Dating : Finding the Love of Your Life

Or how to love in all the wrong ways

I gripped his hands in mine, watching his profile as he watched the last of the stragglers go home. He was concentrating on one person in particular, the person I knew would always come before me in his heart.

Knowing that my future husband had been in love with someone else, the entirety of our wedding planning had been a hard pill to swallow, but not uncommon in our family alliances. So, I watched him watch her, while his hands rested in mine, our rings making lights dance on the roof of the ballroom.

The wedding had been perfect in a way that our lives would never be. I knew that going into this marriage. I had planned for it and purposely wanted her to be at our wedding. To witness the vows and our very first dance while she soaked in the celebration and our well-wishers. It was a pitying move. But I wanted her to remember my husband’s vows of loyalty when they eventually ended up in bed together. I wanted her to remember all the ways he would always be mine and never hers. It might seem vindictive. Even vain. I was a princess, after all. We were supposed to be demure and without compromise. But why should she not suffer the way I always would?

When I kissed him on the altar, I had felt his hesitance. Even now, as we were alone, I felt it even more. We were, after all, a marriage of convenience. I didn’t love him, and I definitely knew he had no care for me. Other than a brief moment of weakness, and of course, the desire to provide heirs to the kingdom.

I knew he would do his job well, even if his heart was not in it. He turned to look at me, his eyes twin oceans of sadness. My new husband, the future king, would only ever show that weakness to me. His courtiers and advisors would never see the love that he withheld from me. For he had promised to play his part well.

And so he would.