Dating : Come on baby light my fire!

I’m done with the heavier topics for now. Instead, I, in my infinite perfection and wisdom, will today tell you which things annoy me the most in men’s Tinder profiles.

Let’s get straight into it. I’ve divided this into two sections, one regarding text and one regarding pictures. And a bonus part about etiquette that should not be needed.

Listing countries you’ve visited. Just the mere fact that you’ve stepped foot in x number of countries does not make you interesting. If you are keeping count of the number of countries you’ve been to, in order to brag on Tinder I’m going to go ahead and assume you stayed in some touristy area and actually know nothing of the everyday life of normal people in the country in question. A hotel is a hotel is a hotel, and a pool is a pool is a pool, not impressed.

Using worn out cliches. “Taller than you in heals.” “Help me delete this app.” Not funny, not original, not impressed.

Not having any profile text at all. You think your good looks are enough? Or your pictures tell a thousand stories? (Ok, sometimes it works.) So this is not super annoying, it’s just boring. At least with me your chances of being liked are bigger if you say something. Good looks are nice, but if that is all you’ve got to offer you won’t get very far.

Writing “just ask”, or something to that effect. Come on! You do realize you are not the only man on this app? I find this lazy and arrogant. Those are not features I’m looking for in a man. This is one of the most annoying things to me.

Having one picture only. Especially if that picture is of someone really hot. I don’t trust men with only one picture. It’s probably not your picture anyway.

Having selfies only. One selfie is enough. What’s the point in putting five selfies where you look just the same and that don’t give any context? Use the pictures to show who you are, what your life is like, what kind of things you like. Pictures should tell stories. To me, the stories your picture tells are more important than looks. Unless the story is “here is my face” and “here is my face again”.

Post pictures posing with their car. Ok, I know I just said you should use the pictures to show what you like etc, but posing next to a fancy car…just doesn’t work for me. Maybe for someone else it does.

Overdoing one type of picture. Kind of the same as the selfie issue. Having multiple pictures that are all the same makes no sense to me.

More important though than what you put in your profile is of course how you interact. Tinder is a place to meet people, like a bar. Someone being on Tinder does not automatically give you the right to sexual advances. This seems surprisingly difficult for men to understand. I’ve had many men start conversations with “I’d like to be inside of you” or “Can I have some pussy” and similar advances. It is uncomfortable. It is not a one off. It is not cultural. I’ve had it happen in various countries in the world, and it happens more than once. Is this common the other way around as well? Do women do this a lot? How do you men feel about it?

These kind of advances, when they come out of the blue, completely unprovoked, are technically sexual harassment. It is not ok.

I know it is not all men. I also know some men, when I talk about things like this, will just tell me to not care about idiots who say things like that. I’d like to not care, but having had to deal with comments like these since about age 12, like most women I know, I’m over not caring. It is just not ok. It is not my responsibility to “not care”, it is the responsibility of these men to start acting better. Period.