Dating : Bread-crumbed

The dating world is filled with a lot of greys. People are happy to take risks on all fronts, yet no one likes to risk their own heart getting broken. Not even players. Rather, especially players. Most often than not, its assumed that you have to hurt others, in a bid to save yourself. Bread-crumbing often leads to this situation- fortunately though not all the time.

It’s practically feeding a person breadcrumbs, in a bid to leave him/her hungering for the entire loaf. Pretending to pay attention. Pretending to flirt or even actual flirting. With or without an intention to take things forward. Keeping people on the line/ on the hook. Hedging oneself against a potential heartbreak when commitment is not what they want or is something that unlikely to be given to them. We all have been there, done that- when we were not sure. But I am sure as decent human beings, we knew where to draw boundaries. Problem begins when there aren’t any.

It could be physical- booty calls, it could be verbal- flirting, it could be through gestures too- continuous playful smiles, hovering around, constant staring from afar. It could be any or all of this. Things that tantamount to mixed signals- that effectively lead someone on, but at the same time keeps them in the dark about where the relationship is heading.

Its fine when you are yet to start a relationship with anyone. When you are yet to even date and don’t know how to gauge someone or want to ignite interest in the hope for mutual attraction. Its ok as long as you plan to approach them if they reciprocate. That way this is a natural precursor to a relationship.

If you are using someone as your relationship lab rat to find out how well you can manipulate someone- then you might need to know that this is a form of emotional torment- when your real intentions starts dawning on them. They know they have been played with, their hopes kindled only to experience wholesome frustration- emotional and sexual. It messes actively with their hopefulness and sense of self worth.

If you are a committed man, then ANY breadcrumbs that you are dropping outside of your relationship is plain straying. Enough said.

If you have been questioning or suspecting someone’s intention’s for a long time- the answer might be available in your gut instinct.

Be cautious if you want to go in for confrontation- if the guy is an extreme narcissist, player or committed ( or any combination of all this), there is a good chance that he will deny things unless you have recorded evidence and strong eyewitnesses who will take your side- if it all you believe the confrontation is worth it.

Try giving non verbal cues. Ignoring is an easy yet effective tool. Do not return those playful smile or glances. Do not flirt in return. Block incoming booty calls. Pretend they don’t exist.

Your experience says a lot about the perpetrator/player. Please note that you are worth so much more than being relegated to crumbs on a dirty plate.

Remember everyone’s worthy of a healthy relationship that includes reciprocation of attraction, love, affection and care. Hansel and Gretel ultimately found their way back, so you will too.