h2>Dating : 5 Reasons Why Dating Sucks
Ever been on a date where your conscious mind is telling you to simultaneously smile and nod, whilst your subconscious mind is thinking about how the hell Jeffrey Epstein was able to ‘kill himself’ in a high-security Manhattan detention facility, with a strip of bedsheet? If yes, you hate dating as much as I do and need to read on…
Installing a dating app is like when you buy a new car. At first you think it’s the best thing since sliced bread — it’s got the latest tech, it has comfy seats, a nice amount of leg room and TWO cup holders! Then, after a short time you realise the drive isn’t as smooth as you thought, the upkeep is frikin’ expensive and the car itself isn’t all that fun.
Ok, so maybe I wanted to create an amusing metaphor. My point is that these apps are trash! Has anyone actually met someone great from these mind numbing, shallow games of misery? I’m exaggerating — I know of some success stories — congratulations. I’ve had so many shitty, disappointing dates from these apps, that I’ve deleted them and won’t be returning anytime soon.
I don’t know about you, but I’m so sick of swiping, sliding, ghosting and boring ass small talk:
“How was your day?”
“Good, you?”
“Good”
“Shall we do drinks soon?”
“Yes, sure”
“When are you around?”
*6 months later…
“Sorry, my fish died and I got a new phone”
I would say I’m a pretty confident person, but when it comes down to a first date I immediately turn into Jim Levenstein from American Pie. It’s just that fear of the unknown! Will they see me, think I’m ugly and run away? Will they be easy to talk to, or will it be me talking shit for 2 hours? If I hate them, what will be the best and easiest method of escape?
I’m almost certain 98% of first dates are absolute shit — most of the time, they make me want to run home, cry and never date again (I’m laughing to myself). Even the preparation: where do you go? Should you book somewhere? What do you wear? How many shots of tequila are you going to drink beforehand? STRESSFUL! And honestly, the stress is so unnecessary! I’m probably never going to see these people ever again…
Organising a date with someone is pretty hard work — more often than not, you’ll be chatting / texting for a few weeks before an actual real-life date. There always seems to be an excuse! “Oh, work is really busy this week sorry”. That one makes me want to stab a pen in my leg and twist. We all work! I’m pretty sure that everyone can spare a couple of hours to go for a drink, right? Maybe, ‘work is busy’ is the universal code for ‘I never actually want to meet you, I’m bored and you give me attention’… who knows?
The worst excuse I ever got was a time I was stood-up for two hours. I was sitting at this stupid, boujie ass bar like an absolute fool, waiting because ‘I’m a nice person.’ I look at my phone and the girl had text me saying:
“I’m so sorry I’m not going to make it, I have to feed my cats.”
I don’t think I even reacted. I shrugged my shoulders, went home and then realised that the dating scene is toxic as fuck and pretty crappy for your self-esteem.
I’m a man, but I feel like this is really important to include in my little rant. I’m lucky enough to have many female friends who have told me about their experiences with men on the apps and dates…it makes me sick to my stomach. Firstly, unsolicited dick pics… they’re unflattering as fuck, they’re going in every WhatsApp group of the girl you’re talking to, and they don’t make women want you. Fellas stop sending that shit! Secondly, if women don’t want to fuck you because you’ve spent £12.99 on a Strawberry Daiquiri for them, grow the fuck up. Just because you’ve spent money on a girl, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to sex!
Dickheads are ruining it for the genuinely nice guys. By treating women like shit, you’re creating a cycle of shitty dating! Now, don’t get me wrong women can also suck, as I’ve demonstrated… let’s just treat each other nicely, stop ghosting each other and be honest!
Now, we are definitely entitled to have a ‘type’ and be attracted and not attracted to certain people. But, I think we have become so obsessive over looks, that we have all limited our pools of potential partners exponentially. I’m definitely not the tallest person, but it seems as though men now have to be at least 6ft or taller to even land a date! Everyone has a personal preference and that’s fine, but modern society and social media has definitely fucked with our expectations (read Is Social Media ruining our lives? for more on this).
I don’t know about you, but I’m so fearful of my “this him” pic! That one photo sent to the ‘girls group’, could completely ruin a good thing — you shouldn’t care that your friend Jessica thinks one of my eyes is lower than the other… fuck you Jessica! It’s sort of sad! We aren’t just our faces, our bodies or our height, we’re so much more! We have to start shifting our focus onto attractive personality traits: kindness, sense of humour, intelligence etc. I am a person that has to have some sort of physical attraction to someone, but emotional attraction is so much more powerful long-term. Who really wants to end up with an absolute bitch or massive ass hole? At the end of the day, we all just want that lovely person we can eat snacks with and watch Netflix with.
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