Dating : This is our love story.

How do you know it’s true love? Because you feel free and at home at the same time. — Yung Pueblo

Starting over isn’t part of the deal.

To be honest, I don’t want a do-over. I wouldn’t be here, right here, without all of the things that came before. Of course, it may have been less frustrating to learn a couple of lessons earlier on, but then again, wouldn’t that have meant I might have missed one of these people, one of these lessons, in the sliding doors of life?

So, it’s not starting over. It’s starting here. It’s me, this way, as the only way I ever could have found you.

It’s that moment when you look into someone’s eyes, and you just know. You just know. That’s what people always used to say to me. I didn’t believe them then, because there were too many times that I’d found myself asking, ‘is it this? Is this that feeling they were talking about?’.

‘What about this one? Maybe this is what they meant.’

Then, one day. I did know. And guess what, I was wrong. Well, that’s what I told myself for a long time anyway.

Here’s the thing; you’re never wrong.

All of the things you feel, you feel them because they’re there. So, no, it wasn’t my forever, but that was it. That was the feeling. And that’s how I knew you were out there.

What did it feel like to fall in love with you? It felt like home. Like I’d stumbled upon a place I’d always known.

It felt like something in my heart clicked into place. But not in that ‘you complete me’ kind of way, because that’s fucking bullshit. I’m whole. You, my dear, are the very welcome remix track in the storyline of my life.

The bacon to my eggs. The avocado to my toast. You know, all of those things that are amazing on their own, but that’ll change your damn life when you put them together.

That’s me and you, babe.

I close my eyes and I remember the first time I put my arm in yours. The moment I knew. I looked up at you and I thought, I could change everything right now. And it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I put my arm in yours, and then there was just me and you. There was just us.

At that moment, the feeling of you went from giddy memories of Sunday night dates to the feeling of knowing exactly who will be the one to always have your back.

The feeling that somehow you’re still you, completely whole, completely separate, made up of all of the moments that only you’ve lived. Yet, somehow you’re also a part of this amazing partnership, where you always support each other, where even the hardest times don’t feel lonely because you couldn’t imagine fighting with anyone else, when you just know that you can capture the world because they’ll always, always let you get on their shoulders. That kind of thing. That’s how you feel.

You’re the person I want to wake up next to every day. Every morning, I open my eyes into yours and watch you decide who you’ll be that day. What your life will entail. I hold you when you don’t have the words to say; laugh with you when something crazy happens; hold your hand through both of those moments.

One day, we’re going to wake up and we’re going to decide to have a family. On a Saturday morning, lost in doona covers and pillows I wanted but you didn’t need, we’ll look at each other and decide to have a baby. Or we won’t, and it’ll just happen and it’ll be an amazing adventure. I couldn’t imagine raising a little person to grow up and be the best version of themselves with anyone but you. The best of you, the best of me and, probably, the worst of us too.

No, it’s not perfect. And no, it’s not easy. But how we could grow if it were?

You support me when I’m not sure; when I’m scared; when I feel unsettled and ungrounded; and when I’m off with the fairies, guess who gives me a reality check?

I support you when you feel lost; when you feel angry; when you can’t work something out; and when it all gets a bit too serious, I sure know how to make you laugh.

You feel like home.

You feel like support.

Like a warm embrace, deep in my soul.

Like a light beaming out from my smile, my eyes, all of my face.

Like the way the water sparkles like diamonds reflecting the sun.

Like the way the world feels more content under the pink hues of sunset.

Like the first breath of fresh mountain air.

You feel like the laughter carrying over the water on a summer evening.

You, my dear, are along for the ride. And that makes me smile that smug little all-knowing smile. This is one grand adventure.