Dating : Got Damn Monkeys & Astronauts

how did we do it? hell son what do yuh mean how? how can I even say it — yeh ever seen a sea gull flying right above the ocean water, jus mindin its own business, and then it goes and swoops into the water like some magnet down there pulled it out the air? and the next thing you know it’s turned all the way back around with some fish or something in its beak, jus soarin’ on home to feed its young or somethin? it was like that. jus like yer flying and then swoop, some gravitational force just pulls you in without yer ever thinkin twice. probably the same stuff that pulls the sun up in the mornin, or makes a got-damn lion or cheetah go all gung-ho on some antelope or somethin. and i don’t mean to make it sound all violent, don’t mean to say it was like hunting — there was a dance to it, obviously. art even. can’t jus walk right up to ’em ’n grab ’em by the forearm or whatever and have your way, gotta conceal yourself, you know, act like yer not interested, make it seem to her like it was some acci-dent, as if it were some astronomical coinci-dence yer standin right there in front of’her, making conversation outta nowhere, and not shooting pool or smoking with your buddies or throwin horseshoe out back with all the other fellas who either have themselves a woman or already had their spine removed. but really when you were there in front of’er, in all reality what’s happenin is nothin more’n the gravitational pull that makes the world spin around thuh sun done found yeh in this moment and now here we are, talkin to one another. which sure if you want to get all technical about it i guess yuh could say all the hidin and pretendin is all kinda useless. or at least it could’ve been, yuh know, cause after all yer just one of a billion fellas doing what they all did before you, so I guess if we coulda all justa been logical about it and seen that some fella who walks up to a lady he finds interestin is jus doin what every got-damn man or monkey has been doin since the lord done spun this here earth around the sun. got-damn dinosaurs too i bet, shit. so i mean sure, no real need to be pretending like it’s something it aint, like it’s some kinda bad thing tuh be shamed of, like it’s what the preacher man calls lustful. aint lustful. gotta be the only thing monkeys and astronauts have in common, this here dance of two suitors. all natural, jus evidence yuh got a pulse and some nuts to go with it, so yea, whole game pretending like yer not interested was kinda silly, sure. but you do it, because that’s what you do, try not to say too much, but try not be lookin down at your shoes neither, like even if you had yer way you’d be fiddling around with your jimmy and what not, not even knowin what in the hell you’re doin. and sure, i’d say ten times outta twelve she’s not interested, gotta man already, jus out with her girl friends, not lookin for nothin. maybe, maybe not. cry about it if you’d like, but my policy on these here delicate moments was always this — that jus because there’s a goalie, doesn’t mean you can’t run right up to ’em and kick ’em square in the nuts.

i’m jus playin — i wadnt a hot head about that stuff, i’d jus roll right on to the next lady, you know, or go home, try it again next time. jus keep doin what got -dam babboons and doctors and leonardo davinci all did, you know, which is jus reach that point where you say well ya know what, unless i go on up to her and say somethin, i know exactly what’s gonna happen: nothin, and if you spend yer days collectin too much nothin for too long, well, then i guess you’ll wake up one day a whole lot older, with no one to look at but yourself, smellin yer own farts, sayin to the dog ‘wassat?!’ and wishin youda done something before yeh could hear your own personal train comin, near about ready to pick you up and head on down to that final stop we’re all headed for. so i mean sure, yeh get some butterflies, and i mean yuh better, cause if yuh don’t well then somethins wrong with either her or yourself, and if your jimmys workin fine then odds are somethins wrong with you. so yea, they like to say no sometimes, like the play the game too, like they’on want nobody and they’re all fine the way they are, but everyone who’s more’n about a day old knows only so many naights yuh can go tuh sleep all by yerself, that goes for the man and the woman, bet yer ass it does, so sooner or later, if yer hair was shampood and you didn’t have nothin stickin out yer teeth and you could look her in the eye and say somethin while keeping yer poundin heart there beneath your shirt, sooner or later yuh both put down the fencin swords, take off them silly masks and start lookin out for one another, and do yer best to keep yer lil jimmy down there from messin it all up. i’dont miss it — all the smooth talkin — but it wadnt the worst thing in the world, if yeh can have fun with it, treat it like the game it is. keep things in perspective. but i’m aware, that was a while ago. hell son, how do you do it?