6 techniques to convince someone in writing (by email, chat or SMS)
In the 21st century, we have all already needed to convince an interlocutor in writing. Whether it is an SMS, an e-mail, a conversation on Facebook or even a carrier pigeon (you do what you want…).
Are there levers to influence, convince, or even manipulate someone writing it down – for example asking them to do you a favor? Without the sound of the voice, without touching it, without the look… it’s different. No more difficult, but different. Let’s see together 6 techniques (and a bonus at the end) to manipulate and convince in writing.
1. See your pitch as an impenetrable fortified castle
The written word brings a major advantage over the oral: time for reflection. When I have to convince someone in writing by e-mail for example, I take the time to write a message that “blocks” each of their doubts, each of their questions.
See your argument as a fortified castle. Your interlocutor will be able to seek by all means to find an opening to pass if he does not want to be convinced naturally. Your arguments are your defenses. No one should pass.
This implies 2 things:
- You have to really make the effort to put yourself in the place of your interlocutor, and imagine everything that could prevent him from being convinced by your proposal.
- You need to be clear about each of your arguments. Bullet lists are a great way to go! Nothing better than a smart list which gradually dispels the person’s doubts.
Small example, if you are looking to lend you a car by a friend :
- I’ll pick up your car tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. sharp. I know you have to leave at 8:15 for work, and I’ll be on time. If I’m late, too bad for me. I’ll take you to work and keep the car for the day.
- I am very careful on the road, and where I go there is secure parking. Your car will be safe.
- My insurance is up to date so even in the worst-case scenario (which won’t happen), I’m covered.
- I will return the car to you at 4:30 p.m. at your work, I will keep you informed by SMS. And I will refuel!
2. Chew up the work, make it simple for your interlocutor
Second important technique: when you try to convince in writing, you must “pre-chew” all the efforts on your interlocutor. Don’t leave a choice, don’t offer an alternative, don’t leave any decision. It is wasted time, and above all, it is a way for the person to get rid of themselves (in other words, it is a loophole in your fortified castle).
The less choice you give to your interlocutor, the easier his decision will be. You put everything in front of him, from A to Z. There is no doubt. The person simply has to say “yes” or “no” to you. It avoids friction in decision-making (“oula, he asks me that? I’m not sure how I’m going to help him”) or excess laziness (“he asks me that but I’m so lazy to plan that!”) .
In the previous example with the car, it is important to plan the requested service from start to finish. It’s better for your friend. If you start asking him “well, how do we do it? What time are you going to work? ”, It started badly.
3. Use only one banana
Famous author Seth Godin explains in his book The Big Red Fez that to make a good website, each page must ask the user not to think to one and only thing. In other words, there should not be 2 forms on the same page. There shouldn’t be 2 ads on the same page. In short, 1 page = 1 objective.
Seth Godin schematizes by saying that the Internet user is a monkey, and that each web page must contain a single banana to attract the Internet user.
I think it’s exactly the same when you are trying to convince someone in writing. Your e-mail, SMS or chat ‘must lead to one and only answer of your interlocutor.
Don’t ask him 36 things at the same time. If you need someone to take you a taxi, for example, don’t ask them in the same message:
- If he agrees to be the driver;
- If he prefers to leave at 3 p.m. or 4 p.m.
- If it bothers him that you bring your dog in his car;
To really convince in writing, your argument must encourage your interlocutor to answer only one and unique question. The most important: “can you take me tomorrow to my meeting at 4:30 pm: yes or no?“.
If you have other requests for him (a time preference, bring your dog, etc.) see that later. 1 argument = 1 banana. No more.
4. The technique of “false freedom”
Something very silly but which still works very well (even after centuries of humanity): false freedom. In other words, formulas like:
- “It’s up to you but if we leave at 4 pm it’s nickel ”;
- “do as you feel, but everything is already ready for July 15th ”
- “You are free to participate, but it’s going to be great I hope you come! ”
- “If you can’t help me, too bad, but I would be infinitely grateful if you can do something. ”
This technique alone is not enough. To convince in writing, your entire argument must hold up, and that all doubts be dispelled in the person. It is only at the end that you leave this feeling of false freedom. Your interlocutor may unconsciously say to himself: “Okay, I still have a choice, it’s cool. Okay, do I do it or not? ”. If your argument has been good enough, it’s easier to win.
5. We absolutely avoid “but”
It’s difficult, it often takes a formulation effort but it helps get the pill through. If your interlocutor reads your messages in a negative posture (that is to say by wanting to refute all your arguments) then all your “but” will be easily exploitable levers to dismantle your argument.
A “but” in an argument often means “blah, blah but hey here, and that’s where the trouble starts for you ! ”. You can also fall into an accumulation of “corn”:
- I’m writing to you because blah blah But I…
- and then voila blah blah but also I…
- BLA bla but so…
Your interlocutor will just say that you accumulate excuses, the problems, the pitfalls, and that the thing you are going to ask him at the bottom of the email gonna be REALLY terrible.
Choose turns of phrase that avoid “but” :
- “I wanted to go to Nice but the problem is that my car is dead ” ==> “My car has been dead for 2 weeks and i need to go to Nice ”.
- “I need 10 € But I no longer have a sub ” ==> “I am missing € 10”.
This is when you present your problem (see the next point) that “but” should be avoided. It’s not in ALL of your message, but only when you announce the situation and your request. Some “but” have absolutely no psychological impact, it is up to you to dose well.
6. A clear and precise plan
A bit like at school, your “essay” must follow a plan clear enough not to lose your interlocutor.
I often use a plan like this:
- Presentation of the situation: “This is where I am now”. I’m not asking for anything at the moment, we can play on pathos or humor to set the mood. It is important to create the mood at that time, to put your reader in the right frame of mind. You will no longer be able to do this later.
- Presentation of the problem: « You know everything, and here is my problem. » I explain what is the problem, the why of the email. I’m not beating around the bush: I make my request explicitly at this stage. “You must have understood the problem: I absolutely need _______”.
- List of arguments: “You don’t have to worry because…”. I list everything that can protect my “fortified castle”, that is to say every doubt that the interlocutor might express, that must be killed at the outset.
- I end with formulas of false freedom: “If you don’t want to, I will understand”, etc. We let a way out (more or less real) to the person to make them say yes.
And above all: to convince in writing, be charismatic!
The content of your email is important, but you should also learn how to become more charismatic on the Internet. I wrote a post about it that you must read to be sure you know how to convince : Becoming charismatic on the Internet: 8 unstoppable techniques.
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