Dating : 7 Arguments Every Couple Eventually Has

Your relationship is not doomed, you’re merely human.

A relationship is two people learning how to live their lives together. With wildly different experiences, opinions, and values, arguments will inevitably happen. No couple is “perfect.”

You might’ve just experienced your first fight with your partner. Or maybe it was your thirtieth, and you’re wondering why you spent 20 minutes going back and forth about your taste in Led Zeppelin (rightly founded, btw).

You might be wondering, “What the hell is wrong with us?”

But arguments are far from a sign of a failing relationship. In fact, arguments between a couple are healthy; you should be more worried if you weren’t fighting. Releasing built-up tension and communicating your needs is something every couple needs from time to time.

Arguing is that healthy solution.

While it may feel like your arguments are astronomical and could be a sign of impending doom, a lot of arguments are more common than we think. If you’ve ever been through one of these arguments, know you’re far from alone.

Between my boyfriend’s love for NBA subreddits and involvement in a thriving Slack group filled with whiskey enthusiasts, he is always checking his phone. And since I’m not interested in either of those topics, my fuse is short for how much he looks at his phone.

But in all honesty, I’m no better when it comes to Instagram and TikTok.

Chances are, you won’t have the same phone habits as your partner. And even if you do, sometimes, they’ll pick up their phone at exactly the wrong time. It’s a normal frustration and something worth bringing up if it affects your relationship.

We all know it’s 70 degrees or below, but, for the sake of this article, we’ll pretend like that’s subjective.

There have been many times I’ve woken up to the air conditioning turned off (not even turned up, like a merciful human being). My boyfriend would explain the next morning that it was “just too cold.” Meanwhile, I slept with the comforter at my feet and woke up sticky from sweat.

Arguing over what’s the best temperature to sleep at is bound to happen; two people most likely won’t have the same preferences. And when it affects something as precious as sleep, you both might be waking up to a grumpy argument.

There is no right time/way/frequency to do chores. Yet our opinions on these matters feel wholeheartedly like fact.

For example, I prefer doing the dishes while I cook so I don’t have a pile of them staring at me after I’ve enjoyed my meal. As for the laundry, I could let a pile of clean clothes sit on my chair for days. My boyfriend? Not so much.

It’s totally fair to communicate your preferences and even get upset if your partner doesn’t take the trash out like they promised. There’s nothing that will start an argument more than a pile of clothes lying on your desk chair when your boyfriend wants to sit down to play video games.

If you’ve ever wondered if a comment your partner made was actually a sign they’re secretly upset with you, then you may understand this argument.

Every person handles their feelings differently. Some people hide it, others are passive-aggressive. And some people say what’s on their mind all the time (hi, I am one of those people).

So when your style of handling feelings is different from your partners, you may be asking them, “are we OK?” more often than necessary. In my experience, this kind of question won’t sit well with a partner, especially if asked frequently. So the chances are high your partner will become upset, even if they never were.

I’ve already mentioned my boyfriend’s love for video games and whiskey. Even though — when I take a step back — I can see he doesn’t obsess about either and has a healthy relationship with both, they still bother me simply because I’m not interested in either.

When your partner spends a whole lot of their time doing something you couldn’t care less about (video games, sports, miniature figure painting), it might start to irk you. Mix that with being a rather verbal person like I am, and an argument will probably occur; especially if your partner wishes you could support them (something I work on).

I once dated a guy that loved 90’s hip hop. I am a rock kinda gal. Let’s just say, we NEVER agreed on what to listen to. And we got into an argument about it on more than one occasion.

For some people, their taste in music feels deeply personal. When I went through a particularly dark time with depression, Blink-182 and Nirvana helped me move through it all. When my ex would talk about how trashy they sounded, I felt like he’d attacked who I was.

But music is, for most of us, only one aspect of our lives. While arguments might pop up about your taste in music, they won’t be the end-all to your relationship.

But if you’re the kind of person who switches through songs in the car before they’re even over, you deserve to have the aux cord taken from you.

Ahhh. The good ole ex arguments. They happen to the best of us. No matter how confident and assured you are of your partner’s feelings for you, sometimes, we falter.

My boyfriend doesn’t even have an official ex-girlfriend, yet I’ve asked on multiple occasions whether he misses the girls he dated before me. While my current beau brushes it off like NBD, my exes didn’t always react well to those kinds of questions.

While it’s important not to let your insecurities get the best of you, we’re all only human in brining up our partner’s past lovers. Whether it be curiosity or jealousy, at some point, you’re bound to bring up the taboo subject.