Dating : Can you make my fear go away?

“After all of it, I can’t even let anyone into my life.

I try. I do. And I tried and I felt nothing. It was nice going out and laughing.

But I felt nothing.

It’s nice to not feel for a change. It’s nice to not be heartbroken about someone and just have the memory of that person in your heart.

And I’ll always think: “yeah, he broke my heart but he also made me feel so much. No one has been lucky since.”

It is also a relief that I haven’t put myself into a situation when I feel too much and when I break my heart all over again.

That’s why it’s all the same men, who want something from me, but who I do not want anything from.

Some of them repel me, some of them I resent. For the only thing that they want and all the lies they’ve been telling themselves and me.

In the end of the day, I still want him or someone like him, someone better, someone who won’t break my heart but make it whole and hopeful again.

I dream of that day. When my person will come into my life and make me feel again, make me feel wonderful things.”

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