5 golden rules to better talk about yourself
Love and relationships
It is true that we do not always know how to behave in public or with relatives and talking about oneself is a very delicate question.
Either we do too much, or we tend to withdraw: in both cases, this can make others want (or rather little desire) to talk to us again!
If you have already experienced this situation, or that it is familiar to you, here are some tips to learn to talk about yourself without disgusting others!
1. Be humble when you talk about yourself.
What often tends to repulse your interlocutors is that you believe yourself “above the others” and that you are in a form of power struggle, where you are, of course, the dominant person.
This type of reflex, which is often accompanied by a dismissive or superior demeanor, goes very badly with those around you, near or far, and that’s normal.
Imagine talking about a project carried out within your company. By taking credit for the decisions and the total success of it, you will come across as someone arrogant.
Also, people who disgust other people tend to put others down, making remarks on any subject: “hey, still single you?”, “Oh, you’re really not insightful, unlike me” .
To remedy this, you just need to be humble.
Always keep in mind that people are in a best listening position if the discussion goes both ways:
- Someone who talks about himself constantly without listening to others, will no longer be listened to
- Someone who does not question his interlocutors about their state of mind, will no longer be questioned
And besides, speaking of listening, you must know how to listen to your interlocutors, especially depending on your audience. You don’t have to adopt the same attitude with your friends, coworkers, or family.
2. See things collectively, not individually.
Nothing is more annoying than a person who only talks about themselves, over and over again …
Worse, someone who does not see the contribution of others in his life or his work.
It is all more restrictive when you are in the professional world : once you have the label of the colleague or the egocentric leader, difficult to get rid of it!
Look at these two sentences instead: “yes, fortunately I was there to supervise this project, otherwise it would not have held up” and “fortunately we have a united team which made it possible to carry out this project well”.
In the first case, you seem to imply that you don’t need anything or anyone to move forward, and best of all, you are a great savior. But this kind of talk is particularly annoying, especially at work.
Remember that on the contrary: all alone, you would be very little! We must therefore learn to take some distance from yourself, and put the others back on a pedestal (next to you, of course).
You can for example practice some exercises, as :
- Stop using the first person singular for a day or half a day
- Give at least 5 compliments in the same day, to different people
- Make a list of the things you want to tell, and to which people
In this way, you will learn to think about others two or three times before you think only of yourself. This reflex will help you become a valuable interlocutor.
3. Talk about relevant things.
Each audience is different because of their interests. You are not going to discuss the same things with your loved ones as with your friends or coworkers.
It is therefore important, for capture your audience and interest them, to use topics in line with your audience.
For example, talking about your relationship issues at work can annoy others sometimes, especially if you are in a complaining attitude.
Same thing with work affairs with friends: depending on everyone’s job, the interest in discussing such and such a hot topic will not necessarily be shared.
You must also stop any frills and theatricalization in your debates and conversations. Stop always dramatizing, making fun of others or even talking about anecdotal things. Or, at least, identify if you have the right audience in front of you.
4. Have a little self-deprecation.
To change the subject or entertain an audience, nothing like to be self-deprecating to relax them and put them in a listening condition.
But beware, the exercise of self-mockery is sometimes perilous, because it depends on:
- The opinion or prejudices that people in front of you have about you
- From the precise situation
- The type of self-mockery practiced
It happens very often that we “do nothing” during a conversation, but as long as you are a valued interlocutor and listening to others, it is not something you will be held against.
On the other hand, if you have a habit of putting others down or being egotistical, your audience will take this opportunity to let you know how not funny you are but, even worse, will use it to avoid all of this. continued discussion with you.
To succeed, your self-mockery must rest:
- Either on a light subject, or on a very personal subject: this prevents your interlocutors from having too decided an opinion on the question raised
- Arrive at the right time: This “perfect time” story is not always obvious, but your joke / self-mockery always needs to have meaning with the ongoing conversation, and an interest in the person listening to you.
But to stop disgusting others when you talk about yourself, attitude is also very important.
5. Adopt the attitude of a positive, charismatic leader.
Admit it: you want to listen more to someone who is smiling, agreeable and listens to others, than someone who is insensitive, arrogant and self-centered, don’t you?
Well, think that way every time you get ready to talk to yourself.
Therefore, think about others in a positive way will help you better position your speeches, and attract the attention of those around you.
Proceed as follows:
- Every morning, tell yourself that you have become what you are thanks to your work, of course, but also thanks to those around you.
- Remember to be grateful to the people who have contributed to your personal or professional success
- Adopt a benevolent outlook towards those around you
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With this mindset, you will easily manage to hold a discourse that will no longer be centered only on your own person, but also on that of others.
No more egocentricity, place for frenzied discussions where your interlocutors will not want to let go!
So when do you start?
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