Dating : 8 Ways To Keep Your Long-Distance Relationship Alive During A Pandemic

If you are not quarantined together — you’re in the LDR sphere.

The world is standing still and we are dependent on the internet for almost everything that we do. That includes our most intimate relationships.

My own LDR is coping with this lockdown, and it’s hard not to be able to push through with travel plans — even harder not to plan anything for the next 2 or 3 months.

Here are some of the things that have been working for me and my partner. See how it works for you.

Do things together.

When I say together, this means ‘at the same time’. Because you and your partner are apart, all you can do is to connect by experiencing the same thing. Feeling the same things, listening to the same words, seeing the same scenes or view.

Watch a movie, series or episodes, documentaries and discuss afterwards.

Play a game over Zoom or find a game that you can both play online.

Go on a ‘happy hour’ by logging into Zoom (which is now more secure) and drink your favorite beer or wine.

Now that you have more time on your hands, it’s time to get those creative juices flowing.

Check-in on each other more often.

This is a time like no other, and we must care for one another like never before.

I’ve had several days when I was irritable and lonely to the point of crying, and I couldn’t fully explain why. Deep down I knew that it’s because of being locked up here at home, not being able to do anything else.

My boyfriend told me after a disagreement, ‘We need an extreme amount of patience for each other. Things are extremely tough right now and not being able to see each other next month makes it much worse.’

We need to be kinder.

A simple ‘Are you feeling alright today?’ and ‘Did you get a good sleep last night?’ mean so much.

We cannot only rely on our partners to keep us ‘happy’ during this time.

Here are good suggestions from Mayo Clinic to care for ourselves and our mental health right now.

Ask each other about family.

If possible, send a quick message to your partner’s family members just to let them know that they are in your thoughts.

Because we are isolated from each other, it’s extremely helpful to let other people know that you are thinking or remembering them.

For us Filipinos, our families are involved in a couple’s life. My partner has relatives here in Manila. Checking on them and seeing what they are up to is a good way to catch up, and maintaining that tradition until we can meet in person again.

Show and tell.

This is common for LDR couples who were often separated before this pandemic.

Whatever it is you do, have or make that you are excited about, no matter how small — a new pasta recipe, groceries, flowers blooming in the garden — take pics and videos, and share.

It’s a simple way of connecting.

Be appreciative of your partner’s presence in your life and say it out loud.

Say ‘I really admire you for getting up early today for your home workout. I know it’s so hard to do it outside the gym’ or ‘Thank you for remembering to ask about my parents’. They might sound cheesy, but as long as what you say is heartfelt and honest, this will nourish your relationship.

Watch this TED talk together, about the relationship between gratefulness and happiness, and appreciate your partner and the little things in life, whether there’s a pandemic or not.

Loosen the rules.

If your partner forgot to do your early morning call, or just wasn’t feeling like it, let it slip. Don’t act all grumpy about it all day.

Give more space, be more considerate and understanding. Respect your partner’s needs. He or she must be going through the same difficulties, if not even more.

The whole world is going through a traumatic time and once the lockdown in our respective countries are lifted, it won’t mean that everything is over. This pandemic has forced us to stay home 24/7, not to have a social life, enter an entirely new way of thinking to survive.

Everyone — whether directly affected by the virus or not — is going through stuff.

Dress up for your online date.

We’re all missing using our nice outfits and favorite scents. If you go on a Facetime or Whatsapp or Zoom dates with your partner, act as if you really are going on an actual date!

We usually schedule our dates now, because we talk 1–2 times a day. When we were just starting, it felt like every video call was a date. Now, we have to set aside time to sit down and focus on each other. We usually use Fridays or Saturdays.

You can even put some make up on, blow dry your hair, do a facial treatment or body scrub. Treat yourself to a relaxing, hot bath to get ready.

Trust me, it will make you feel great and will change your mood. Your partner will appreciate the effort.

Do your stuff at the same time and just be silent together.

Sometimes, I work on my articles and he plays a videogame. Or he does his home workout and I work on promoting my articles online. We still get on a call even if there’s nothing to say.

It’s one of our ways to be there for each other.

We don’t have to talk, we just have to be present.

Final thoughts

My partner and I have been a long-distance couple for almost a year now.

It’s tough not to see each other for over 5 months. There is nothing like him being near, hearing his voice and holding his hand. He constantly assures me that one day we will get to where we want to be and I believe him.

Our situation is not ideal but this pandemic has shown me the simple joys of having a partner (even on the other side of the world): being listened to, appreciated, and loved.

As we wait, let’s do our best to be there for one another no matter the distance. Sooner or later, we’ll be back together again.