Dating : His Smile & His Poison

“Endless words, only he could turn them into poison.”

I met him when one chapter of my life had finished. He was smiling at me and made me want to know the person who made me feel tingles on the inside. Who gave me butterflies and made my body sweat more than usual.

I had just arrived in South Korea and I was ready to begin my new adventure as an artist exploring a new place, a new serenity. He was there on the street outside of the airport doors at Incheon, Airport playing his guitar and singing with a voice of an angel.

As I was waiting for my taxi, he was smiling brightly and that’s when our little innocent but deadly adventure began…

We both had begun to talk to each other about our lives and it seemed like minutes became days and days became months. He grew up with abusive parents, I grew up with an abusive boyfriend. Our scars and our pain became our connection, but little did we know that our pain our love and our connection was toxic from the start.

I was a violinist at the time and had no money, while he was a guitarist and a singer with lots of money. They say money shouldn’t define a relationship, but it did. He was controlling my every move, my every thought and my every feeling.

He said he never wanted to hurt me, to hurt me like he was hurt. But he did, he was the very thing I tried to escape from. The very existence I feared the most, yet my heart couldn’t leave. Every bone in my body, every single cell and feeling wanted him. His touch on my skin that made me weak and mesmerized.

I could live with the pain, because I was his only and he was my only one. I never thought I could deserve more, I mean what could I possibly know when I had only ever known controlling men, men who thought they owned everything and everyone.

But when his eyes steered away and his heart moved faster to a nice new object, I became a rotten rag, a used piece of property that remained his but was nothing more than a possession.

That was the last straw, I could take anything from him as long as we remained us. But when I became replaceable like an object in a house. I was done with all of it, I was not going to let myself drown any further.

The thing with him is that he has a way with words and a way to make someone feel amazing and crappy and all the different emotions. I confronted him in the act. The act he pulled on me, he pulled on someone else. I was weak to my knees, but instead of letting myself drown and run away like I used to. I stood my ground, I told him all of my feelings, I came into the room where he was enamored with his new possession like a wrecking ball and stormed out.

You see a nice smile, and a nice wallet and a charming personality means nothing, not when love becomes an obsession, a pain and a poison. Love is sweet not a terrifying poison. When love becomes a poison thats when you need to leave.