Dating : Dating world blues

“Dating in LA is not easy,” said Ven Wilson. Ven is a 37 year old Jamaican man who is heterosexual and living in Inglewood. Living in a metropolitan area and single should be a good recipe for finding a partner, but Ven has yet to find the right one, that special person who wants to join him on this journey called life.

Ven has been on a dating hiatus since March of 2020 because of the coronavirus. “I’m actually grateful that I wasn’t stuck quarantining with any of the last few women I met before the pandemic hit and shut everything down. I’ve read articles on quarantine dating and it doesn’t sound good,” Ven said.

Ven has tried online dating, speed dating, blind dates – set-up through mutual friends, and he has tried to organically meet women in person at bars or out involved in activities that you would hope to perhaps meet other single and available people. “I was on plenty of fish when I was living up north. I met a woman out for a date and was almost robbed by someone who I think she knew. Never tried that again,” laughs Ven as he recalled that very moment.

According to Ven women don’t see the value in him. “The women I meet are looking for the bad boy type of man. The fact that I am educated and work a regular job isn’t exactly what most women are looking for. Women also tell me I am shorter than what they desire. One person I was interested in dating said that she did not think her friends would approve of the fact that I work for the gas company. She told me that I make pretty good money but it wouldn’t be viewed as enough to her friends,” he said.

He graduated from Cal. State Northridge with a degree in business. Currently, he works for Southern California Gas Company as a utility specialist and he’s a union shop steward.

He is extremely close to his family and a few years ago he purchased a home for his mother. He is out going and in his spare time he does martial arts. He loves to travel and most importantly he is looking to be with just one woman. “My friends tell me that I am funny too,” he said.

“My father has five children with 4 different women. I vowed early on in my life that I would not follow in his footsteps. As a result, it makes women more suspect of my motives. A lot of women don’t believe me when I tell them I’m not involved with someone else. Especially, African American woman. They believe I have to be lying about my status,” he said.

He said his most successful dating experiences have been with women who have already been through some situations like marriage or long term relationships that did not work out for them. “I call it the ex-husband type syndrome. Once they have lived through the failure of their relationship, women have more of an appreciation for who I am,” he said.

“I have had a lot of time to think about what it is that I want and once the pandemic is over or at least more manageable, I have decided that I will be more discriminating in my search. I think I have dated down in the past, so to speak. I want to find someone who has similar values and desires. Someone who is willing to do the work it requires to be in a successful relationship. In the meantime, I am fine being single,” said Ven.