POF : Is « hey there » « how are you » or any other variation really that bad?
How much do people really expect out of a greeting? Wouldn’t it make more sense to put effort into the conversation rather than the opening
By. DeathPleaseKnock
How much do people really expect out of a greeting? Wouldn’t it make more sense to put effort into the conversation rather than the opening
By. DeathPleaseKnock
Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.
To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website.
AcceptHere you'll find all collections you've created before.
I have it in my profile that a « hello, how are you » will suffice. No need for the bullshit, calling me beautiful or some moronic crap like « hey sexy » « aye queen hyd » or whatever these bums think women want to hear.
Gauge me and go from there. Had a dude one time message me and his introduction was something like « a first date is to see if there’s chemistry. What is your idea of a perfect date? » First of all, sir: I don’t even find you attractive. I don’t like that. Don’t message me with the assumption that I’m interested just because YOU’RE interested in me. It doesn’t work that way.
My process when I get a “how are you” from a guy:
1. First thought – they didn’t read my profile and probably mass messaging)
2. Glance at profile picture – if nothing immediately puts me off i.e. topless, middle finger etc, move on to step 3
3. Check out profile – I look for basic physical attraction in the rest of their photos, something appealing in the bio and a lack of red flags.
4. Reply based on what I find
5. If interested, I send a “What did you like about my profile?”
6. If not interested, I send a “No thank you, we’re not a match. Good luck” and block.
7. If their bio/pictures are blank, I send a “No thank you, your profile is empty” and block.
8. If they’ve said/shown something blatantly Reed-worthy. It’s a block, no reply.
So basically, “how are you” is pretty bad but it would never be my sole reason to reject someone.
I’m often intrigued by women who put on their profile “don’t just say hi there, put some thought into it”… and later in the same profile state “if I’m not interested, I probably won’t message you back”.
Read as:”I expect some investment from you, random stranger… But please, don’t count on common courtesy in return.”
Personally, I more often just send a like and see if there’s a match forthcoming, THEN craft a nice personal opener if one is. I see sending a low-investment “hi there” as being likely interpreted that that’s the best I can do and will likely be a chore to converse with. Just MHO, but WTFDIK.