Dating : 4 Signs He’s Just Not That into You

When the person you’re in love with makes a move, it’s easy to jump to conclusions about how things will play out.

After all, isn’t this what all the movies teach us? When you find someone you really ‘click’ with, then happily ever after is just around the corner?

Turns out not always.

I’ve learned the hard way that just because someone likes you back, that doesn’t mean they like you — as much as you like them. Just because someone expresses interest, that doesn’t mean that they’re looking for something serious.

Sometimes it’s a case of unrequited love, where you’re the only one in love.

And at the end of the day, no one wants to waste their time and energy only to get heartbroken in the end.

Here are the 4 signs that he’s just not that into you.

I used to ignore common advice like “Let him come to you.” and how men are hunters.

If I was in the same social group as my crush I wasn’t afraid to start conversation. If I felt extra close with my crush, I’d send a fun text in the hopes that would lead to great conversation.

Sometimes I’d get a reply but many times I was ignored. I cringe thinking how I’d still try again after a couple of days or weeks.

Some people are shy and might be waiting for you to talk to them. While that is a good mindset to have when you’re trying to make friends, I’ve learned that when it comes to romance, there needs to be a line.

If some time passes and you notice that conversation only happens when you initiate, or that him initiating conversation is rare… He’s not that into you.

Stay friends with this person if you can, but don’t get your hopes up of your romance ‘developing’ into anything more than casual.

Stop investing emotionally into someone who feels no natural instinct to invest in you. Don’t settle for a dynamic where your effort is the only reason why it still even exists. Remember that it takes two to tango.

Invest in someone who feels your absence. Someone who sees the value in what you two have and puts an effort to keep that spark going.

Men are simple creatures. If he really likes you, he will grab the opportunities to see you.

Whenever I hit it off with a guy on a date, I was “proactive” in making future plans. Later within that week I’d suggest plans of fun activities we could do.

I thought a few great dates full of laughter surely meant that they would want to go on more. Turns out, this isn’t always the case.

A guy I dated had the classic, “We’ll see.” response every time I tried to make plans. Worse was when we had finalized plans only for him to flake the day before.

I forgave him each time when I should’ve started making plans with other people.

A guy who is not that into you won’t block out time to see you. Because the cold hard truth is that he simply doesn’t want to.

Fast forward a few years later I find out that he traveled from the U.S across the globe for a girl he had feelings for. Yet I had the hardest time getting him to meet me within the same state.

Don’t prioritize someone who sees time with you as optional. Spend time with people who want to make time for you.

It was after a few flirty dates when a guy I dated told me this.

While my brain processed this statement fine, my heart remained naively hopeful. I thought to myself, “Sure he didn’t want anything serious now… But that doesn’t mean that his feelings won’t change later.”

His feelings did not.

My love life did not become the romcom I fantasized it could be. He didn’t develop stronger feelings for me over time. After everything, he still didn’t want to be with me in the way I wanted to be with him.

You can have an incredible connection with someone, but they may want nothing more than occasional fun dates. Don’t waste your time waiting for a romance to ‘blossom’ into what you want it to be.

Timing matters just as much as chemistry. Move on to someone emotionally available. Stop dating someone in the hopes of a happy ending.

I remember going on picture-perfect dates with men, only to not hear from them for the rest of the week.

I would try to think rationally concluding that he’s just ‘busy’. But then days turn into weeks. I’d send out a few texts checking in and would hear crickets.

And just as I was about to move on I finally got a text and all was well again — for now.

I remember still giving someone the benefit of the doubt nearly a month after not hearing from them. I thought that just because my feelings hadn’t changed, that theirs must’ve stayed the same too.

People make time for what and who they choose to prioritize. If you’re hearing crickets accept that your ‘thing’ has run its course. Stop making excuses for someone who isn’t even explaining themselves.

We all get busy, but a guy who really likes you won’t leave you hanging for weeks, only to return and act like nothing happened.