Dating : The End of the Tunnel?

Wednesday: What story no longer fits me? What role is too small for me?

I have been living this story for almost eleven years now. I can’t really say that it no longer fits me because I don’t think it ever did. At times I feel like the Golly Green Giant cast in the role of a munchkin in “The Wizard of Oz”. I really have never felt comfortable in this role and I hope I never do. What role or story am I talking about you might ask? I am talking about the title “retired person”. I really don’t know what that means. I know all of you that are working or even worse hoped or wished you were think that I have lost my mind, but listen while I explain.

First of all I don’t see the money, I haven’t in decades. I can look at a thing called a bank statement and see that the number goes up on the first of the month. It did that before. I haven’t gotten an actual paycheck in over thirty years. I liken what is happening now is an actor living on the residuals from his/her creative work. In reality that is what I am doing. My creative work are the students I taught. I knew when I started my career as a teacher that the salary was not that high but I also knew I would be getting money my entire life if I worked until retirement.

One of the jokes I would tell my students was that they thought I was working so hard out of altruism. I would explain that it was totally out of selfishness. Statistically, I would need ten people paying their taxes so I could receive my retirement and social security when I got older. I explained how I didn’t know if it was allowed but I was making a list of ten people that I wanted to specifically take care of me. I was working this hard so they might be on my list and I would have no worries later on.

I also don’t understand this thing about not working. I had a very important profession. I was an educator. I caused people to think, well we all do that. I helped people grow, well we all do that. I contributed to society, well most of us do that. What have I done since I have retired? I have worked on me. I have exercised to work on my physical body and my health. I have daily worked on my thinking. I do puzzles, I read when my mind lets me, and I have helped me grow. I have helped others to grow. I have contributed to society. So truly what is the difference?

True, my day is shorter. I do not have papers to grade, I but I still look to create lessons. The lessons are for me and people I know. I am still helping people to think, I am still helping people to grow. The thing is I am still a teacher. Everybody is a teacher. Everybody, with everything they do, shares a lesson with people that they interact with. The lesson might be “Damn I don’t want to be that person”. Or the lesson might be a parent witnessing something a person is doing and say to their child “See them that is how people should treat others”. So in reality what has changed? I don’t put on a tie anymore, hell, most days I don’t make it out of sweats. But think about it, those zoom meetings you are in, is that guy in a shirt and tie with just his boxers below? Is that why he won’t stand up?

Maybe one day I will think of myself as retired. Until then I will think of myself as a person contributing to society, looking to think and get others to think. Working on growing and keeping healthy. I will be doing what I have basically been doing all my life. The numbers in my bank account keep going up on the first of the month.