink with my best friend and his girlfriend but since then I haven’t heard from her so who knows what’s gonna happen. She’s bad at texting but also updated her tinder (I hate that it pops up in the feed) even if it’s done with the few times we hung out this week were amazing. I hope it’s not done but at least it was fun while it lasted
A year ago or so I matched with a really cute girl who lived across the world by using Tinder Gold’s location changing function. Let’s call her L. We got talking and added each other on social media. As time went on, L kinda just stopped replying, so I also stopped.
Flash forward to earlier this year, L posted a picture on social media. The post had a GPS location attached to it, and it looked really familiar, too familiar. So I check the location, and it was literally one street down from my family home!
So I messaged her asking wtf! And L told me that she was visiting a friend she met while volunteering, and she would be leaving on the last day of the month – the very day I return to that town.
So naturally we met, had a great time. And I found out that L’s friend went to the same university as I did, and her sister was in my six form (high school).
Me and L got really close after this. However we never hooked up or dated for many reasons. I thought she would remain to be a friend of mine for a long time.
Then she sent a selfie of us two to her mother, who thought i was “exceptionally good looking and has a reliable aura” (no really though I am at best 6/10). She insisted to meet me. So during my summer vacation, I went to L’s country and met her mother. When she learnt that me and L aren’t or planning on dating. She then insisted to be my “second mother” or whatever you call it in English. Which I agreed to after I asked my real mother’s opinion and permission.
So to sum it up, I met a cute girl online, ended up becoming her semi-brother and found me an extra mother in a different country. All is good though. You can’t make this shit up.
Went on 2 dates with this tinder girl. Had a 5 hr first date and feel like we really hit it off. Got a hug after the 2nd date which she paid for while I had the first one. We pretty talk all day and I got gold heart status with her on snap already. Just worried that I might be friend zoned or am I just stupid?
My friend once bought me Tinder Gold, now I swear they’re showing me 80% matches that are way out of my league (but also not really my type) to try to get me to buy it again.
Also their location searching is wack. Got a bunch of matches on my trip out of town… on the last day before I left. I guess I have some opportunities waiting for me when I return?
Going on a second date this weekend and I’m excited!!
Any tips or tricks on getting him to kiss me at the end of this one? I don’t want to seem to forward and just say “You can kiss me if you want”.
3 months in 0 matches
So early in the summer I matched with some guy on tinder. We flirted, maybe sent a saucy snap or two, but it fizzled out and I hadn’t heard from him since June. This weekend, I started talking to a guy on Hinge and we were hitting it off nicely and I’m hopeful about meeting him. Anyway, one of the guys in his pics looked familiar, so I cross referenced with the guy from early in the summer and they’re friends and roommates. I figure, guys don’t typically care about that kind of thing and I haven’t heard from the first guy in a while so whatever. THEN yesterday, out of the blue, the first guy messages me and tries to start up again. They were totally cross-referencing, weren’t they?
Just curious- what was the longest time you had talked to someone off of tinder until you finally met them in real life? And how did you maintain interest between then and how did you guys finally meet?
I’ve been talking to this girl for 2 weeks now and we have amazing chemistry, and I’m soooo restless to meet her in person but she’s always busy….
Well, with a fwb secured I think it’s time for me to bid farewell to these apps for a little while. I regret knowing that one day I will have to download them again. Dating is hard man. It’s harder to improve because everything about it seems contradictory. Some say chemistry takes time to develop, others say you need to feel it right away. Some say use texting for logistics only and others will take little texting as a sign of no interest (which in my case has almost always proven to be right). Even now I’m trying to set up date #2 with one last person (different from the fwb) who’s taking ages to reply. Who wants to bet she’ll be interested in date #3? Not me. Then again, I’m not sure if I’ll be myself. I’m almost tempted to cancel because I just don’t feel it’s worth the effort. Anyway back to my main point, some dates the conversation just flows, you kiss, they say they had a wonderful time and you never hear from them again, other dates none of that happens but they want to see you again (and do if you’re up for it).
It’s all random, bizarre, and almost nonsense. I think I’m glad to be rid of it for a while. I used read your stories and find comfort that others are going through the same ups and downs (mainly downs) as me but it just makes me sad now because it’s just proof of how twisted dating is. I’ll still visit these threads though. I love the support people give each other here. It’s beautiful. :’)
Whenever I leave my current state I get way more matches. I think the state I live in just sucks!
used to get a lot of matches, then fewer, now maybe a match a day. went to a different city and got literally 13 in a minute of swiping. Is this what being a girl feels like? tinder’s algo is fucked. After this I been worried and started learning if there’s anything I can do. Google this phrase « **Tinder O Plus » <** Told me How to Get more matches using few tricks in my Bio and photos recommendation. These guys are really experts at dating :D.
Had a really good experience so far, installed it 3 weeks ago and on first day I met really good girl we went out and sadly it didnt work out but we split up nicely, now I got back to Tinder and I got some chats and I hope for more. Sounds so regular, but in my country Tinder is not so popular and people have mostly don’t even know about it. I should move to USA to test it out for more success.