Dating : I recently asked these questions to my ex-GF I was set to propose to after she broke up with me…

I asked these questions to my ex-GF I was set to propose to after she broke up with me after nearly 1.5 years together.

What happens when the answer you get is, “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. There was nothing you did or didn’t do that made me feel uncomfortable or unhappy. I’m sorry that I never gave you the opportunity to work it out by not having a conversation, or provide any indications I was unhappy. I’m sorry I was selfish and broke up with you via text message rather than driving to your home to do it in person, something you deserved. I’m sorry that I did it just as you were forced to quarantine for the next two months without any friends or family or even coworkers to help provide consolation and that now you’re only contact for over a month is a cat. I’m sorry that I began dating someone wealthier than you less than a week after we broke up, but I swear we weren’t talking prior to then and I ‘just moved on.’ I’m sorry that the last memory of me was me smiling and talking about our future together only to send a text later that ‘we shouldn’t see each other again.’”

I tried for nearly two months, by myself, to look for a positive outcome to my soulmate crushing me at the worst possible time. A time where I was literally by myself, with no friends or family or coworkers to help me through what I FELT as my darkest moments of my life. I wanted to know I did something wrong. I wanted to know that I deserved it. I wanted to know that while I kind, considerate, loving, and attentive that I was still unworthy somehow, that I EARNED this breakup via text message. But she wouldn’t give me anything. She essentially said I was perfect, but not perfect for her. That I didn’t deserve to be crushed, and certainly not crushed in the way she did it but that she can’t take back what she did, as if it would somehow make me feel better.

I didn’t believe in “love at first sight.” I thought it was rubbish and foolhardy — this coming from a hopeless romantic. But, I fell for her the first moment I laid eyes on her on October, 2018. I knew that I would give anything to spend the rest of my life with her, and she surprisingly felt the same way. Then less than four months later, I deployed for a year to the Middle East, came back in January and we had a glorious nearly two months together before the pandemic struck, which coincided with her departure. For the first time in my life, even after all I’ve gone through in my life, including a terrible deployment in 2004, I now truly knew anxiety, depression and heartache.

I had hoped that asking these questions would help me understand what I did wrong. Maybe answer why soulmate crushed me, and in the way she crushed me. Then maybe I can learn to be better, better for someone else. Instead, I can’t help but doubt myself, relationships in general, how to practice “safe dating,” where I don’t get emotionally invested with someone that may not work out later down the road. Attempting to find someone that has the greatest chance for success as if I’m some robot looking for a mate.

I’m glad that you were able to ask these questions, and able to receive the answers you were looking for.