Dating : 5 Ways to Sustain Your Relationship Through a Tough Time

My husband has been caught in a coronavirus loop. He’s got “Coronabrain”. It’s all he ever reads and talks about. This morning, before he even said “Good morning,” he said, “You won’t believe how many cases we have since I last checked.”

I’ve tried to set boundaries, but they haven’t worked. It’s not that I’m married to an insensitive dolt; it’s just that the pandemic is occupying that much of his bandwidth.

It’s hard being around him when all I want is a break from world news, but like most people worldwide, we are under a stay-at-home order and have been so already for the last two weeks. When I’ve expressed that I need a break, he has only been able to remember my request for, say, 30 seconds before he’s said something like, “Did you hear how many ventilators New York needs?”

A lot of us are probably in relationships with people experiencing this kind of singular obsession and anxiety. COVID-19 is real and frightening. We can’t get away from it. It might feel “normal” to run to the grocery store to pick up something, but even there, you’re reminded to stand six feet away from other customers and the staff is wearing gloves and/or masks.

In this time of forced indefinite closeness, I need reminders of how to deal with my partner, so we can continue to get through this tough time together.

We all get upset about work or something personal at one time or another. We get fired or lose a loved one. Naturally, we have our valleys, where things could be a hell of a lot better.

Being in a committed relationship with someone requires that we give them enough space to be both at their best and their worst. Our partners are not going to be cheery all the time, and we shouldn’t expect them to be.

Regardless of how difficult it is, if you love and care for them, be patient. Tell yourself it won’t be like this forever. Understand it may just be a moment (and the current situation is a BIG moment).

When you’re irritated with or mad at your partner, it can be easy to want to give up what you normally do to express that. Say it’s your job to do the dishes, but because you’re pissed at your partner, you decide to not wash his/her dishes for that day.

Relationships are built on trust. Even when you’re irritated or mad, keep being reliable. Do all the goddamn dishes. Show up when you’re expected to show up. Be consistent and keep your promises. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to be happy about it, but you do have to keep doing it.

Forgiveness is a choice, but more importantly, it’s your choice. You can choose at any time to let something go and not bring it up anymore. Think of it this way: when times are tough, you lose the luxury of hanging onto your anger and resentment towards your partner. You don’t have all of this time to work things out because things are already tense.

So forgive as quickly as possible. Not only will you feel better, but it’ll give you time to focus on moving forward instead of hanging onto the past. You can’t get through anything when all you do is focus on how upset you are with the other person.

Lately, with all of our forced closeness and the fact that his mouth won’t shut up about the coronavirus, the last person I want to hang out with is my husband. This is sad really. He’s normally my favorite person, but no one would be my favorite person after 336 straight hours with them. I need breaks, and that’s been hard to come by when we’ve got 5 people under the same roof 24/7.

Regardless, relationships thrive when we give them attention. Holding hands, communicating honestly, and looking into each other’s eyes are just some of the ways you can improve intimacy and move towards each other. Remember: you’re on the same team, even if it may not feel that way all the time.

With what is going on currently, my husband and I aren’t going to be going ax-throwing or playing paintball anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try something new at home. Now is the perfect time to get creative on recipes with canned goods that you can cook together, taking a class together online, or learning a TikTok dance.

Often relationships get stuck in a rut and breaking them out of that can improve things considerably. Go skydiving, sign up for a cooking class, drive out for a weekend trip to somewhere new, or just try a new cuisine together. Doing something new together can remind you of why you fell in love with your partner and keep you in the right frame of mind.

Every relationship is going to struggle through some bad moments. Think of them as moments instead of lifetimes, and know that even though you may be tested, you can overcome those challenges if you continue to draw close.